My husband has recently started frequenting a strip club for the first time in his life (he is 23). We just moved to a town where literally the only place here to "go out" is this strip club. I know he is not cheating on me because he has before and I know the signs. He enjoys going out and has told me I can go with him to "check it out" and see that there really is nothing that bad going on there. He really does not give the stippers much money, and basically he only buys drinks and admission in. This whole thing upsets me and he understands that, however I also understand that he has never been and probably never will be the type of guy who can sit in the house and watch tv everynight. We have an appointment next week for marriage counseling and do not believe in divorce. Any suggesions?
2007-08-23 03:13:45 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go with him and take a look at what goes on there... you two will have to work this out based on your own comfort levels... all I will say is this, your man is 23, not 46. It is a little too early in his life for you to think that he is not "this kind of a guy, or that kind of a guy". You are his wife and you get to have a say in what "kind" of man he will become. Good luck.
Hey, it seems folks don't agree with my opinion... if you let him go to strip clubs he may go from a guy who "can't sit in front of a TV", to being a guy that "Can't not cheat on his wife", or can't compromise in his marriage. No one gets to do everything they want... he should find a hobby that does not upset his wife or involve the adult industry.
2007-08-23 03:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Going out with the guys is not bad, but he needs to go out somewhere other than a strip club. You said he has cheated before,, nothing more tempting or making a man's mind wander than a stripper. If he really loves you, he will quit the strip clubs. I know there are easy women (and men) at bars, so if he wants drinks, he needs to go somewhere there are not a bunch of h#$%^y women around. Start your own strip club at home, hubby can have his own private stripper.
2007-08-23 03:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Myself, I think when a husband goes to strip clubs it is the most disrespectful thing he can do to his wife.If my hubby did this I would be so upset and concerned. How would your husband feel if you went to a male strip club for enjoyment? Your husband needs to know that this kind of behaviour isn't helping your marriage and will only upset your relationship worse. If he loves you then he should think about your feelings and try and find more productive outings to fulfil his needs. Going to strip bars drinking and flirting with strippers is asking for a divorce. Your marriage counsellor will point of this very misleading bad habit of his. Tell your husband to straighten out and spend his free time with you or hit the road. You deserve better than this! Be firm and don't settle for less. Cocoa
2007-08-23 03:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by cocoa 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
OK i believe you guys should be open to each other tell him your thoughts and how you feel of him going there ...lay the cards on the table,counseling is another option because he seems to be gutting hooked-up with the strip thing which in near future wont be that good in your marriage....hi and pliz just that he cheated you and you learned reading the signs think again he might have graduated and leaned to cover his tracks.
2007-08-23 03:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by kiukfrek 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest going with him one night. Open your mind, try it out. If you do not like it then maybe talk to him about only occasionally visiting strip clubs or let him do his thing and you go out with some girls to a strip club with men;) Seeing male strippers is always fun!
2007-08-23 04:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kasja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand the biology of the human species. Men are biologically polygamous and women are serially monogamous. Biologically he needs variety. That can be strip clubs, porn or the net in some manner or an affair. Our society has forced people into un-natural roles. For over 4000 years people were polygamous. That upstart religion 1000 years ago made it punishable by being boiled in oil. The human species has never recovered. Go with him to the club. It could be fun.
2007-08-23 04:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
tell him you will go with him and go see for yourself and join in his fun...then go back home and talk about it and see how it goes..nothing can happen at a strip club there is no touching or meetings....even tho you don't like it its still part of your life right now...most guys start going to strip clubs as soon as they are old enough to go...and it don't take long that they don't like wasting the money and don't go no more..you can see better looking and more sexy girls at the pool or beach and it don't cost nothing. so lighten up and it will pass...you and he talking and sharing will help and don't be closed minded to his needs and desires or it will never last...its give and take on both sides....talking and talking will help..being open and honest about things...then if it cant be resolved its time to move on....
2007-08-23 03:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well if you were me i tell you what i would do, while he's out in the strip joint letting a stripper bounce up and down on his crotch and dry humping him during a lap dance, if you were me i would be out bouncing up and down, and humping on another man, he's gets his jollies and so would i the secret to a good marriage is make sure you keep a even score.
2007-08-23 03:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to find some things to do together that do not include strip clubs! He is going there out of boredom. Either bored with you or bored with nothing else to do. Go Roller skating or bike riding or to a movie. Anything to get moving and out of the house.
2007-08-23 03:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
My guess is the novelty of this will wear off pretty quickly. Seems to me that strip clubs are only fun if you visit them on very infrequent occasions.
Its good that you are going to a counselor, but I wouldn't get too worried about the strip clubs unless it goes on for a long time.
2007-08-23 03:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋