Parents of teenagers?

Question

Do you allow your teenage daughter /son to have their boyfriend or girlfriend sleep in the bed together?? Some of my friends seem to think this kind of thing is ok and its no big deal. She allowed her 16 yr old daughters boyfriend to come along on vacation and they slept together in the same bed. Call me old fashion but I think this is crazy. Shouldnt the parents be teaching values, morality, etc.......

Opinions????

Answer 1

I agree with you, and I believe these parents are setting their daughter up for difficulties in the future, but they are the parents. They are responsible for their daughter, and if they choose to let her sleep in her bed with her boyfriend, it's their choice. You may voice your opinion to them, if you wish, but that's about it.

Answer 2

OH HELL NO! Ive raised 3 teens and they know where we stand(my wife & I) Im not dumb enough to think they would,nt do this sort of thing behind my back , but t,s important to take a stand on some issues and NEVER back down! I put my daughter on the pill @ 13 yrs "to regulate her periods" and made it clear that the pill would not protect her from aids,warts, herpys, you get the picture. This was not an O-K to have sex, letting her sleep with a boyfriend is saying you aporove of her new sex life,,Do you?

Answer 3

Well, my daughter doesn't have a boyfriend yet, but when she does i wouldn't let them sleep in the same bed or even room together, if I let it happen at all. He would have to sleep in my sons room or they can stay in the living room together, one on the couch and one in the recliner and when I get up if I see them together together, then I won't let it happen for some time, maybe 3 months or so.

Answer 4

That would depend completely and utterly on the teenagers in question.

When my boyfriend (a few years older, my parents like him a lot) stayed over, we could stay up all night in my room but we had to sleep in separate beds. However, I ended up falling asleep on him at about 4 AM. Finding your (fully clothed) daughter asleep on the chest of her (fully clothed) boyfriend, over the blankets, with the door to the room open, is hardly the worst thing in the world. They told me to get to bed earlier next time so we'd be apart, but that's it. We're also both night owls so when I'm at his house, we end up falling asleep on his bed. So far we're still both virgins.

My parents have told me they don't actually think we'd do anything but they separate us because they'd be bad parents if they didn't.

If I had kids, I'd do the same, just to avoid temptation.

However, if teenagers are going to be going at each other, they're smart and creative enough to do it somewhere besides their bedrooms.

The important thing is to teach them those values and morality while they're little, so they have a strong base when they're teenagers and nothing makes sense. Giving them responsibilities and some independence will also help one of the main reasons teenagers have sex: to prove that they are mature; adults in some way. Yeah, we're also horny but if we have some other indications that we're not kids anymore we won't do something that stupid and potentially permanently damaging.

The thing is, I truly think you're as capable of truly falling in love at 15 as you are at 18. If two people want to snuggle up and fall asleep, what's the big deal? My mom has said, "I hope you wait, but I know I can't stop you. If you decide to do it, you can ask me for birth control." They've raised me to respect myself, which means not jumping in bed with any horny boy and getting pregnant. If you're the kind of parent who tries to put a million restrictions on your kid, and acts like the minute he or she is alone with a member of the opposite sex, one of them is going to get syphillis, your kid is probably going to do it.
I can back that up from my own experience. I took an afterschool class at a museum where three things separated me from the other kids: I was the only one who didn't go to Catholic school, I was the only one with laid-back parents, and I was the only kid who had never had sex, done drugs, or had alcohol beyond what my parents have let me try. If everything in your house is always about sex, even forbidding it, your teenagers are going to pick up on that and obsess over it more than normal.

My parents give me a lot of freedom (I leave the house at 11 AM and don't come back until 10 on most days) and I think that's helped me keep my resolve strong.

Answer 5

im not a parent but when i still lived at home i was allowed to stay at my bfs house but when i was 16 at first my dad made my bf sleep in my brothers room but once we were together for 2 years and i was 18 he was allowed to sleep in my room but one of us had to sleep on the floor (not like things didn't happen b4 that ) but when i stayed at his house if his dad was home we had to sleep in different rooms but when it was just his mom we were allowed to sleep together my bf and i also took each other on vacation we were allowed to sleep together then cuz well our parents were right be sides us in either the hotel or in the camper also at that point my parents and his parents knew what we were doing and that i was on birth control ect....we are still together almost 4 years later and now live together so he can't say much lol


i don't think your old fashion because i know what happend when we slept in the same room or not and i know what happened when mom and dad went to sleep i think you should keep w/ that idea and when and if you allowed the bf to stay over make sure you keep checkin on them threw the night TRUST ME if you don't want to be a grandma any time soon....i would also talk to your teen about birthcontrol good luck

Answer 6

Hey im 14 n my parents wont even let me date til im 16 which sucks cuz i have a girlfriend i really like n im not allowed to hang out with her properly.
I think parents need to lighten up a little it would be so neat to be allowed to sleep in the same bed as my gf.

Answer 7

I have a 13-year-old stepson and a 12-year-old stepdaughter and there is NO WAY their girlfriends/boyfriends could spend the night and sleep in the same room. That is way out of line.

Answer 8

I'm sixteen and there are no boys allowed in my room even if my parents are sitting there starring at us and the guy is just a friend.My mother also wont let me go to a coed sleep over, or parties....


shes a bit strict sometimes...

Answer 9

That is f'ing CRAZY. A ticket to disaster.

I had relatives (more than one) who let theire teenagers live with the families of their bfs/gfs. Guess what?! The gfs got pregnant! I mean, who would've saw that coming? I'm being sarcastic.

Answer 10

Im a teen and i think its completly wrong...If you let them sleep together it is just an indirect way of telling them it is okay for them to haves sex. If yor teen is getting that message at that age imagine what other messgaes she may get in the future.