why are single mothers condemned?

Question

I've been browsing through some the Q&A on here and I'm disgusted with just how many ignorant people there are out there! If the father to a womans child has been violent or abusive they get told well u shouldnt have been dumb enough to get pregnant. Or if its a boyfriend who's left, it's well u should have waited until u got married! I have 2 children and I am single, my boyfriend was abusive towards me and I was with him for 7 years before we had our first child. He only started becoming abusive after our 2nd child was born, so I left him. I work part time and I'm studying for my degree in Law. So does this make me 'stupid', 'dumb', or just another statistic? Really before people make these cruel comments they should think that they don't know 100% of the story and definately shouldn't be so judgemental towards single mothers! A happy family is a happily contented one with 1 happy parent rather than 2 unhappy ones!!!

Kelley Anne, obviously your one of those who don't know the whole story and make assumptions. I'm sorry but as much as I would like to I can't tell you the 7 years of my life story on here, it doesn't give me enough space to do so. Anyway I take it ur no human psychologist because unfortunately he did become abusive after 7 years. Things that happen in ur life can affect u in different ways and at different stages in ur life! So before u tell me I chose that way of life I suggest u go and do some research on domestic violence!

Answer 1

i think, some people are so mean to others on here, because they don't see them face to face, they lash out and don't care who they hurt or destroy with their words....they think they are not held responsibile for how they treat others.......you can't treat people mean and not pay for it, or maybe something bad will happen to someone they really love.........some how the pay will find them !

Answer 2

I am a single mom of 2{grown} kids who have different dads. Well let me tell you I would rather be a single mom than an abused wife/gf. We are always the bad guy because men run the media, government and everything else. Now, I know some single dads too, my own for instance. Women are to be virginwhoars. I am proud of my strength, so should all single parents. I am proud of my sexuality and my abilities as a mother, friend, employee, artist and all of the other hats I wear! Fight on fellow single MOMS...we rock harder than any ol high maintenace do nothing but spend the $$$$ soccer mom! Maybe someday we will get the respect we DESERVE but until then, we must hold our heads high and teach our kids honesty, respect and understanding, who better than a single mom{or dad}

Answer 3

The ideal of society is still to bring children into the world in legal marriage and that children should live with two parents under the same roof. You have already made your bed by having your children in a shacking-up situation with an abusive boyfriend. If you were living in that kind of arrangement you probably should not have had kids in it. If people tell you you should have waited, it probably would have been a good idea, but all that is water under the bridge, you didn't and now you are trying to make the best of the situation.

People always tend to criticize things that make them look better than you and rather than seeing what you are doing to make a better life for you and your kids they just see what they think was mistakes you made in that past and point them out, it somehow makes them feel superior. You are in a position now to make a better life, but your kids still do not have a dad, that is reality. Statistics show that kids do better in a two-parent family. You are working, studying, and going to school. That doesn't leave a lot of time for your kids. But this is not a perfect world, is it? I say you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. You know that. So brush off the critics and go ahead with your program. You are not a welfare mother sitting home watching the soaps.

Answer 4

I am 100% on your side, I am was single mother 4 yrs until I met my fiance, My sons father and I were together for 2 yrs when I got pregnant and well he decide to do drugs and become an addict well then rigth before my son was born he became abusive and I left him I haven't heard from him seens and went back to school graduated and got a degree in child studies I am now pregnant with my second child and will be married as soon as she is born, I give an single mother nothing but best wishes and goodluck cause it is a very tough road to go down an be facing it alone.

Answer 5

I agree with you, I raised two boys all by myself except for the help I received from my parents. While raising my children I found myself stuck in a dead-end job most of the time struggling to get by. I managed to raise them both with no legal troubles to haunt me. But the fear of them getting into trouble because I was single was always there. Now I have managed to get a job in administrative. I'm not beating my head against the wall and I enjoy my freedom. I am still single but unlike before I don't get those feelings of being lonely and an underachiever. And as far as the people on this site, they are young and very much unexperienced, thats why they are harsh in their judgement. They've never had to walk that mile in our shoes.

Answer 6

My situation was similar, I was with my ex for six years. The first two were fine, we had a child, and then around the third year, he became controlling. It slowly elevated until it was full blown physical abuse. It hardly ever starts out that way, it just sadly ends up that way.

Answer 7

Better to be a single happy mom then in a broken family. I have a friend who is married for 25 yrs and all she can talk about how miserable she is. Husband is verbally abusive and now her boys are verbally abusive ( like the dad) to her. Good that you got out of a bad relationship and making the best of the situation. Your children will be better off for it.

Answer 8

i think single moms are great i was nearly one. but you know what you are right. you can pick yourself off dust yourself and get moving go to school and have your kids and take care of them if there is a man invloved get support and go it can be done its just alot of work and ambition.

Answer 9

I agree with you...I think guys are just afraid..mom's deserve the most respect, they've had kids, they're ready to settle..There are some moms who use their children to their advantage and shame on them...It's hard for a guy to accept a "built in" family cuz they feel that they can't have their own then...to each his own I guess..but good luck to you!!

Answer 10

I agree 100% with you . single moms are great . I was a single mom for a long time . I finally found a decent guy after 12 yrs of being single . my kids are now grown and they are very well adjusted and successfull . good luck to you .