My girfriend and I have been dating since last X-mas but, at the time she just got seperated from her x-husband. I didnt know at the time that she was married but finally told me that she just got legal seperation.
Now, she has brought up my name to her mother and family(a few days ago). I have never met them but, spoke to her older sister once over the phone.
Now, I feel that they don't like me because they think I'm the reason for their seperation. But, in actuality I had no hands in it at all. She has told that I had no part in their seperation because I didnt even exist at the time.
Her x-husband is a close family friend and of course favored by the family. Well, the situation just made me look really bad and i don't know what to do with her family. They are very conservative (chinese) people who basically made up their minds and most likely cannot be changed.
I need advice on how to deal with this type of situation please.
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE.
2007-08-23 04:30:14 · 10 answers · asked by Cerealkiller 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be civil and the bigger person when you are together with them. Limit the amount of time you spend with them, such as not going to every family dinner and choosing which ones you will attend. Talk to your girlfriend and explain to her how you feel and hopefully she will be understanding about you not being at every family get together. When you are with them, change the topic if they start to get too intrusive and if need be walk away to another room and talk with some one you get along with. If all else fails, play with the kids all night and avoid the adults.
2007-08-23 04:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, I had the same problem with my husbands family. They thought I took him away from them. I know at the time we got married they didn't like me. I don't even think his mother like me that much. But the only thing that mattered at the time was the love we had for each other. We've been married for 7 years now. His mother, father and I get along very well. I'm still having problems with his other family members. I go to family functions when I feel like it, they smile in my face and talk behind my back, but it doesn't bother me a bit. You know why? Because the love I have for my hubby will never change no matter how they feel about me and that is the honest truth!
2007-08-23 04:54:02 · answer #2 · answered by asweetreat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to meet her family and to be very kind and understating. Here is an example of what to say.
"It is very nice to meet you. I have heard so many nice things about you. I'm glad to finally meet you. Although I have only been seeing your daughter since January I feel like we are very close. Your daughter is a wonderful woman and I can see that you raised her right."
If you mention the month then they will understand that you came into the picture after the divorce.
Good luck
2007-08-23 04:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by heartzablaze215 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she was already keeping a huge secret from you. I would not stay if she was not truthful about being married. It's to the point were here family is pissed off so she had to have done some wrong if she feels like she can't be honest to you what else is she hiding? Why did she break it off with her husband, you can't ask her you have to find a neutral party so its not hugely one side, good luck with that one.
2007-08-23 05:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by YANI S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have an answer other then lot's of time. My fiance's sisters (no parents alive) were very cold to me for 2 years and they HATED her ex. They were just, in their own way, trying to protect her from another hurtful situation.
Good luck. Just one thing. If you have to be together with them on occasion just suck up whatever they dish out. Don't get into arguments or fights then they may never come around.
2007-08-23 04:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by tamarack58 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend should have been honest with you from the begining. Now all you can do is try to win over the family by being a good boyfriend and always being polite and respectful to them. Good luck.
2007-08-23 04:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to come in to the family too strongly.
Stay on the outskirts and let them get to know you better.
Her ex still has a place in their hearts and you can't deny them that.
If you stay with this woman time will take care of everything.....just be patient.
2007-08-23 04:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its just a bad situation dude... the family is most likely pissed at her for separating from a husband the family was fond of...
I can relate cos my bf's family dislikes likes me and love his ex... its just terrible you know
your gf knows what a shitty situation it is ... so if you and her are serious ..... "time" is on your side.... just give her family all the time they need... but it may take forever... meanwhile just stay away without being rude
2007-08-23 04:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by smilingontime 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they already have a set opinion about you, nothing you do is going to change that. I would personally never go see them or deal with them at all. My mother in law hates me and I hate her therefore, I refuse to deal with her, simple as that
2007-08-23 04:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hate them in secrecy just try and act polite when face to face with them
2007-08-23 04:36:13 · answer #10 · answered by xunionjackxx 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋