What would you do if your wife / husband was like this ....?

Question

1. They constantly accuse you of cheating (when you're not)
2. You discover that they have profiles on dating websites
3. You discover that they are still in love with an old flame
4. You are not able to be yourself around them
5. They text you to tell you that they're cheating
6. They tell you that you're crap in bed
7. They want a divorce after every argument
8. They suffer from mood swings

Please be honest and frank

Answer 1

Ill just tell you my thoughts as I read each line:
1. She is cheating on you.
2. Thats just WRONG, lifes too short to deal with that crap
3. She should have been honest so you didnt waste your time
4. Thats sad. Sh*ty way to live life
5. WTF?!
6. Get a divorce and find someone else!
7. Give her a f*cking divorce
8. Is she bipolar or something?
Bottom line, you need to get a divorce and move on, life is too short to live with someone that doesnt appreciate you or make you happy. Kick her to the curb! Also if you saved that text about her cheating, show it to your attorney! What a BI**H!

Answer 2

1. The person was probably cheated on in the past so give him/her many many many reassurances.
2. Starving for attention AND because of #1, thinks "if he / she can do it, then so can I". Again, give him/her all the attention they need with plenty of reassurances.
3. Perfectly normal especially when the other person chose not to continue with the relationship
4. I'm certain this is from #7 and #8. Once bitten twice shy...
5. Again, starving for attention and basically wanting you to get jealous.
6. I'm certain that this only occurs during an argument, if he/she really thought this they wouldn't be with you to begin with.
7. Back to #1, this person was hurt in the past and simply trying to protect themselves from future pain. "I'm going to end it on you before you end it on me."
8. Possibly a chemical imbalance or just plain human, depends on how often they occur along with other factors.

The bottom line is that this person has trust issues from a past relationship, suffers from an insecurity of some sort (never wanting to be wrong?) and might possibly have a slight chemical imbalance. I would look at the possibility of a thyroid or hypothalamus issue. This person may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder or depression (or both).

The good news is that ALL these symptoms are treatable and within 6 months of good, positive therapy everything could be turned around to the point where the relationship is healthy and manageable.

I would look for a behavioral therapist and a family counselor. You will each need to be in therapy separately and together at different times to avoid arguments, learn individually AND to learn to work as a TEAM (which is really what you too are)!

Answer 3

This is only the negative stuff...what about the good? Is there any good? Accusers are usually doing something they shouldn't. Profiles are just profiles unless there is action. You can't really choose who you love. Who are you trying to be? The texting thing and the crap in bed is just to be mean. The threat of divorce tells me that he/she thinks they made a mistake. Mood swings can be medically treated. Bottom line, relationships are complicated and hard work, if you love this person it might be all worth it.

Answer 4

I would pray. It's likely this person is trying to force you to be the one to break up. Maybe that person wants to keep the kids and making you break up will make you look guilty. Maybe that person wants to make you pay for something you're not even aware you're doing.

Learn about the 5 Love Languages. Check out Dr. James Dobson's book _Love Must Be Tough_. Get some counseling from a pastor or counselor who's dealt with tough marriages. Don't give up.

If this person eventually gets to the point that they ask you for a divorce and it's serious, I'd let him/her go. I'd be sure, however, that he/she is the one who initiates the divorce. And I'd immediately go to the child support office and ask them how to go about getting child support going -- if you let him/her keep the kids or if you keep them -- either way.

When you're respectful, responsible with your kids, and do your best for your marriage while you can, you will be able to bear the outcome knowing you are not guilty for it all, no matter what that person says. I'm praying for this situation. I hope it works out.

Answer 5

This is your side of the story, I would love to hear hers!
I would do anything to try to fix the relationship and would get marital therapy. The divorce rate in the USA is 50% and you should tale all measures to try to save your marriage. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. She might act like this because she is depressed, upset with you about something, is not sure that you love her, just wants your attention, wants to feel that she is more important to you than anybody in this world. Get a therapist and try to figure out why she is acting like this. If that doesn't work get a divorce, life is too short to be unhappy!

Answer 6

be and honest and frank not a preamble
i would dump the loser in a heart beat and find me a real man they want a divorce the next time we got into a argument i would hand him the divorce papers and tell them your crap in bed you don't make me happy that why i am cheating on you and i have mood swings because i have to deal with your crazy *** hit the road jack and don't come back hope that help you

Answer 7

This person probably suffers from Bipolar disorders and need to see a doctor. Until they do, do not get caught up in their mental disorder. Only respond to situation that make sense and don't even mention the ones that don't. Seek counseling for yourself and pray for the spouse, remain patient because a lot of times this person does not know they need help.

Answer 8

I would seriously confront them about it, and try to resolve the issues that you're having. If that doesnt work then you really need to start proceedings to end the relationship, cos at the end of the day you have to put number 1 first!

The kind of things shes been saying are not constructive and actually quite hateful.... Just remember to put u first!

Answer 9

I have been married twice. In my first marriage, my husband at the time accused me of cheating. It took me years to realize it was his own guilty conscious trying to tell me something. I NEVER EVER thought of cheating and his accusation drove me crazy for years until I figured it out. He had around 300 affairs over the years.

When I remarried my present husband talked to me about his wife who left him for another man, cheated on him during their marriage. His ex wife used to accuse him of cheating and he never ever envisioned the thought of cheating on her and he always wondered why she would say that.

My theory is their guilty conscious makes them say it or they figure they are cheating so you must be.

I would weigh all the plus and minuses of the marriage and make a decision immediately about whether I think it is worth spending a life time with this women. Only you can decide. I choose to leave him. He had a drinking problem. Does she?? This complicates issues even more. If she drinks ---I say leave!

Answer 10

Way past due for marriage counselling.... I would also encourage you to get his family physician to forward a referral to a therapist. It sounds like he has severe problems with trust...he may even be suffering from depression and do not know where to turn. Don't take it personal until you seek the help of a medical professional.