Hello, I am new to this service and I have had the worst month of my life. I was involved in a bad car accident that should have killed me (according to medical personnel on the scene) but ended up only splitting my nose open. Then a week and half later my sister died (suddenly of a blood clot and yes we were very close). I have been on pain killers, valiums, muscle relaxers, and God only knows what else. My oldest son broke his leg and now I find out I am pregnant with number 4. Everyone is happy but me and I hate that. I want to be happy but all I keep thinking about is this is number 4. I also keep thinking that this might be my sister or a sign from her (been on birth control faithfully for 6 years since last child). Why now? It has only been 2 weeks since her funeral. I guess I want to know how can I be happy again? I am married and have been for 10 years and other kids are 13, 10 and 6. Please help I feel like I am going to have a breakdown.
2007-08-21 18:04:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh sweetie, you will be fine.. I was exactly the same way when I found out I was pregnant with number 4. My 3 oldest kids were 14, 13 and 8 and I was not expecting anymore until woops.. At the time I was in a 10 yr. relationship with my ex and we were not doing very good. As you can see I called him ex. And having another baby was not the happiest thing that could of happened to me. I was about to get laid off from a job that I had for 10 yrs because they were relocating to houston and I was facing foreclosure of my home... I was so totally miserable and felt like there was no hope... Until I started bleeding because I was about to have a miscarriage. Everything changed, I wanted my child to live. I was put on bedrest for two months because she was struggling to survive. And you know what my darling little girl ( she is now two) is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my kids. I know you are going to be just fine. It is overwhelming I know, but now is the time to be your strongest. Your children need you. And you know what, it's going to be way easier for you having your child. You are older and wiser, and you have 3 built in babysitters. Your baby will be a blessing from god, just think about it, you were on birth control pills and your egg was fertilized, he/she was meant to be in your life : ) Hang in there sweetie, it will get better...
2007-08-21 18:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by HotNurse71 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. You've been through a lot. I'm very sorry to hear about your sister. I suspect that may be why you aren't happy about the baby right now. Your sadness and loss is probably spilling over into areas of your life you don't even realize. I lost someone I was very close once and months later, I just burst into tears for no reason in the middle of a public place. Grief can be very powerful, not to mention the stress of the other events in recent weeks in your life. Two weeks ago may feel like an eternity to you now, but it's really probably quite fresh in your heart. Give yourself time to heal, take good care of yourself for your baby's sake and that of your family. Tell your husband how you're feeling and ask him to be extra kind, extra understanding. Let yourself have moments where you can just cry it out and release some of what you're feeling. Grief is a process, a stage. Don't be surprised if anger follows and then sadness again, even in the same moment. It's like a roller coaster. Just hang on, ride it out; and on the other side there will be happiness again, and joy. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Trust His timing. Keep reaching out to others. Let people help you through this difficult time. If it doesn't seem to help, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Take care.
2007-08-21 18:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by GeeQT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I faithfully believe that best things happen when you least expect it. You never expected to get pregnant but you did. You need something new in your life right now. you have been through so much that you need something to keep you busy and away from all the recent pains. i am sure that you received a lot of joy from the birth of your other children. So... Maybe this is child is your escape from you present difficulties. If you don't have any physical or monetary issues at this moment, you should really start to prepare yourself. Start focusing more on this new addition to your life. As a mother i can tell you that once you are pregnant you start to care for yourself even more. and that's exactly what you need to do. Go shopping for baby clothes, that usually cheers me up. Try to decorate your baby's room [if you will have room to add an extra room to you family], Try taking Yoga classes... start eating healthy. once your body becomes healthy your mind will start to grow positively. maybe your new child is what you needed right now. maybe this will be the way you will start taking care of yourself. being a mother you will surely try to be happy so you child receives that best nourishment....
2007-08-21 18:22:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all your boyfriend is a dick for leaving you! There are a couple of things you can do. You could have an abortion. Yes that does go against many people's beliefs, but in the long run it could be the best thing for you and your family. The other more recommended option is that you just man up and tell your mom. She probably will be disappointed because she probably wanted better for you, but she is your mom, so I'm sure she will support you. Once the baby is born, you will have other options to make, but you can worry about those later. Good luck girl!! xoxo
2016-05-19 05:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not carrying your sister. You are possibly carrying a gift from your sister.
This baby is some one that god knows you need in your life.
With everything that you have been through you deserve to be happy. Remember holding your baby for the first time, not when they were born but when everyone went home and you were finally alone with that brand new life? Focus on that, focus on this being your last baby and try to enjoy this pregnancy, focus on who is your sister and god sending you.
Spend a few days crying until you have no tears left and then try to see the good. You deserve this little miracle.
Good luck!
2007-08-21 18:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something bad happened to you, it doesn't mean that life stopped, everyone in this world might experience some kind of problems in his life.
As for your car accedent, thanks God , you came out safe, continued your life with your family, kids and friends who loves you.
Sisters death is nothing to do with you, it is God wish, for sure her death caused pain and sadness for you and the family. but sister had passed away suddenly and quickly, many persons have passed away but after suffering and being long time with cruel deseases like cancer and Alzheimer.
Think about blind who can't see, about crippled who moves with difficulty and assistance.
Think about who have kidney failure and has to pass through 6 hours painful dialization every other day.
Think about moms who lost their kids in war or who lost their husbands in work accedents.
Think of persons who are in jail and lost freedom.
Think of persons in some parts of the world who don't have something to eat and many of them die of hunger.
Think of parent who cannot give birth and have no kids.
Think about persons who are living in countries where there is no security and safety
You have freedom, security, food, health, kids, loving family and great country
If everybody arround you is feeling happy , that means you are in good shape, they can see the bright side of the life and enjoy it.
No need to keep thinking about sad matters that happened in the past, think about today and the future and try to enjoy your life.
Cogratulation for the coming baby, you will have 4 kids who will be loving, supporting and will take care of you when you grow older.
2007-08-21 19:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear about your loss and the other bad stuff that has happened to you lately. But think of it this way...a baby is a joy to have and if you want name it after your sister. She would of loved it, and when she is born tell her all about the aunt she would of loved. Congrats and Good Luck sweetie!!
2007-08-21 18:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God never puts anything in front of us that we can't handle. Embrace the change and hope for the better. Your sister is watching over you proud. Enjoy and good luck :)
2007-08-21 18:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mommyasa1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awww well think of it as a blessing. be happy. if you have to go talk to a professional about this. im sorry to hear about the loss though. i do hope you feel better and everything works out for the best!
2007-08-21 18:11:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋