Why my hubby wouldnt be able to ejaculate when we had sex?

Question

We have been married for almost 7 years. We have a daughter 3years ago. Since then whenever we have sex he has problem ejaculating. However he is able to ejaculate if he masturbate. Is it my problem? He did go into the delivery room when I gave birth to our daughter. Is it a kind of side effect because he saw the whole process or natural birth? Confused and worried.

Answer 1

I know that this sounds weird but this had happend to me. It's a problem that occours from several different scenarios.

1. I was under stress and my mind was'nt in the right place and the pressure was on when my wife was expecting me to ***.
2. I took hydroxy cut 24hr for a while and it seemed that I could go forever and cumming was great but it took me alot longer to do.
3. when my wife was cumming she expected me to *** and that kind of started a "stagefright" that worsened the problem for me and made my wife think that I was no making me feel good. So, it was a harder to perform.
4. Complaciantcy sometimes comes into play if you have the same routine and it affects the mans mind. He wants something new sometimes and if you are doing the same thing every time it gets boring for both of you and you wont try as hard for him and vice versa.

My personal solution that helped me was to spice up the relationship and be open if I was a little stressed out. It not only cleared up my mind but it also released some of the tension to perform. If I come home beat from work and the only thing I wanted to do was to get some rest. I just like my wife would sometimes not be in the mood. She would give me a night off and I would be ready to go the next night. We also spiced it up and lost the same boring routine. This doesn't mean to make it a threesome or anything crazy but if you do the same think everytime it becomes expected and boring; plain and simple. Get some candles spice up the mood wear something sexy sometimes instead of the old " granny panties"; I hate that type of underwear on my wife. It's a complete turn off and I have no urges at all. I like it when my wife wears lace or boyshorts or something that I wasn't expecting. This doesn't mean that you have to wear thongs all the time but right before you go to bed you might want to give him some hints of what you are wearing to start to get him in the mood and then move on from there. Also; kids destroy the mood. If you are overly involved in the kids then you are not giving enough attention to your husband he will not want you as much. Get the kid in bed or have a baby sitter and go out with him and make sure that all of your attention is on him. rev him up a little or suprise him with a overnight stay at a hotel and get down and dirty with out having to worry about your kid crying or waking up during mid stroke. I hope that this helps you. Good luck!

- Dave
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Answer 2

I think there may be a variety of things contributing to this problem.

There may be some psychological problems subconsciously as he sees you as a mother now and there is a whole pedestal kind of problem some men have with having sex to completion with a mother figure.

There may also be some physical explanation as the changes you went through during pregnancy may have affected the actual feeling of the act for him. For example:

- Did you incur any tears or stretching that might affect the amount of friction while having sex. If he is able to ejaculate through masturbation, he obviously can manage the proper friction on his own. Efforts on your part to strengthen certain muscles can help this situation, or changing positions may help.

- Did you (or he) gain excessive weight during pregnancy (and still have some of that weight)? Sometimes, besides the attraction factor, excessive weight can affect whether or not the penis has enough access to the vagina to provide adequate stimulation.

You do not in your question say whether the inability relates just to straight sexual intercourse or does he have the same problem during oral? You may want to mix up your routine and try some new techniques, positions, etc. Maybe you will trigger something that could be a breakthrough that you need.

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Honesty i do not think you have a problem...I know with my experiences when i could not ejaculate was 1 i had been masturbating alot or 2 we had gotten into a pattern to much so we spiced up our relationship by sharing our fantasies and doing it in different places and positions.(outside is really cool ) adding some sex toys was a good thing with us maybe that is something to look into, but do spice up things and good luck and enjoy!

Answer 4

If you are trying, its not your fault. the fact that he ejaculates with masturbation says nothing is physically wrong, that leaves a psychological problem on him. Maybe he has grown to prefer masturbation. Whatever, its only your problem by virtue of he is your husband. Get him to a Dr.

Answer 5

you probably wont feel the pre-*** but if he actually ejaculates you should be able to feel it. If you are new to this then you may not "be use to the feeling" yet or really know how it is suppose to feel until you practice more :)

Answer 6

no its nothing about that well it shouldent be but ya i have had the same problem with my girl friend it just means there is not enoupg sensation like not the write position or movement try ribbed condomes

Answer 7

just relax & don't think about that,,,,i think you should do some different action in different style & try to make him more & more & more crazy...maybe you have to be some one new in your sexual relation for him. you must make him understand that you want to make him feel better...

Answer 8

He is probably gay. Does he go out drinking with the guys after work?

Answer 9

sounds more psychological. he should be able to do that when you have sex if he can do that when he masturbates

Answer 10

Maybe he fakes it.