i am fearful from the future,from financial problems that might occur,i don't want my future wife to feel betrayed ,don't want her to hate me for money problems,i want her to live comfortably and happy with me and not in misery,i love this girl,should i marry or not?
what shall i do?
please serious answers
2007-08-23 03:59:22 · 72 answers · asked by dan d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you love her...then yes.
finaincial problems as well as other problems are for the TWO of you to work through once your married. They are not one person's burden to bare.
2007-08-23 04:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Straighten out your trajectory before you marry. Tell her what you're doing and what your intentions are. Pay off debts and get it all straight.
It doesn't matter if you have a billion dollars of debt, always start an investment or savings account. Money saved is like self-esteem points. It also, over 30 or 40 years of compounding, adds up to a lot more than some temporary debts. Save 25% of your income starting right now. Never touch that.
Then take 25% and pay off every debt you can. Learn to live on the 50% remaining. Absolutely no toys or rewards until you've reached a milestone goal. Make up a very business-like plan and even make a chart. Make her a big part of what you're doing and ask her to help. If you get engaged, make it a small, affordable ring. Show her with everything in your wardrobe, in your car choice, in your lifestyle that you are serious about getting your financial world in order.
You can do it.
2007-08-23 04:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by CHARLES T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you told her that you are struggling financially right now? are you engaged? if so.............
i'm going to tell you that, you have to get out all of your finances, bills and other things and sit down with her and explain what is going on......
i had a boyfriend who pretended he was financially set, and even pretended he was looking to buy another house... about 6 months later his utilities were being shut off, his house was going into foreclosure. mostly it was because he just doesn't bother to pay his bills and has NO integrity, but believe me when is say i didn't like the lies and surprises!!! i hated him for lying, and trying to "REEL ME IN" by pretending to be someone he wasn't!!! and the truth is, i told him ALL ABOUT ME.. and my life issues, etc. i gave him a choice, to take me or leave me with the truth.
anyway, letting your girlfriend know exactly where you stand financially will give her a choice.... and it will make you look honest and sincere as well!
you can also discuss your ambitions and whatever plans you may have for the future to improve things, or not.
if she is going to be working, then, that might help out some? of course that is personal between the two of you.
i think being up front and honest is the best thing you can do. if she loves you, and is accepting she will likely be willing to work together toward changes and a better financial future.
finances and the way you expect to live day-to-day, future plans, are very critical and important to discuss before marriage, anyway.
2007-08-23 04:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man.. It's good that you think of the girl before you.. The best thing to do now, what i suggest is... You and the girl you wanna marry sit together (if you want) and discuss about the future.. This will help you get rid of those problem and misunderstanding you might have to face it in the future.. Marriage is something which is very important in every persons life.. Get yourself financially stable first and than think of getting married.. Somehow, whether we like it or not; Money decides most of the thing in everyone's life.. So plan carefully and wisely.. Good luck for your future!!!
Regards
FiC!!!
2007-08-23 04:14:58 · answer #4 · answered by thoufic r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're that insecure about your ability handle your financial, run around on your future wife, and provide a comfortable life style. Stop pondering about marriage. Misery will come into any relationship good or bad ones, there is no way to prevent Misery...that is the bottom line. first you must know how to handle your own money situation, know when and not to spend. And she should be online with you on that issues. What do you know about her spending habits? You have to be secure about yourself and what you're want in life. Marriage, two people must work together on a continue basis to make it work.
2007-08-23 04:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you then it wouldn't matter. Everyone has money problems at one point in there life. Money doesn't buy love or happiness, remember that. You can be married and living in a shack and your wife still love you.
My husband and I have had money problems from day one, he has frequently been out of a job so i am the one supporting us but i still love him with all my heart. It does not make me love him any less. Of course, i get stressed and frustrated but it has never made me change the way i feel about him!
So just relax, quite thinking about all the what if's and take chances, you need a little risk in your life!
2007-08-23 05:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand. Do you have a financial problem already? Are you in great debt? Is there hope you can clear in not too long a future? What does your girl do for a living? Does she work? Can she help out with clearing your debt sooner, so you guys can start making more concrete plans with your lives? If the answer is yes, then yes you can go ahead and marry her. Best of luck.
2007-08-23 04:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by Hmmm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are worried about in this way shows that you love her. This is a question that only you can answer. If you truly love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her then yes you should marry her, but if you have any doubts then you should wait. Every marriage has money problems at one point or another so don't let that be your reason.
Good Luck!
2007-08-23 04:04:02 · answer #8 · answered by Leslie G 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should start by having better communication between you and your girl. Is she expecting you to carry the whole load, be the sole provider, and not have to put her half in the mix? That is unrealistic in this world, and not a fair and equal partnership. It wouldn't matter if you had a million dollars in the bank, sh*t happens and its for BOTH of you to come together and overcome any obstacles. If you think that she will leave you, make you feel responsible because SHE is miserable, or make you feel small for any of the every day issues that happen in a marriage, then she is not for you.
Marriage is a partnership, no one person gets to drive all the time. Marriage is work, it doesn't just magically happen and everything works. 2 people working to make a life together awesome.
2007-08-23 04:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by frameliner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her you should ask her to marry you. You can't predict the future and if you live your life in fear of it then you will miss out on some of the greatest experiences of your life. It might be hard from time to time, but that is what life is all about. Nothing in life comes up roses all the time. As long as you both are employed and able to pay the bills you should be fine. Some of my happiest memories are things we did when we had no money. :)
2007-08-23 04:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by princessannie122 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Explain your fears which by the way are completely normal. I really don't think that after you talk to her she will have a problem with marrying you. Not a lot of people have 100% financial security for life and despite that go on to have quite happy relationships.
2007-08-23 04:05:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋