Does any of this sound familiar? (Yes, that's the question.)?

Question

"25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER"


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14 . My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU" !!!

Cranky - that's funny!

Answer 1

OH wow, Lady G, that was good! (And from a nice Christian lady like you?!)

Isn't it funny how all of our mothers seem to be that same person?

Answer 2

It sounds all too familiar, I Ioved it. They are the terms that I swore I would never use with my children, yet I did. The words would come out of mouth and I'd think, oh no I sound like my mother. There is another for number 16, my mother taught my about Anticipation, "just wait until your father gets home."

Answer 3

Thank You! That is a great way to start my day. What a wonderful piece, and so darn true! I love #25. My son who is 22 is the wish that came true for my mother. I must admit I am a repeat offender with #25. I tell my son that when he has his own children "I hope that you have 1 just like you". I am afraid wishing multiple children of the same personality would be a bit too much, even though we love him with all our hearts. He is our one and only, but I can truly relate.....AHH YES, The Good Old Days!

Answer 4

Of course it does. Believe it or not, woman, the mom, has always been the spiritual and moral torch bearer of mankind. Men just won't listen to their wisdom because it came from a woman, therefore it must not be macho. How silly men can be! Even so, many men, I'd guess about half, do carry moral and spiritual torches and can and are good examples to their kids. But MORE women are better examples.

Answer 5

Yes, Lady O, I also learned the same lessons in Logic, Forsight, Irony, Contortionism, anticipation, receiving, irony and roots. The stamina was the same for me, but it was peas, and No I did not eat them, and still haven't to this day.
There was also the "Because I'm your mother, and I said so".
I think we all came throught it, and are better, bcause of it.

Answer 6

She taught me 6 and 10. The underwear thing is definitely true.

A lot of the other things you listed are things I probably told my kids. Poor things.

Answer 7

Very...it sounds like something Eleanor Louise could write...and this sketch feels like they are arguing over something stupid, in spite of the shown fact that that's precisely what gay/bi human beings struggle by using by using fact that's not their selection..

Answer 8

My favorites were 7 and 13, not from my mother-FROM ME. Yes, I told them I hope
their kids give them the same hell as they did to me. Yep,
they are. Another favorite:
"I'm going to count to 3 and if
you don't stop that, we're going outside, and you know what THAT MEANS." So then the kid starts yelling,
"No mommie, don't beat me anymore."

Answer 9

This is just too good ! I can't really add anything to this list, I am still smarting from some of the memories :-) My mother did teach me that sleep disoreders were easily solved"
If you don't stop that, I'm gonna slap you to sleep!"

Answer 10

Just got a chance to read it....love it and thanks for the laughs. About #16...my mother always said "Just wait till your father gets home." Good Lord, I was on pins and needles all day and would just about die when I saw him coming home from work because I knew what was about to happen!