How would you deal with a situation like this?

Question

I''m still a 'newbie' on here, and I've mostly posted in the News category because I like current affairs and I assumed it would be a place to get different perspectives on issues.
What I've actually found in there is the most vicious set of people you could ever come into contact with. They're currently wearing their 'I am a bully T shirts' and actually having fun attacking another member who is caring for a terminally ill child. What I find all the more bewildering is that those participating all claim to be mothers themselves.
I don't know why I'm posting about it, other than I feel greatly upset by it, I've endured a lot of racism over the years and I suppose when I see another human being made fun of and her situation turned into a cause for humour I feel helpless, not only to say something helpful, but because I don't actually understand what drives people to act like rabid dogs
Any insight or advice would be appreciated

there's some nice answers here, thank you all. I have reported the most offensive question, sadly yahoo have decided to leave it there and yet issued violations to some of the posters who defended the lady and her child.
And these women participating are not teenagers, they happily tell us all they're 42, 53 round that age range. Teenagers you could forgive for their ignorance, women of this age there simply is no excuse
I adore the idea that it's George Bush's fault but I can't pin this sort of behaviour onto him, it rests squarely on the shoulders of the women writing the posts.
Hallie, she was never bullied because she didn't do anything to warrant it, those termites couldn't even find a legitimate reason so they targetted her for having an 'imperfect' child
Rosie ... are you not at a desk with pen and quill???

Answer 1

I was thinking about this last night actually - WHY are people acting like this these days. I hate to say this and I dont say it to be mean, but I believe its Bush politics that have made it not only OK but have encouraged people to attack anyone who is preceived as "different".

I know its being blamed on "young people" but given my recent experiences I am willing to bet the majority are peoples in their 40's and 50's.

Not too long ago I flew home from Shanghai aboard United Airlines, I have always flown China Air, China Eastern, Dragon Air, Air Canada or JAL when flying overseas.

I felt threatened, there was a air of complete hostilty towards me on that flight. I was like one lone Canadian on board and believe me it was the most unpleasant flight I have ever been on. You could feel the HATE all around you, even from the flight attendants.

People were openly and blatantly hostile, either they were nasty or if I talked to them looked at me as if I didnt exist, and didnt answer - and again these were people well over 40, some 60 something.

One flight attendant told me that Disablied people should NOT be traveling, and all I asked for was assistance with my luggage. I didnt ask for any other service from them.

The young woman sitting next to me did everything she could think of to make my flight as miserable as possible. I was flying back to Canada to have surgery and was extremely ill at the time. And she had been in China with a church group! How hypocritical and ignorant is that?

By the time I arrived in Canada I had been 30 hours without sleep thanks to the "compassion" of my co-passengers and flight attendants.

Having worked with different NGO's and charities I have also noticed the majority of Americans will NOT dontate to anything unless their dontation is staying in the US to help Americans. Even so-called "Christian charities".

I the past I have flown United from Minneaplois to Seattle, I have flown South Western, and other American airlines. And I have enjoyed visiting the US, the people I met there, everything about it.

But since 9/11 I find Americans have become very mean and nasty to anyone and everyone who isnt American. They have developed a bully attitude. And why not? Their leader is IMO a Phsychopath who has brainwashed his people to think like he does, attack or be attacked.

I want to clarify and say this is not by any means the case with ALL Americans, there are a few sites here that are great, Senior Citizens is one and you are welcome there no matter what your age - a number of young people appear to have taken refuge there.

Oh sure the odd troll wanders in but its been pretty good, Pets is another site where people are all acting normal, other than, again, the odd troll --

People with Disabilities was a really good site up until a few weeks ago. Interesting how these cowards travel in packs isnt it?

Traveling/Canada is pretty good other than one or two American trolls bashing Canada and all Canadians on there. If anyone retaliates they report them immediately for being "Anti American".

I dont want to offend the nice kind Americans I have met on Yahoo, and there are quite a few of those. I have an email correspondence with a few and it means a lot to me - my two best friends in real life are Amercians too.

There is a wonderful couple in Seattle who literally saved my life when I couldnt afford a ticker home from overseas because all my money had gone to pay medical expenses in Hong Kong and China - I had become septic and was probably going to die, because I had no money left to pay for surgery, and the school we were with had lied about having medical insurance. Truly Christian people.

But unfortunately, and it saddens me to say this, these people appear to be the minority in the US these days. And young people I believe mostly from the UK and probably Canada lash back at these hateful posts.

Welcome to people with Disabilities, the "real" people here wont bash you, or insult you. Makes you wonder who really is Disabled doesnt it?

Answer 2

What a horrid situation! It is really sad to know that so many people still think like this. Did the parents know that you are wiccan before she came to work there, or is your religion common knowledge at work? I am just shocked that she would be allowed to work with an "evil devil worshiper". If her parents are so brainwashed to tell their child that you are going to hex, or poison her I dont understand their letting her be in any contact with you. I really feel sorry for the girl in all this. She must be terrified of you! My suggestion is to simply leave things alone. Continue to act as you normally would if she were anyone else. Be nice, speak to her as you would any other co-worker. Perhaps she will see that you are not the demon her parents paint you to be. But if you try to talk to her about it, I am sure it will cause trouble. Thats a sure way for her to say that you are trying to "possess" her or some other nonsense. Bright Blessings

Answer 3

For what it's worth Nimrod, you and the person being slandered so horribly have my total support. Up until yesterday I have tried to calm things down when these nasty posts appeared but, I was so enraged when I saw that offensive post that I rushed in mob handed!

There is an atmosphere of fear on News and there are people who will not put this gang in their place because they fear violations and the loss of their account. I can't say I blame them really.

I suppose we will have to try and rise above it all, not get hurt or angry and treat these idiots with the contempt they deserve, preferably by ignoring them. I think that you, I and a few others have fe
d the trolls recently. I don't regret it though!

Answer 4

Get them on a violation because that is not right. It's amazing how people like that get picked on while the gays get babied. I feel sorry for your friend and if people are going to verbally bash her for caring for a ternamilly ill child then they shouldn't be on here and as for going on a gay site and asking the same question, they are not more sympathetic and they don't endure a lot of discrimination. They only say that to get what they want. Don't anyone violate me cause I did not call anyone any names. I am entitled to my opinion. Anyway. Straight people can be sympathetic too. Those claiming to be mothers have a lot to learn about humanity and their attitudes will rub off on their kids.

Answer 5

Some people like that have no life. If these are mothers they must feel that they are better than the mother caring for the sick child as they have healthy children or something. But there is another place that you can find other than this section for compassion...the LGBT section as they face discrimination and hatred in their own section everyday. I know because that is my fave section here as I am an avid support of gay rights. I hate it when people proclaiming that God hates the lgbt community is sick. But I know what you mean, there are a lot of really mean people on here and the best way to fight these people is to report them for violating community guidelines.

Answer 6

Some people just aren't happy unless they are belittling or in some other way making someone unhappy. It somehow makes them feel better about themselves. I can't even imagine what dull, unhappy lives they must have. The important thing to remember is; as personal as these attacks seem to be, they really aren't personal and to take them that way is self-defeating. Just consider the source and chock it up to ignorance. In the case of this woman, and other situations similar, it is always good for others of more sound minds, to reach out in friendship and give some encouraging words even if you don't know the answer to her question.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do, apart from report anything you find offensive.
Eden is a contact of mine, and I have been sickened by some of the posts I have read about her. One person went as far as claiming she was making it up. These are sick, twisted individuals who need to try and put themselves in her shoes for 5 minutes out of their selfish, me me me lives.
One "person" was even sick enough to suggest he fiddle with her child. The minds of these people are deeply disturbing. Then I post in defence, am told I am Eden under a different ID (I've been a member since March, check my profile, Eden wasn't being bullied in March because these termites hadn't crawled out of the woodwork then) and am told to grow up.
I try not to pay any attention to most of what the scum post, but when a child is involved, my defences are in over-load.

Answer 8

I've encountered the same thing. People attack what makes them feel most uncomfortable. On a message board you can say what you want and you don't have to look a person in the face to say it. The worst part of people comes out in some people. The bully's of yesterdays school playground are now the bullies on internet message boards. (And so are the ones who are bullying in retaliation for being bullied as children- they can bravely bully on a message board.)

Answer 9

You put your finger on the issue when you said they "wear 'I am a bully' T-shirts!"

But you do have a couple of things going on. One is simplly that you have some mean-spirited and immature (mostly teens, I think) who think their ugliness is somehow "cool."

But there are two othe raspects. One is that a lot of racists and other bigots use the anonymity of the Internet to vent their filth without having to takethe conequences (e.g. lost jobs and/or lost teeth) if they mouth off in front of decent people.

Finally--as a result of the highly polarized political atmosphere in America tese days, a lot of people--mostly but not entirely on the right--feel its "okay" to be vicious and unfair in their comments. Expect that to get worse--a lot worse--the closer we get to Novembr 2008.

But the bottom line is these people are bullies--and cowards. They haven't the guts to act like this anywhere they wwould be identified. But there are a lot of people who do want to discuss the issues--you just have to fish them out of the stream of postings. And--to be fair--you do have to look closely. A lot of apparently harsh posts are responses to these jerk's lies and smears--and a lot of people (including myself) don't waste effort trying to be polite to such bullies.

Answer 10

How would you deal with a situation like this?

I would answer questions I want to answer, ask questions I want to ask, and if I did not enjoy being on the yahoo site I would leave.
its a simple choice.

If i was the carer of the terminally ill child, a few stupid remarks on yahoo would be insignificant, when compared to the full reality I was living with.