needy husband?

Question

My husband is very needy and emotional. He's very attached to me, doesn't even communicate with his family and has no friends. I try to encourage him to call his family and make friends at work but it doesn't help. He want's to know what I'm doing at all times and expects me to spend all my time with him even though there are times I'd like to be alone with friends and other family for bonding or whatever. Before we married and we were fighting I'd talked of leaving but he wouldn't let me leave the apptment, he blocked the exits and told me he wouldn't move and that I couldn't leave him. I'd threatened to call the police but he'd cry and beg and say he couldn't live without me so I'd cave. I'm not sure what I should do now. He's my husband I can't just abandon him. I want him to not be so dependent on me.

CALLME: Your answer is disturbing and doesn't make sense.

Answer 1

"He's my husband I can't just abandon him." No, you cannot, but any smart normal woman would run, not walk from that relationship.

You are just another woman that loves to be abused and so you makes excuses for staying with your husband. Then you seek sympathy. If you are going to put up with a jealous controlling husband, I'm not going to give you sympathy. You don't deserve it; you haven't earned it.

Maybe he hasn't started hitting you, but he going to and you will put up with and seek sympathy. Either leave your husband now or when he puts you in the hospital, don't come crying to me for sympathy. I have lost all patience with you psycho women. There is big difference jealousy and love and you psychos want to call jealousy love.

Jealousy Versus Love

Love is good. Jealousy is evil.

Men that love their wives and girlfriends don’t expect perfection. Jealous men think of their lovers as possessions and not as independent people and go into a rage over any imperfection.

Love is trust. Jealousy is suspicion.

Men that love have confidence and high self-esteem. Jealous men are envious and lack of self worth.

Love is warm, tender and compassionate. Jealousy is rage.

Love is forgiving. Jealousy is unforgiving.

Men that love will lift their wives and lovers to the sky and give them freedom to be all that they can be. Jealous men control and confine, and will pull down their wives and girlfriends to their level and trample them under their feet. As a result, women that are loved will try to live up to expectations. Wives and lovers, who are belittled, spied on, questioned, denied privacy, and subjected to constant defamation and accusations, tend to live down to the suspicions of jealous men. After all, how can a wife maintain any self-esteem in those circumstances?

Love gives the confidence and self-assurance for men to have pride when other men show attention and admiration toward their wives and lovers. Jealous men are fearful and envious of the same admiration.

Men that love will risk their lives to protect their wives from any real harm. Jealous men will beat their wives and threaten other men over imaginary fears.

Answer 2

You sound like a big baby too. You should your husband by now. I think all men are that way maybe not to the same extent as your husband. You just have to deal with it maybe you're not giving him enough attention. You sound like one of those wives that are constantly on the cel phone, or hanging out with your girls, or hopping on a plan taking a mini vacation. Is it so hard to give him a little attention, without coming down on him and if you don't have time to pay him a little attention why did you marry him? Maybe that's the problem maybe it bothers you soo much because you don't want to be married to him.

Answer 3

Maybe there is a reason for him to act this way. Either you are the only friend that he has and can talk to, or some trusting issues involve. He might be needy and emotional, but as long as he not abusive to you then I don't think he is try to controlling you at all. Seem like he is really love and care for you, but just acting in a selfish way. You both need to communicate and compromise by not fighting and criticize the other. In some way, to me. I think you are lucky to have a husband acting kinda needy and emotional. All he wanted is attention from his wife. Because most of other women are complaining about their men aren't paying attention to them, and always out with friends partying or cheating on them. In your case, if he doesn't have any of his own friends then let him hang out with you together whenever you hang out with your friends or family. And I don't think he is depending on you. He got a job as you mention. Like I said you both need to talk and compromise.

Answer 4

I don't know what to say. After reading ur question it seemed like my hubby's complaining about me.

I'm exactly like this. But since i live in joint family (have to live until we get financially independent)....he likes to spend 70% of time with his family and he don't care if im around or not.And hardly any time with me.......which drives me crazy.

Coz, he is everything to me and that's what he hates. He want me to get my own life and all things you r syaing about ur husband.

I like to be in his company and to go out and have fun. I get possesive and all that. I have my life too but not even single thing pleases me which means cutting out the time with my hubby that i get after his work and other commitments.

i'm telling u everything only so u can almost see other side coz he is quite like me. Its like hearing a death penalty if he says he will leave me.

I'm not psycho and neither is ur husband. Just give more attention and love and try to encourage him doing some stuff
go with him and do stuff with other people involved, once he start enjoying. You can skip somedays . Try to stay in touch on phone.

He is insecure and its gonna take some serious effort from u.
until then enjoy wt u have and 99% of other women only wish to have.

Answer 5

So what if he doesn't want to spend time with his family or friends. He wants to spend all his time with you. You are his friend. If he is having a hard time, be patient with him. All you have to do is tell him that you will be visiting your family, but you should invite him to come along at times too.

If you knew he was like this before getting married, then you shouldn't have married him. But that is too late now.

Oh, one thing your husband may not be aware about is that he thinks he is not doing any harm to you. What happen in the past should remain the past. You married him still!

What you should do is appreciate him. At least he is not cheating with another woman or out there drinking at a local bar, or on drugs etc.... he is with you! You married him for who he is, so let him love you in his own way and don't try to change him just because you want want space. There is a way to handle it. If you want to take your marriage vows seriously, then I would consider on reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage."

It could also be that he hasn't become a man yet. Give him time to learn how. Don't give up on him because he loves you.

Answer 6

He's not just dependent he is controlling and this is not a long road to outright abusive. Someone who isolates you and controls your movements and behavior (i.e. blocking the exits ) is just BAD NEWS. I am sorry you married him even after he exhibited this behavior. It is NOT healthy. I suggest you 1 get into counseling for yourself, 2. Start stashing money away and have an escape route ready should you need to leave 3. Don't let him isolate you from friends and family and 4. Don't get pregnant by him if you haven't already until this is resolved.
Edit: I do not care how many people vote thumbs down on this one..Your safety is at stake these are HUGE warning signs. Get a book by Gavin DeBecker called "The Gift of Fear" read it, but hide it from him. These girls who tell you that you are lucky to have a man care about you so much are young and/or confused themselves. I will take the heat and stand firm on this one. The sooner and safer you get out the better.

Answer 7

How about joining some groups together as husband and wife. This way both of you can have couple friends. This might give him the security he seems to be missing. Then eventually maybe he can go out with the guys from the group and the girls can go out too.
It's going to be a long slow process.
Best of luck.

Answer 8

My husband and I have decided on these two names:

Answer 9

Lebanese husband

Answer 10

He's a control freak & it will only get worse.Dont let him play that pity card on you.Leave him.Do it when he is not there or he will freak out & kill you.Have someone else move in with the two of you if you can so that you are never alone with him.This is NOT a good relationship.He has issues & that is NOT your problem.