How can i explain to my mom...?

Question

I'm 13 years old (very mature for my age) and going into eighth grade. my mom won't let me have a boyfriend until I'm at least 16 (maybe older than that). how can i make her understand that I'm responsible enough to have a bf and still handle schoolwork, chores, babysitting, etc..?

i don't want it to be really serious. just group dates and stuff. and i'm against premarital sex so thats out of the question.

Answer 1

It really depends what you mean by 'boyfriend'? Your mum might be worried about you having underage sex and things like that, in which case, she is right to say 16. And I don't mean to disrespect you at all, but I'm yet to meet a 13-year-old who doesn't think they are very mature for their age. Saying this is not something that is going to make your mum change her mind. Also, bear in mind that she probably does trust you, but she doesn't know the types of boys you like, or what intentions they might have towards you.

Personally, I suspect that your mum is probably going to stick to this belief about you being older before you go out with a boy, but it doesn't hurt to bring up the subject with her. Tell her you'll bring the boy home for dinner and things like that, so she can get to know him. But in all seriousness, don't be in a rush to have a boyfriend, you're young and it's only a few years until you can make these choices for yourself. Take it from me, you should enjoy your childhood while you've still got it.

Hope this helps :).

Answer 2

I have a 12 year old boy and he "likes" certain girls and the girls call the house...but there's NO WAY he's allowed to "date". He's 12. Even at 13, 14, 15....16 there's more important things than bf and gf....for example...school. At this age you may think you are a mature 13, but I'm sure you're not. No 13 year old is mature enough to handle a boyfriend. You'd get a boyfriend and get all giddy and goo goo ga ga and that would be it for your school work and future. Kids tend to make stupid choices because they think they are in love. I was young when I noticed boys and wanted a boyfriend. I got involved at 15 with someone and he was the absolute WRONG someone...big loser. I wasted 6 years of my life with him and got pregnant...hence the 12 year old. If I could go back and do ONE thing over...it would be to forget boys and parties and what not and focus on school and school activities. I had plans to join the military and didn't because I got pregnant. I did go on to finish college, but the demands of being a mother took a toll on my school work. I graduated, but with a low GPA. When I decided I wanted to join the Air Force (as an officer), I couldn't because my GPA wasn't high enough. So set the boys aside and focus on what's important. You're too young for the hassle. Please don't be in such a hurry to grow up.

Answer 3

I think her biggest concern would be that she doesn't want you to get serious with someone at such a young age, but worrying about schoolwork, chores, etc also plays a part in the decision. Assure her that the two of you would be treating it more like a good friendship, rather than a relationship- which actually would be a better idea for now and that she has nothing to worry about. When I was in Jr. High people dated, but it ended up being more like going to the movies or hanging out at home or public places- not anything serious at that age- just fun!

Answer 4

You may think you are mature enough, but the fact is, you're not. No matter how fast or how slow you physically go, things are going to get serious, and they're going to get serious fast. And then, two, three years down the road, there's going to be only one thing you HAVEN'T done yet. and by that point, you will think you will be with him forever and that is when your sense of right and wrong is a little warped. Save the boyfriend thing for when you can actually handle what you would be getting yourself into. I know it's not the answer you were looking for, but it's the truth. In the mean time, just hang out with them as friends until you are 16.

Answer 5

Im 13 years old and have a boyfriend it not that serious but we like each other alot. My mom has been against it at times but when she see's how happy i am with him and how much i smile when i talk about him she dosent seem to mind. Have guyfriends and give you mom no reason not to trust you. Work your way up. Boy friends and group dates are alot of fun try to help your mom understand this without being rude or begging..Thats what i did

Answer 6

maybe your mom isnt worried so much about you and how your going to act, but about the boys. I have 5 boys. and they all would do something with a girl if they had the chance. I"ve heard them talk. so, your mom's probably just worried about someone taking advantage of you, and she loves you and is trying to look out for you. even if you dont understand that now, you will when you get older. maybe, just see a boyfriend a couple hours a day, visit at home sometimes, watch t.v together were your mother can get to know the boy. trust is a big thing here.

Answer 7

It's a hard one, as a Mum I know where your Mum is coming
from. Why not hang out in groups, have a bf but respect Mums wishes and always keep it to a few friends getting together. At 13 as grown up as you are you don't have life experience. If Mum sees over time that you have a special friend, one who respects both you and Mum, well maybe she will allow you more freedom together. Discuss it again with your Mum.

Answer 8

I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend until I was 16 either. Your mom is just looking out for your well-being. Thirteen is too young to be in a relationship with a boy. You don't need the pressures, worrying whether you should have sex, etc. Please enjoy your youth. You have years and years to have a boyfriend later in life.

Answer 9

start with the friend thing and then if you fall in love yoou can tell that to your mom and if she says no and you do it anyways it means you were really in love, anyways it might be that you'll find your true love a long time after 16. the being very mature for your age may be the thing that scares your mother the most.

Answer 10

you can prove all of the above by remaining responsible. doing well in school , keeping your sitting jobs , continuing to do all your chores. you are still very young don't rush growing up . having a relationship is a very big deal . it is not something you want to rush into. you still have many many years ahead of you in which to have boyfriends. in the meanwhile continue to keep many girlfriends. maybe your mom would consent to group dating. when you do all of the above.