Anger problems !! need someone help?

Question

I'm 19 years. when i was 14 they sent me to anger management and took like several different classes. i was a mad kid fighting a lot punching walls windows etc.. my knuckles are really all mest up now=[... i learn how to stay kwel wit out getting angry around the age of 17. alright my question is ..
ever since i been soft and not letting my anger show. i been soft. i been soft to my sister she treats me like **** and she is younger than me and I'm soft to my g/f.. been soft out in the streets been avoiding fights as much as possible.
its been like 2 months now that i just been an angry person. i guess that i been holding it in and now its just coming out really bad is that normal? i chew up my sister the other day my g/f ..
so is that normal me just releasing my anger now after several years now?

nah im not wigger
im no suicidle freak im not emo
i just have anger problems
i have a job i go to school like
just what everyone does i party i drink idk
each time i get mad i would smoke weed
and i only some once in a while
but i dont want do that .

i do work out..
its hard for me to relax in my house cause i live wit my 2 bbabies a 3 year old and a 4 year old and i dont mind them but there is always noise and its a lil hard for them to stay still/

these are all great answers

Answer 1

You are not soft. Find more constructive ways of dealing with this anger like, going for a walk, ride a bike, get a punching bag and punch the living day lights out of it. Discover why you are feeling angry by being more self aware of your feeling, learn to relax, take a yoga class, learn to breathe, write in a journal, find what works for you, and seek some sort of counselling to talk about what you are feeling and why. Learn to communicate what you are feeling by talking, instead of showing anger, lower your stress, focus on the good things in your life, and deal with your issues. Be honest with yourself, it's your choice.

Answer 2

Anger is a choice. Anger is a poor choice.

You giving in to the weakness of anger allows others to control you. Any one who can piss you off, can divert your attention into self destructive patterns of behavior. Do you want to be that kind of an easy victim? Do you think doing some time for assault will improve your situation in life?

A strong person is never angry. A strong person is spontaneous and responsible. A strong person has a full range of personal resources, personal responses that are effective.

The way you describe yourself you must be very insecure.
I urge you to keep practicing being soft. Soft is good. Soft leads to a good life. Letting things be easy lets more things happen.

The specific practices are to be open and vulnerable. Say how you feel. Be calm and stay out of judgment and say how you feel. If you are treated disrespectfully that is good information for you to have. You are looking for a positive response to you when you are being authentic and real. You may have to change friends. People who are abusive and intrusive when you are offering openness and vulnerability, are unlikely to be able to contribute anything to your life experience, that you want.

Answer 3

First, i feel your frustration, and confusion. You have tried and worked hard at accomplishing something important in your life. Others like to push the buttons of people they think have buttons to push. lousy i know, but true.. these people are bullies. no matter the age..
Deep inside you i feel there is a sadness, undone business.
No one deserves or should be treated with disrespect. No one. Including you.. have you talked to your parents regarding your sisters actions? that is first where i would start.
It's not about being "soft" , it's about being respectful to yourself, and having dignity too for others.. That takes great commitment and work not just for you to do, but for many others.. The world isn't all "softies".. the newspapers are full of proofs to that. If more men especially would care as you to be men of valor and integrity of life, and self and others we could really have world peace. there is a song with these words: "let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me". One person can make a difference.. way to go for asking the question here!.. holding in anger isn't healthy for you, affects the heart, can become explosive and not meaning too.. We all get angry.. It is learning how to appropriately control the anger.. which is usually from many deep sources come.. unmet expectations of others , our selves, hurtful comments, and a host of other things. Remember this " one persons demeaning comments, does not a person make" . Labels only stick if you allow them to.. You are not what others believe or say of you, you are only what you believe you are.. Rise above, hold your head up, and know. You are succeeding , admitting there is a problem is the first step to success!

Answer 4

Many people have anger issues. I have them not bc i grew up in the ghetto or anything but i've always been in an insecure environment and I had to meet my own emotional needs without help... plus I've been through some bad experiences and sometimes my anger just gets out of control. You have to get yourself out of the environment that is making you angry. Tough I know but it works. And then at that point you have to start digging deep asking yourself why you go out of control at the times it happens. But dont worry you are not alone!

Answer 5

it's not good to keep anger in, but you have to find a better way to express it without blowing up in people's faces. I agree with the comment above that it may be time to get a refresher course on how to make it through the more adult situations that you will be facing. Take it from my brother who is now serving time in jail for assault, and disorderly conduct for hitting a telephone pole outside of a bar bc/ he was angry...oh and stay away from conniving women and liars for that matter - hang out with people who make you a better person and ditch the rest if you know what's best for you.

Answer 6

I think that's normal, given the hardship you experienced before.
If you're keeping it in, that is, not processing it through some combination like, say, exercise, spiritual reading, conscientious positive thinking and keeping company with kind, peaceful people, then it seems pretty natural to lose control of your temper. Without a support system for the new aspect of your personality you're working to develop, your challenge couldn't be greater. But I've heard many times, "you can't change someone else, only yourself", and I know this to be true. So, in the end, we are the ones who change ourselves. Still,having a type of support system is like having new tools - they work when we use them.
Along with awareness it takes a lot of deliberate behavior to replace anger or rage with the experience of self control.
It's worth all efforts to gain mastery over ones' own self, as not all of our desires result in goodness to ourselves (or others).
I wish you patience, endurance, peace of mind and eager curiosity, for the world lies before you.
HEY ! ! ! And here's a star because you cared enough to ask for help and so many people are giving you sound advice and encouragement (except for that one bugger). ALRIGHT!!

Answer 7

in a way yes. you need to find a healthy way to deal with anger, jogging, art work, writing, etc. avoiding a fight isn't soft, in fact in the state of society now its a much harder thing to do. not saying there isn't a place for it but people be to quick to throw down and prove how hard they are. learning a way to channel ur anger will help open doors and u will soon realize ways to handle being pushed around while staying in control.

Answer 8

Anger management smoothed your adolescent years, and the purpose is so you wouldn't carry those problems into adulthood where anger consequences are permanently held against you (ie: violence, abuse leading to criminal offenses). You don't want this. All in all, it could very well be time for a refresher course. You now need adulthood mechanisms, because it seems you have outgrown the childhood lessons.

Answer 9

When u feel angry dont think about that issue which has made you angry. And smile at same time.