at the moment im working in a bank doing a job that i enjoy but i dont rush to work on a morning - basically i enjoy my work mates best. however, ive been married just over a year to a fab guy who i wish i could do more for. he earns in excess of £80k working as a self employed property developer and my income is rubbish so my contribution to the house is minimal.
i wish i could have a lovely tidy house; always have the clothes washing done and make nice meals every night but i physically cant as i dont have time.
my husband knows ive not been happy for a while and i was off ill for 2 weeks, last month and although i was ill, everything at home was perfect. therefore we were BOTH happy. he has a stressful job abd when he's finished a project he'd lv to relax abroad for a couple of weeks but we cant 'cos of my job.
is it "acceptable" to become a housewife when you dont have children? would people look down on me and think i was being lazy?
2007-08-23 05:22:30 · 25 answers · asked by Pretty Polly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What other people think really doesn't matter. If you both agree that this is the situation that you want, then go for it, more power to you.
2007-08-23 05:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by tg315 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No they shouldn't think you're lazy but you know some ppl can be rude.. I think it would be a nice thing to do for your husband. Even though you don't think your minimal amount of incoming coming in helps in actuality any income helps. You can become a housewife without having children already or anything. I did before I got pregnant and had my son. I had dinner hot and ready on the table the minute he walked in the door. I'd always call or have him call when he was a certain time length away. It's ultimately his and your decision about this also, so ask him his opinion on if you were to quit your job to become a housewife and see what he says. You'd have to rebudget finances maybe since that extra amount you'd normally have wouldn't be coming in anymore.
2007-08-23 05:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by short_mommy_20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, does it really matter what others think?
Yes you can be a housewife without having children. If you and your husband both agree, why not do it? You have the opportunity to provide a great home for your husband and to enjoy doing what you want to do.
I wish I had that opportunity. My husband would love for me to stay home and not work and I would love it as well. I love sewing and quilting and crafts. I love to cook and we do keep a spotless house. Unfortunately, I have to work due to financial reasons. My husband even put our home up for sale so we could get something smaller with smaller payments so that perhaps I could stop working or just work part time. My kids are all grown up.
Do what is best for you and your husband and don't worry about what others think. It is a great opportunity.
2007-08-23 05:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by MrsRusty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reasons to stop working:
1) the term is houseWIFE, not houseMOTHER.
2) you can do anything you want.
3) you two can afford it. if you think staying home will increase your marital satisfaction, then it is worth it.
4) you will probably be more relaxed and happy.
reasons to keep working:
1) your husband could easily fall ill and not be able to work. before you quit, consider disability insurance for him.
2) consider keeping your job and hiring a maid. you could spend as much as your entire salary to get all the help you need around the house since it is not needed to pay the bills.
3) your resume will suffer. if you ever decide to re-enter the workforce, you will have to start at the bottom and will have to compete with younger candidates who have more current educational backgrounds.
4) other adults without children will be at work during the day. you may begin to feel isolated and lonely. while there will be other stay-at-home women, they likely will have children and will be in cliques with other moms.
5) people WILL judge you. can you handle that? you can counteract this by going to school instead of working. college schedules are very flexible. i am married with no children. i quit my job in may and i go to school full-time to work on a doctorate. i don't have class at all on friday and i'm only on campus for 4 hours the other days of the week. this gives me time to grocery shop, clean, and still add value to my resume. i also interact with a lot of different people of various ages, marital statuses, and such.
6) consider a lower paying or volunteer position that is more fulfilling than your current job. perhaps you could work somewhere part-time (battered women's shelter, teen call line, animal sheltr, etc.) these places typically only need 20 or fewer hrs of your time per week. also consider joining or heading some community boards. since money isn't an issue, it will be a good way to stay connected with others, bring in a little money, and still have lots of time to tidy the house.
btw, i am a sociology student conducting an anonymous study on relationships. visit: http://geocities.com/sbiv37/marr
2007-08-23 05:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can worry about what other people think of you. This is something you and your husband have to agree to and it's no one else's business. I happen to be doing just what you're talking about!! My husband and I moved out to Arizona for a great job for him. He told me upfront "look, I'm going to be making plenty of money so if you want to just take some time off to kick back and do some things you enjoy, that's fine!" And you know what? I took him up on it! It's been great....gets a little boring but there are always things to do around the house it seems. Part of the problem is the town we live in is tiny so even when I look for jobs, there are hardly any! So, he'd rather me just not work than do something I'm miserable doing......this isn't a permanent situation....just kind of taking a vacation from work which is nice! :)
2007-08-23 05:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your decision and yours only. My decision was the following and you can take it however you'd like. First of all, I searched long and hard to find a good daycare and instead found a fantastic young nanny to stay home with my daughter. She's been with us over a year and has been fantastic. She cooks the menu I put together at the beginning of the week, and my daughter looks forward to her coming over. There are schools that do offer a more advanced curriculum is that's what you'd like for your children. My daughter is not to that age yet, but she will most likely go to a private school that offers a more stable, and stronger environment. I chose to go to work because it makes me happy. I enjoy my career and would not leave it unless I had to. I work in a chiropractor's office and am the only person there other than the doctor. I am needed in that office, and losing my relationship with the hundreds of patients that I know by name as well as birthday, souse, and important life event would be a tragedy for me. You need to do what's right for you and no one can tell you what that is. My main comment to you though is this... I don't believe others think it is healthy to socialize with drug dealers and wackos, but what is wrong with those who enjoy Halo3? You are not that child's parent and you can maintain your children's lives rather than restricting them from others. Your children do need to socialize with other children to learn how the world works. The world is ran on communication and interpersonal skills, and your child will learn these in a school setting, private or public. I belive if your children are raised correctly they will choose who to be around and who not to be around and therefore you should have no problems with their choice of friends. Like I said though, this is your decision and nobody else's. Sorry for the extremely long reply.
2016-05-20 23:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all dependent on what works best for YOUR family. A lot of women who have successful husbands stay home. It is totally acceptable and anyone who called you lazy would be judgemental. Having children isn't the only good reason to be a housewife. Your reason seems to be a valid one and the house and marriage may run smoother if you choose to do it. Good luck and don't worry about what other people think!
2007-08-23 05:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is most definitely acceptable if that is what you and your husband want. Other people may look down on you or think you are being lazy, but they do not know what is best for your marriage, and what they think is not what matters. What matters is what works for you and your husband and what keeps your marriage happy.
Personally, I believe it is God's design for the wife to be home. It makes her more available to meet her husband's needs. Plus I have noticed in my marriage that any time I have had a job outside the home, it has caused my husband more stress, because if something happens at work that stresses me out, it also stresses him out, which caused more strain on our marriage. Everything just flows better in our marriage when I am home.
2007-08-23 06:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A housewife is someone who tends to there husbands needs and tend to the responsibility's of the house!!!! Don't worry what people think if this is what you want to do then hey so be it !!!! I would love to stay home and be able to take care of my husband and house like i should! Thank god i have the kind of man by my side that helps me around the house all the time !!! Being at home will allow you to take vacation whenever you want !!! I say if you want to go for it ! Best of luck!!!
2007-08-23 05:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by mimi1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't see a problem with being a homemaker, children or not. I have know several wonderful women that were homemakers, but did not have children.
Some people may look down on you for it and think you are lazy, but only you know if you are being lazy or being a busy bee keeping the house in order. As long as you and your husband are happy, do what pleases you.
2007-08-23 05:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by gorgeous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you can do that and not worry about anything else than do it. But be careful, not having any financial stay in a marriage can be harmeful. If you honestly feel that your man will except you being home with only the house to maintain then jump at it. Who cares what others will say? They don't feed, cloth, or sleep with you! Find some hobby to do that's worth while so after you finish the duties you won't be twiddling your thumbs. i'm jealous:)
2007-08-23 05:37:32 · answer #11 · answered by Mekia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋