asking someone to pay back a loan?

Question

me and my husband recently loaned his brother 700 dollards b/c even though they are 28 and we are 23 they didn't spend within their means and were behind on bills b/c of not balancing their checkbook. their parents said no claiming they had no money which is a lie and trying to be supportive of my husbands love for his brother i agreed. we lent them this money in april and asked for the 1st payment in june and to be paid 100 dollars every other month allowint them 2 months to get on their feet and a yr to pay it off. it's now the end of sug and payment number 2 and we've recieved nothing from them then they said they had the wornd address and the check got sent back so we gave them our address over 3wks go and nothing. my question is that this was a quiet way to help them an no one knows and my husband got mad about him not showing any priority to attempt to even send 5 dollars and now he's saying he'll ask only when we need the money isn't it more about respect to pay it back and

what should i do should i ask about the money or just nag him til he does or let it go? and if they have no money shouldn't they not be going out to eat or buying extra things when that's what started this?! i don't want to upset my husband or push him too far what should i do should i ask w/o him knowing or keeping bringing it up?

Answer 1

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Unfortunately, you, personally, are in a no-win situation with this one. Although you are 100% right in thinking that their first priority should be repaying the money and not just going along, living their normal lifestyle, you don't want to come between your husband and his brother. No matter how badly they have behaved, you will just end up looking like a b*tch.

It seems pretty clear that your brother-in-law and his wife are never going to pay back the money. You should just get used to that idea and never lend them anything ever again.

If they were more responsible with money, they would never have had to borrow from you to begin with. If they were irresponsible but learned their lesson, you would never have to ask them to repay; they would just do it. Clearly, they were irresponsible with their own money and now they're being irresponsible with yours. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and a comparatively cheap one at that. $700 is a lot of money, but I guess it's not the end of the world for you or your husband would be more adamant about getting it back by now.

It's too bad, but the best thing you can do, for the well-being of your own marriage is to leave it alone. You'll never get the money, but it's also the last time you'll loan money to the deadbeats.
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Answer 2

Sorry your husband's brother is a bum but this may just need to be written off as a learning experience. At least in the future if they have a desperate need for money and come to you for a loan you have the perfect excuse never to loan them another cent. Instead of saying you don't have the money like the inlaws you can simply say no, you didn't pay back the last loan yet.
If you want to try to collect it send them statements with interest every month. For birthdays and Christmas send them a note saying you gave them a forgiveness of $25 of the amount due and deduct it from the next statement.

Answer 3

Your husband needs to go and have a good heart to heart talk with his brother. Obviously he is being irresponsible (the brother) Maybe try to get him to pay just $25 / month.

In your minds, just write the money off, chalk it up to a bad experience. Don't count on getting it back. This guy is family and $700 is not much for stupid tax. I've paid much more.

Don't lend him money again though. Obviously your brother and his wife have no self control issues. It's sad, but that's reality.

You and your husband (even though you have it together) should do one of these 10 to 12 week Bible studies about money. This issue is covered there also.

http://www.daveramsey.com
http://www.crown.org

Try, try hard to get the brother-in-law and wife to go to. Good luck, fools are hard to pull away from their folloy.

Answer 4

yes he should pay it back out of respect or at least try to if you nag him for the money it will cause problems with you and your husband..sounds to me you just got a $700.00 lesson on loaning money ...i did a long time ago the same way but mine was only $100.00 never got it back yet and i am sure i will never will been over 5 years now i don't loan anyone over $10.00 at a time

Answer 5

I am not sure about the family relation levels in the US, but for us in India it is quite great. Usually the men are attached to their siblings very much and as a Indian family person I would feel offended. But let alone the family bonding, first please assess the need for this money. If you feel that this 700$ is going to help you, please open this issue with your husband and ask his opinion what he felt and take a decision. It is better to be Open and frank and based on his opinion please assess and take the right decision.

Answer 6

File a suit