I Got Mad At My Wife Last Night, Was It Justified?

Question

My wife and I have had this long running dispute over her hugging and kissing other guys when we go out.

These aren't close friends just people that go to the same things we do.

She says she was brought up to give people a hug, but she also likes to kiss them on the cheek.

I said I don't mind the hugging part for ones we know better but lay off the kissing altogether.

To me that's only for family and really close friends.

What do others think, am I being too strict?

I know if I did it to other women she would be furious.

Answer 1

No way... I don't think you're over reacting!
It seems like it happens quite frequently... tell her you don't like it for once but also let her know for sure that you're not accepting this kind of behavior nor are you putting up with it... period... because she is being disrespectful to you and invading your manhood!
Be serious and honest with her.

You want to be happy with her not unhappy and feel left out.
Your woman/girl should never kiss and hug on other Guys like she is doing... that is unacceptable!

Maybe you can get her to talk and give her an Ultimatum that "it has to Stop" ....maybe you both should try to go to counseling?

One thing I can tell you from experience is, that you can try to work things out and bring it to her attention, but you can't change a person... it has to come from her and her only.
She has to realize in her heart that it's wrong what she is doing... which I hope she will for the sake of her marriage!
Best of Luck to ya :)

~ *5*Stars* ~

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Answer 2

Listen>>>I understand how you feel. I had a friend who I worked with that would go into a complete rage for no reason. I think she just wanted some attention. Because she would get so out of hand with her rage that everyone at work noticed. I think thats why she would do it. BUT this is your wife that you supposely have a relationship with. You can't just not talk to her. I've done that with my husband too( not talked) and it's really a childish way of behaving. It doesn't get anybody anywhere doing this. I try not to do it now because it's stupid. You need to talk to her more about how it makes you feel. It's possible she might have a anger problem that she might have to see a councelor for. I really don't know. Also it could be shes a controp freak and she knows she can intimidate you other other people by acting this way. I don't know what her problem is. But I do understand how you feel. But not talking to her isn't going to teach her anything. Sit and talk with her and tell her from the heart how it really makes you feel. And if it doesn't stop, that your marriage may be on the line in the near future because your not going to put up with this kind of behavior anymore. good luck

Answer 3

I dont think you are being strict enough.
I mean she knows that this is something that she wouldnt accept from you so why is it good enough for her to do it? Sounds like she is a hypocrite.
Also she is married to you and hugs and kisses should be shared between husband & wife only.
If I were you I would tell her that there will be no more going out if her behaviour doesnt improve.
Actually to be honest if she knows that it upsets you and still does it you should also ask her why she has a need to hurt you in this way. Good luck

Answer 4

Man I think you are correct in you thinking. You are not forbidding her to do it so you are not being strict first of all. I know I would not want my wife going up to a stranger and hugging and kissing them. Don't care if it's on the cheek or not. That display of affection should be for real close friends and family. And the second point, if it is alright for her because it means nothing then why would it not be alright for you?

Answer 5

i think you are entitled to your feelings, but you should consider her upbringing. is her family affectionate like that in general? if you notice that her mothers, sisters, and other family members behave the same way when greeting mere acquaintances, then it is just something that is comfortable to her because of her upbringing. if that's the case, you should try to be more understanding, since she is also entitled to her feelings. try to explain to her how those greetings make you feel. don't make accusations or talk about her, just talk about you and how it makes you feel. don't talk about it in public or right after it has happened. talk about it once you are home and have had time to get over the initial upset. remain calm and listen. by the way, unless you consider this a "marrige ender" or "deal breaker" then it might be something you should just get over.

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Answer 6

IF she tells you she would be furious if you kiss other women on the cheek then you are not wrong. If she doesn't mind then I think you are way too touchy. She would be too but if you both feel the same way then there should be no lip to cheek action.

Answer 7

I can understand that she was brought up that way but she should understand that the kissing part bothers you. I say if it's not family than why can't she compromise and quit the kissing part.

You have a right to be upset about it.

Answer 8

I don't think you're over reacting. I totally understand where you're coming from. I would be ok with the hugging, too, but the kissing, even on the cheek, is not cool. Ask her to tell you honestly how she would feel if it were the other way around.

Answer 9

Well let me propose a question to you.. was she like this BEFORE you married her? If so then you were SORT OF forewarned... but if it's creating a rift then perhaps if you talk to her calmly and rationally.. explain to her that it makes you uncomfortable. Politely ask her if she would mind cutting the kissing as a favor for you. Then to make it fair ask if there is something that you do that makes her uncomfortable. Make it sort of like a trade off. That would be fair.

Answer 10

You're in the right for this one. Now if she is from let us say France then it would be what EVERYONE does, but that doesn't sound like the case here.

I would tell her either she respects you enough to stop kissing these guys or you're going to start kissing the girls.