I have a friend who is a little upset with me right now because I tell her the truth as a real friend is supposed to do right? She is always complaining to me about her husband-she says:
he is lazy and won't clean up after himself-leaves hair in bathroom after her cuts his hair, makes dishes but leaves them in sink for her to wash, etc. He doesn't work-he says he is trying to get something of his own business started but in meantime he is doing nothing but making up excuses as to why he shouldn't work(he'll say how am i supposed to figure out how to start my own business if I'm working all day)-(mind you this has been going on for 2yrs now, I mean come on!!!) She works fulltime and has baby in daycare cause he is to lazy to look after THEIR BABY!!!!!!!!! She has to work, go get baby and tend to baby all night, cook, clean- EVERYTHING. Any errands-she does it-alone! She always asks my opinion but gets mad when I tell her she needs to change her situation and that he is using her.Agree?
2007-08-23 02:54:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't need answers about our friendship- but I need you alls opinion on her situation and what she should do? Thanks!
2007-08-23 02:55:19 · update #1
That's another thing elvlayarvvi: I'm glad you brought that up-I believe he may be simply because he doesn't even call her even to say hello-I mean she is at work all day and rarely even hears from him! Something is not right with that in my opinion.
2007-08-23 03:08:21 · update #2
Well until your friend gets tired and fed up, there is not much you can do. If she doesn't like your opinion ((b/c the truth hurts)) then she shouldn't keep sharing with you but no other person is going to provide her sympathy b/c it makes no sense for any one woman to have to do all of that. He is a grown man & your friend needs to learn to love herself and know that she is her husband's help meet, not his mom.
She is going to have to stand up to him. He has gotten lazy. My ex pulled that same stunt about wanting to start his own business & focus on that instead of grinding for a job. But you gotta have finances to do that & she simply can't be the bread winner and the finacee behind his business venture. Also, by him not even cleaning up after himself and watching THEIR child..He's sad..But she has to be the one to get tired. She has to be the one to say, hey..I can do all of this and a whole lot less by myself. She's actually doing the single parent thing while married. Her husband is a lazy, sorry excuse of a man/husband but until she decides she is fed up, all you can do is be a friend and keep feeding her the truth..She'll thank you for it later..but I think she's looking for sympathy but there is no excuse to accept this behavior.
2007-08-23 03:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I thought my friend wrote this question until I saw the baby part. Basically, I am in the EXACT same situation as your friend and have been living apart from my husband of only 1 month! due to health issues in our apartment. My best friend warned me about all of the stuff, he doesn't work either, he's lazy, all he does is lay around and drink with his friends and my dumb *** didn't want to admit that he wouldn't change and now look where I'm at. I'd hate to say it, she might be mad at you now, but she's mad because it's the truth and she is learning the hard way; she's going to burn herself out and run herself into the ground like I did (now have very serious kidney and blood infection) and guess what, I'm still working and what is he doing? sleeping. She'll open her eyes one day and she's going to be horrified, used and more alone than she ever has in her life before; there's nothing you can say "opinion" wise to change it, she's gonna do what she's gonna do and end up hurt in the end and there really is nothing you can do to stop it.
2007-08-23 03:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an excessively tidy, handy accomplice. But while he begins getting lazy I do little matters circular the condo that remind him it is a 50 - 50 attempt in retaining matters blank. Start washing simplest your youngster's and your garments. DO NOT WASH HIS If he leaves matters at the flooring, like jocks and socks in the toilet, towels at the ground. Chuck them in Bath (do not transfer them when you've got a bath) and conceal the towels. He will finally get ill of it and begin putting matters up. Start doing matters that simplest contain you and your youngster. Exclude him and nearly bully him.. you have got been disturbing approximately him for a long way too lengthy and forgotten what it is love to be in a loving dating. Start hiding his pot. If you spot it, chuck it for your vehicle or whatever, after which act as though you do not know in which it's. This probably somewhat of attempt however placed a password onto your web or laptop or cross wi-fi and conceal the modem, so he has no method of making use of it anymore, and when you've got foxtel, disconnect it. you have got a accountability to furnish a trustworthy and blank condo in your youngster, however you do not owe this man whatever and your no longer his mom so do not carry one finger for him anymore.
2016-09-05 11:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...this guy is a loser!!! =(... sigh... =(... I mean, putting the child in day care because he won't watch this child? that, is lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!! a couple of things she could do... leave the kid at home anyway, he will then have to watch the kid lol! and if he don't take care of the kid she can report him to child services...!!! or, she can quit, lol... then he will have to look for a job then... or, she can just leave... sigh... is he messing around on her while she is at work? she should find out, sigh =(...
2007-08-23 03:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No worries you have done your part as a friend. if she wants to listen to you then ok if not then thats her problem. she has to step up and become firm with her lazy husband because he needs to help her. Men need to work and bring food home. if he can't work then he needs to help around the house.
2007-08-23 04:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by riff@ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to be more patient with her. She is very hard headed and will need him to crap all over her a little longer before she comes to her senses.... This guy is such a creep it makes you wonder what spell he has on her!!!!
2007-08-23 03:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to change the situation, then she has no right or reason to complain about it. When she decides she's going to actually change her life, then she can tell you about it.
I'd tell her to quit complaining, unless she's going to take action.
2007-08-23 03:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you are doing all you can. One day she will snap. I know it is tough watch a friend get used but try to be there for her when she does lose it.
2007-08-23 03:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great friendship: a Busy Body and a Doormat. Where does Yahoo find these people?
2007-08-23 03:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, sounds like the both of them should go on Jerry Springer. People like this should never reproduce.
2007-08-23 03:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋