I am 31 years old and a virgin. My parents did a real number on my head using religion and conservative thinking to freak me out about sex. I later became an atheist and now believe that sex is a basic animal urge not to be feared due to ignorant philosophy.
But now I’m freaked out about STD’s. I don’t believe condoms protect against everything and I’m pretty sure that current medical science will support my belief that you can get herpes even when there is no visible outbreak. It’s scary living in LA where everybody really does sleep with everybody.
I’m also afraid of my future spouse having a problem with me having had too many partners.
I want to make up for lost time and have a healthy sex life if I can. I get a lot of responses in a couple of personal ads and there are many people whom I wouldn’t have a serious relationship with but would be interested in being friends with benefits. Some are pursuing me very aggressively and I wonder if I’m being crazy for holding out.
2007-08-23 08:01:36 · 19 answers · asked by BNW88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that no one will have sex with you b/c you are too paranoid. Relax man!! Im sure that once you DO have sex, you wont be so paranoid about these things. Anyway, most adults see casual sex as just a fun and natural thing. I dont think theres anuthing wrong with it unless you are not being honest and upfront with the other person. But good luck getting some booty!
2007-08-23 08:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a personal choice, for sure. But if you feel like you need to, then do. And don't panic about STD's. When condoms are used correctly they are pretty safe. Your chances are diminished greatly. I would think its a safe bet to say once you meet the right person, they will think you are adequate sexually most likely. It's more than sex in a true relationship. Being worried about your future partner thinking you had too many sex partners is normal. Just don't do it with every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the block, if you need it that bad, then once in a while with the same person or two people would be fine I'm sure. The average person has 5 sex partners during their lifetime. Obviously there is a good portion that have way more than that, but there is also a good portion that has way less. Just do what you feel is right for you, if you find someone down the road that is bugged by it, then you don't want them anyways... If they are your best friend/soulmate/ what ever you want to call it, they will like you for you and not for how many partners you have or have not had.
2007-08-23 08:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by Chelsea L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the condoms, they work. You are still too paranoid about this. There is no rule that you have to tell your future spouse how many partners you have had. I think you forget that alot of people still only have sex with those they LOVE. Make up for lost time by finding someone you care about and go from there. You can have a healthy sex life if you stay protected and yes.. don't just sleep around to "catch up". You are holding out because you really don't know what you are doing or what to expect. At 31 you should start now!!
2007-08-23 08:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep sounds like the parents did do a number on you...cause sex is very normal and its even in the bible and what is acceptable..it doesn't matter how many partners you have had when the right one you want to marry comes along that's in the past..also sex is not an animal urge animals only have sex to produce off spring and not for pleasure...humans are the only ones that have sex just for the pleasure. but like you said you have to be ware of disses and condoms are the only safest thing so far so its miss out or use condoms till you with someone that has been checked out by the dr. and its someone you want a relationship with...so good luck and be safe
2007-08-23 08:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice would be this. you only live once why hold out on anything. yes STD's are scarey but some are cause by bacteria which is easily curable like herpes. dont let your fear interfere with your actions. just use condoms they are very effective if used properly. and if you are scared that your partner might have a STD ask them to go get tested before you get involved with any sexual activity. and just remember to always use a condom or a dente dam for oral sex. Good Luck!
2007-08-23 08:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex outside of marriage is wrong. I waited till I got married, and I am SOOOOO glad I did. I was 21 when I got married and it has been 4 great years! I couldn't imagine wasting my self on some random person. If more people only had sex inside of marriage there wouldn't be any STD's, unwanted pregnancies, jealousy, and heartache. God telling us to wait till marriage is a protection, not a restriction to be cruel. People should stop looking at it as a cruel restriction and have more self control and be more responsible. The world would be a better place.
2007-08-23 08:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LISTEN UP
You are 31 yes, but not dead,
don't be foolish and try to make up, you can't miss something that you never had.
ok, so you were mis-led, but, you have lots of time to find a woman that loves you for who you have become.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone, deciding to go out there and play or make up for lost time is a very bad idea.
there is where you will end up in problems.
take your time meet some nice girls, get to know them, and see if any one of them is right for you. not just for you pleasure, you are right about the condoms and std's so if you know that much then you should know better than to rush out there for the sake of se..........
you have lived to be 31, what is a few more yrs. in waiting.
think before you act.
2007-08-23 08:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by karibbean beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The decision to engage in casual sex is a personal one. Only you can decide if it's right for you.
It sounds like you are very confused and conflicted right now. Perhaps before you pursue a sexual relationship you should speak with a therapist, or at least a trusted friend.
2007-08-23 08:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casual sex is not a good idea for many reasons. While sex is a basic biological urge, rutting (casual sex) can lead to disease, unwanted pregnancy, etc.
Since you are a grown man, why not put more effort into finding a committed relationship that will provide not only sex, but companionship as well?
2007-08-23 08:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by faireday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STD's/HIV is a real problem, and most people dont really take it seriously.I'm a graduate student, and in our student population almost 60% of students have HIV.so i'm not into the whole casual sex thing.you have to look out for yourself.you only have 1 life.
2007-08-23 08:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by ordinary jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋