How should I coax my wife to fulfill my favorite sex fantasy?

Question

Years before I married, I was introduced to group sex, and I fell in love! Can't describe enough how incredibly attracted I am to that! Have a wonderful relationship with my wife, and have asked her to let me watch her with another man. She says she needs more time to think about it, and this same answer has been repeated for a year. How should I coax her? Should I pressure her? I am confident that she would do this if I put her in the situation without asking, but I want her verbal approval on this first! We talk, and sometimes she "thinks" she will try this at least once, but other days she is not ready, or not sure. And I tell her many times it is okay to simply say no, never, but she says she is not opposed to it at this time, just not sure if she can go through with it. But no progress has been made for a year now, and I am getting very anxious with the "maybe" answer. I want a definite yes or no! What do I do?

Answer 1

Dear Anxious,
Try this:

Do a search for the author Lora Leigh or some of these titles:

The Men of August series of books - 3 brothers who can only be fulfilled sexually by sharing their women between them. 4 books.

The Bound Hearts series. I'm not sure, maybe 6 or 7 in the series. The are all about a group of men called the Trojans who also seek their partner's fullest pleasure by sharing their women.

Also do a search for Romantica - a cross between romance novels and erotica - usually written by women for women, but occasionally you will find a male contributor.

My suggestion is purchase a couple of the e-books and read them with her - most are short stories. Maybe she will see that sharing a a VERY GOOD thing.

Good luck - to both of you.

Answer 2

If after a year she only gives you maybe or possible answers, then she is stringing you along, either because she fears you would leave her or that she would disappoint you.

You could always have group sex without your wife. Or get a divorce or you could just stop asking.

However though, a clever way would be to try to entice her into it with something like "you want to go on vacation" she says yes then you respond how about we go to hedonism. If she wont go or agrees to go and once there she still will not swing then you have your answer.

Another thing you could try is taking a trip to Amsterdam and you and your wife going to a swinger club, or just buy a couple pros, or go to a brothel. The relaxed atmosphere of the city is a good place to get her on her wild side.

If you can afford it you could also try buying a realdoll and using that in bed at home with your wife to get her more comfortable with another person in the room.

Answer 3

Not sure if this is a serious question, but I'm on vacation so what the hey.

You should have discussed these fantasies with your wife before you got married, as you had been participating in these groups before that time and knew your own needs and interests. She should not be pressured. Breech of intimacy is a sure way to head for divorce court.

I recommend looking for a very experienced LICENCED sex therapist for the two of you to see together. It could be that a compromise can be reached to satisfy your curiosity and make your wife comfortable at the same time.

Answer 4

If it has taken a year and the answer is still not a firm yes, then it's probably no. She probably has good reason to feel apprehensive, or maybe it's just not her thing. You should not pressure her to do it if she isn't into it. You also should not just spring it on her. Have a serious talk with her and tell her you need to know if she will or not. Accept no if she says she can't or won't do it.