Do you think it's a good idea to bring porn and sex toys into a marriage.
2007-08-23 07:50:59 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no my hair doesn't really look like the avatar..lol..I have long brown hair..anyways I asked this question because my husband is getting kinda boring in the bedroom
2007-08-23 08:10:08 · update #1
This from a couple that's been happily married (and enjoyed great sex) for 37 years.
Erotica has been around for thousands of years. It began as painting, sculpture and poetry, and eventually evolved into literature, photography, acting, and video.
Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.
Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.
Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."
Both men and women (single and in a relationship) have shown a desire to enjoy erotica in some form.
Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!
The latest estimates are that Americans now spend somewhere around $10 billion a year on adult entertainment, which is as much as they spend attending professional sporting events, buying music or going out to the movies.
There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.
As long as a partner is taking care of his/her obligations and responsibilities (job, family) and seeing that the other person is being fulfilled sexually, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying alternative forms of arousal.
Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from their vagina/mouth/hand. That is sad.
There are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.
And then, there are many couples such as ourselves that enjoy a mature, fully-developed sex life.
For decades, we have enjoyed adult erotica (videos, literature) both together and privately.
OUR MARRIAGE HAS NOT SUFFERED FROM THIS ~ IF ANYTHING, IT HAS FLOURISHED.
My wife's favorite device (link below) is the Eroscillator. It is one of the two highest selling sexual devices (it is not a "toy") in the world.
2007-08-23 11:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by John Doe 1st 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-17 09:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex was ordained for marriage. The fact that you are married there is nothing sinful with the act invovling you and your partner. Once it doesn't becoming immoral like animals os some third person and t hings of that nature. It's all fair game. Sex was created to be enjoyed by husband and wife within a marriage. So, endulge your wife with as much foreplay as she likes, just make sure you're enjoying it too. It's about pleasing each other not a selfish act.
2016-05-21 00:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by jeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly no if you don't do things to spice up a marrige it can get boring! Start small though maybe condoms that have different ribbing, then wamring lotions, lingerie, .... then see after all that how he feels. If he seems to warm up to the ideas (maybe even role playing get a nurses outfit) then he should be okay if you ask him about other things suck as cock rings, vibrators and such. Include him in it all though. You don't want him to think he is doing something wrong, you want him to feel like he helped in the process and that he is really satisfying you with this. Guys alllllways need the ego boost! My fiance' and I use different toys and such and we watch porn sometimes even on the internet (yahoo lookup under videos) and it can really open up a whole new sex life for you!
2007-08-23 08:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I believe you can bring pron and sex toys into a marriage. You have to have boundaries and know why enough is enough. The porn can't get out of control. If one doesn't want to use it then you have to respect that and not use it. When it comes down to it all you have to do is use common sense. You shouldn't make your partner feel bad about themselves with it. I was in a relationship where even after we were done he would and watch porn... that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. When you use porn it should be a tool to get you started not to make your life harder than it needs to be.
Stephanie
2007-08-23 08:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as both partners are comfortable yes. My husband and I enjoy these things. Of course there are always people who go crazy with it, so I think you can implement rules or boundaries. Like if you want to use toys, and I'm home, make sure I get some action too. Porn and toys should never replace a partner, especially if they are home, being out of town or away from each other of course is OK to use various toys.
2007-08-23 07:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by ChemE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my wife enjoyed toys and then moved to movies. It is fun for both if both want it. Start small like with a vibe then move up. Or try the porn route get his opinion and go from there. Another suggestion go shopping together and see what he is interested in. Ask him what his fantasies are and fulfill one or two and then have him fulfill some of yours.
2007-08-23 13:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree to the toys porn maybe for a hot minute to get u started but other then that im not a huge fan of porn. Im all for toys though, lol.
2007-08-23 08:41:02 · answer #8 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and i tried the porn but we both can't get passed how staged it is and it's just people acting like they are really turned on and besides that once you seen one you seen them all and after a while it gets boring so we stop. Now toys i like but he only uses them once in a while i don't want to hurt his feelings so i say nothing.
2007-08-23 10:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think porn or toy's are fine in a marriage as long as both can agree on what 's going on and it is done together great idea
2007-08-23 08:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by demetrius n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋