23 ...3 kids depressed?

Question

I am 23 have 3 kids ages 3,2 and 1 month i know i am not a very good mom staying with sister 2 friends and my so called b f who is not working now he is mexican much older then me 14 yrs to be specific..i love my kids but hate my life been drinking to drown the pain..am in love with my youngest babys dad and he is in another town and for reasons that take long to explain i cant be with him now......I would go with him in a heart beat if i did not have kids or we had place 2 stay.....I feel like dying and cry all the time and drink too much dont know what 2 do dont see things getting any better any time in the future want to die please any one have advice please ...

Answer 1

First of all don't have any more kids. Secondly if you feel you are unstable and feeling burdened do not take it out on your kids. Don't hurt them. Give them up if you have to even if it's for a short time to get yourself together. Be aware that anyone who has 3 kids under 5 years old would feel overwhelmed at times if not always. Try to get more outside help through social services, charities, churches, community centers etc. The salvation army would be a good place to start. Things can and will get better if you take these steps.

Answer 2

You need to focus on YOU and THE KIDS. Not your baby daddies and your almost 40 year old boy jobless slacker boyfriend. the position you're in definitely sucks, I'll give you that... but you can get through it!

Your boyfriend isn't working, so make him stay home while you find a job. You landing a job is the start of your independence and separation from all the BS in your life. Get a job with flexible hours... Waitressing makes good money if you don't have office skills. Waitressing at a bar or bartending makes even better money. It may take time, and dedication, but eventually you'll be making money and gaining self esteem in the process. Not to mention getting a break from the kids every day and the 4 other adults you live with. Your job may actually give you a chance to think, a place of peace for your thoughts...

Answer 3

OK....... let's start with the drinking. Drinking, while it will numb you for the moment, it is a depressant. So, the more you drink the worse you will feel.
You sound like you know right from wrong so it's time you act on that. I know the pressures of being a mother, however that is no excuse to be ignorant and continue making mistakes. You say you love your kids you need to show it. Actions will always speak louder than words.
While I know you will dismiss what I have to say I will say it anyway! Go to school. Get a trade or degree that will enable you to care for your children. Stay away from the Liquor it will only make matters worse,
You brought these children into this world now step up to the plate and do right by them.
Go to the doctor for your depression, and get a therapist to help you work through your problems.

If you really feel like DYING, find help immediately!!!!!!!!


My opinion, if your smart enough to reach out for help on "Yahoo" your smart enough to be an adult and do what you have to do for you so you can take care of those kids......
Stop looking for someone to feel bad for you. The only ones feeling bad right now are those children who did not ask to be brought into this mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

You need to grow up RIGHT NOW. Your kids need you to be a responsible adult, not some miserable little girl who is completely out of control. Your time for feeling sorry for yourself is over. You have a mess to clean up, and you've got to do it immediately because you're the only one who can.

1) Dump the boyfriend. He isn't going to save you from your life.
2) Move home if you can, or stay where you are and get rid of the boyfriend. You've got to be in a stable environment for your children.
3) Give up the fantasies, give up wondering when you'll find someone who loves you and will take care of you. Your time for worrying about your love life is gone. Your job is to raise your children. Period.
4) Quit drinking, immediately. It will not help anything, it will only make things worse. It isn't even that good of an escape, so why bother?

If you keep going the way you are, you're going to lose your kids to the state, and your life will just be a steady progression of loser relationships, one after the other, until you're so used up and lost, you can't get straightened out. Your kids deserve better. And so do you. Good luck!

Answer 5

ur problem is not because u have 3 kids
its not because u are 23
its not because u dont have ur place
it's not because u cant be with ur love.
it's because u dont know how to organize ur self and be a responsible person to ur self FIRST and then to those affected by u.
get ur life together, find a career build ur social life and start acting like a real mother.
drinkin and drowning the pain will get u no where.
do u think your situation would be better if non of that happened !!
i dont think so, we all have our own problems
problems way worse than urs. but we take responsibility for what we do and try to improve things to the best.
if everyone did the same thing u doin now, drinkin and wastin time watchin t.v, then the whole world would be a terrible place to live in.

Answer 6

baby girl..you got the BRITNEY SYNDROME. you need a break ! take time out a hour a day for yourself get your nails done, then your feet, you need to stop drinking and clean up and get a nanny and don't be afraid to dump the kids somewhere for an hour. the mexican man helping? i am mexican and mexican men...tend not to do tooo much...hope that is not the case. he can watch the children! if not tell him to get out if you can. get parents to help? is that possible. ??? the point is you need a break and space for yourself. that is it entirely. then you can breathe and cope. you are strong and you will be fine. welfare can help pay for daycare and you can get a good job and jobcore can help. look around and when you havesome time to think, you can cope and do this. you have to go after what you want no matter what. my sister works as an escort, a MHA AND A SECRETARY ...AND HAS 4 KIDS SO I KNOW. YOU CAN DO IT.

Answer 7

Ditch the boyfriend. Get rid of that user.
Get some self-esteem.
Stop drinking... STOP IT!

Will your sister and friends watch the kids for you?

Go to the Welfare offices to get some help... at least get some money coming in. File for child support from each of the babys' daddies. Go file for placement with the state employment offices.

Start putting in applications around town... anything... grocery stores, BigLots, WalMart... anything. Just getting a job will get you out of your funk and give you a lot more resources to work with.

Don't wait for this other guy to get it together.
Get yourself together. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

Answer 8

I think you just feel overwhelmed with your life.... I know how it feels to be depressed and everything seems bad... You shouldnt be so sad... The most important thing you can do is to start being positive and try to quit the bad habits like drinking it will only make it harder for you.. i used to drink alot to feel better about life and the things that i was unhappy about but it really only made them worse... I'm sure having 3 kids is alot of work and responsibility.. but u should consider yourself lucky having them... anyway.. hope u feel better... Life is short... enjoy it.. No need to be stressed and depressed... do what you can to better your life and the lifes of your kids :)

Answer 9

Those kids are you first and for most priority. Your being selfish and playing the "whoa is me" card... You are not a good mom to these kid when your drinking and drunk. You need to go to therapy and parenting classes. Your in love with some other guy....NO NO NO. You need to look at the big picture and not with your beer goggles on. Take care of your children and you.... And for God sakes wear a chastity belt or get fixed your to fertile and should not be boring children.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You are in deep. But you need to focus on being the best mother you can be. This means stop drinking and finding a job to support your kids. You are doing a disservice to your kids by being drunk all of the time. Once you focus on your kids instead of your personal problems, I think that you will start to feel better.