we want children.we've tried a few times & both times i had a misscarriage..it hurt so bad should we try again

Question

i just... i duno it hurt so bad. it killed me both times and i know it killed hhim... we want at least one child of our own... but i dont know if we can take another heart break...on the other hand this time could be the time it works...

it just killed me to tell him that the thing he wants more than anything was gone while he was getting the babies room and everything ready... i cant do that to him again...

Answer 1

I know the feeling hun, it hurts really bad every time it happens. I had three and at some point I just didn't want to put myself or my husband through that pain again. But we kept trying, and eventually I did get pregnant (against all odds) and I'm now 36 weeks pregnant with my first - so it does happen.

Don't give up, I know you want to, especially with all the thoughts running through your head after every m/c - at some point I blamed myself for 'killing' my babies. But some therapy and a very good doctor helped me through that and made me understand that even if I do keep trying, it doesn't mean I deliberately kill babies. It's just nature's way - I know it's harsh but it's true. More pregnancies end up in miscarriages than we will ever know, most of us just never realise we're going through a miscarriage as it presents itself as a very heavy period 9/10 times.

Wait a few months until you've healed completely (psychologically I mean) and then start trying again. Just give yourself and your husband some time.

And it WILL happen for you when the time is right.

Answer 2

I can't imagine your pain and the strength you had to muster to overcome such an ordeal. I'm not sure the cause of your miscarriages, but I hope they can figure that out so you can prevent it if that's possible. I would definitely hope to try again bc/ you must think of the reward - even through the excruciating pain - what a huge amount of joy you will have if you are able to carry a pregnancy full-term wo/ miscarriage. Your love would be bigger than most parents' I know and that would be a wonderful gift. If you aren't able to have children though, consider adoption - this way, you are using your pain and turning it into something good for another little one who needs a loving home.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry that you've experienced this heart ache.
My sister had 2 miscarriages which was devastating to her and her husband. They didn't necessarily try but they just delivered her healthy baby girl 6 weeks ago.

Check with your doctor about what health improvements you could do. My sister began to take care of herself by eating healthier and exercising. I'm not sure if you are spiritual but praying may lead to a blessing to you and your family.

Don't give up! It is heartbreaking but depending if the doctor says you are healthy enough to bear a child...then you can try again. Stress can cause miscarriages so lowering your stress can also help.

Good luck to you and your husband!

Answer 4

Try again, you know what they say 3rd times the charm:) If it's a m/c 3 times in a row you can keep trying or there's also adoption or sperm implants.

I know how you feel my aunt can't have kids at all "ever".
And she wanted a daughter & son.
She said if she would've had a daughter it would've been me:) Because we can talk to each other about anything, and we're really close. Even closer than I am to my own mom:|

If u need 2 tlk here's my email
[e-mail]

Answer 5

its understandable why you would want one of your own thats y it makes me mad when stupid people on here talk about getting abortions. They dont realize how much of a miracle having a baby is. First off you should talk to your doc to see if there is anything wrong that is making ou miscarry if nothing is wrong then go for it. You will ever know unless you try. And relax to stress like this is not good on the body. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I miscarried twice before giving birth the next year, and again 2 years later. Most people don't set up the nursery until way into a pregnancy. God bless you and happy baby wishes!!!!

Answer 7

my wife has had two miscarriages also...one in march (at 8 weeks) and one last month 22nd july (at 4 weeks)....now we're pregnant again...just found out on Monday....we're really scared too but silly as this sounds we're blocking it out...pretending like she's not...if you know what i mean...yes, she's taking her folic acid and yes she's made a doc's appointment for tues but we can't let ourselves get excited again - as much as we want to...hopefully all will be ok this time...docs told us that it is REALLY common..a friend of mine who is a doc is disgusted that miscarriage isn't more talked about openly..women always feel loike they are the only one it's happened to...i say don't give up..try again..when you're ready to deal with it..if it's meant to happen it will...i genuinely hope all works out for you and I'm sorry for your losses...

Answer 8

There's always adoption. But since you want child of your own, you could have a friend carry the child for you. The friend would take your egg and his sperm and that would be artificially inseminated.

Answer 9

i have 3 beautiful living children, and m/c 5 times , and still born twins...........................

I know it hurts and its heart breaking. Do you have any idea what caused you to m/c ? Talk to your dr and try again if its really something you want....... I am so thankful for my children !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Email me or IM me if u need to talk, I do understand !!!!!!

Answer 10

If at first you dont succeed try, try again. I will work itself out. I will be praying for you.