Women: Why do we try tirelessly to make our husband's happy, especially when they won't?

Question

Are we trying to EARN their affection?

It seems that women will go to the end of their sanity to give their husband affection and joy, but the man will make little to no effort (sometimes negative effort) to give their wife affection. Maybe a man can answer this...maybe the women can affirm it?

Answer 1

Wow I could have written this myself. Everyday I feel like I have to prove myself to him... A marriage shouldn't work that way.

Answer 2

How long have you been married? Men get comfortable with you and don't try as hard as women to show affection. Some men don't like to be lovey dovey all the time.
My husband have our moments when we have our closeness and then there is days where I only get a kiss goodnight. He and I sometimes fuss about stuff like that but hardly ever do I complain. Cause I know he works hard at work and he don't want it all the time.And I just let him be. He knows where I am if he needs me and I know where he is if I need him. We give affection when we want it of just need it.

Answer 3

You don't generalize, not all women are doing what you say, and there exists lots of men who work as hard as women to hold on the commitment they did to their wifes or couples.

We don't know what's exactly going on with you, cause you don't tell us so much. What i can tell you is this, you will be able to be happy and really love your partner, when you love your self and find your own joys and satisfaction on life.

You won't be happy never, by making everything to make HIM happy, and you won't give him the happyness.

Maybe you are just doing so much effort about him, and not finding out what's really missing in your life, maybe you need to have some project or you need to realize the importance of your own activities, maybe you need to find the love for your self.

Really, the marriage is made by two, and your failure of your marriage is going to be shared, but maybe you are just asking for something that's not really important and that he won't be or be or do, because he is not like that. Maybe you are making a big deal on something that's not worth to.

Or maybe he really is doing things so bad, and hurting you so much that you shouldn't let him do it to you.

We don't know, you are the only one who can really judge that, and act in consecuence.

Answer 4

true, but my opinion is that the husband and wife should be giving one another 100% of themselves into the relationship, not just the wife. Men will be men. As usual they dont understand women and their emtions. Its like two different species. Remember your the dominant one in the relationship. All woman are, Anyone who can give birth to a 7 or 8 pound baby is naturally the leader. The men just bring home the bacon and satisfy the security's that some woman need. Give love to yourself and your husband, but mostly yourself first.

Answer 5

Men have the tendency to be misleading about how affectionate they're going to be long-term. Most don't mean to be misleading, and some aren't, it's the woman that became naggy and that curtailed his affectionate overtures.
But, when it is a case of a long-suffering wife of an unappreciative man, it is a very sad sight. Except with my own parents, I speak up when I see this.

Answer 6

Well, ifrst don't generalize, please. It's insulting and discouraging.
If you make it seem like you broadcast the little things looking for recognition, or even demand recognition, it's annoying.
I would say to just go on with your life, continue to do the little things that count. A good hubby will remember and appreciate them. You might not get it back as much, but when he does, he should do it with style.
With the little things, it should be how, not how much it's done

Answer 7

I don't have that problem, all a man needs is a clean home, hot meal and a hot piece of *** in the bedroom, i don't biotch , nag or complain and neither does he, i always get what i want and so does he we are a team and as his teammate i know the roll i must play to have a winning team and so does he.

Answer 8

Look back in history. Most of the cultures the woman has been subservient to the man. I don't subscribe to this belief. Unfortunately there are men still living in the dark age's. Most times it's taught to them by watching their fathers. other times it's just plain ignorant arrogants. They need to be educated to the fact in this day, and age women have just as much a right to be happy in the relationship.

Answer 9

Because wether we have the ring and the piece of paper or not once we're in the door we follow our commitments by being loving and trying to satisfy them , we tell them we will change when their unhappy even when we arent the problem , we ask them what we can do to change to suit them and the simple fact is they just dont care.

But god forbid you buck up and say hey buddy when are you going to make this marriage about "US" and not just about "You" man do they get mad .

Answer 10

Most husbands want respect more than affection. They're wired differently then we are. When they feel respected most men will bend over backwards to make their wife happy. Try thanking him for working hard at work or on a project around the house. Or just saying something like, "you know, I really respect you for being such a wonderful husband/ father/ hardworker (whatever he's good at).

Answer 11

Its a shame if your in that kind of relationship! It should be a two way street, everything your doing should be reciprocated its what makes a relationship successful. And this question is also judging others which is kind of harsh. All women don't do that, I sure don't and thankfully don't have to.