I eloped and my husband and I are having a wedding picnic at my parents on September 15. My sister recently moved in with her loser boyfriend. No one in my family likes him at all. He has a 4 yr old that he is pretty much a deadbeat dad to. He works only when he wants to. He lost his license years ago and is eligible to get it back but instead is too lazy to simply go take the test. Instead he lets my sister chauffer him around. He is mean to my sister, possessive and its been rumored that he has hit previous girlfriends. I love my sister and she knows I am not fond of him and when she asked, I recommended that she not move in with him. I am friendly to him and try to treat her like the adult she is and let her make her own decision. My entire family hates this guy. I don't want an uncomfortable sitation on a happy day and I don't want to anger my sister. I am torn. Do I tell her he's not welcome and risk pushing her away from me?
2007-08-21 17:36:27 · 5 answers · asked by brakes_pegs_lucky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Part of what makes this a huge problem is that my father will not hesitate to be completely rude to this guy because he knew him and what a tool he was before my sister started dating him. Ideally my dad would be nice and cordial since its my 'special' day but he HATES this guy and I know he won't hesitate to make a scene. The party is at my parents house so I also feel like I am disrespecting them by letting the boyfriend come because they don't want him at their house. Why can't we all just get along? :)
2007-08-21 20:00:20 · update #1
She is your sister and all you have to do is be there for her and she will one day see it threw her own eyes and after she emerges she will thank you for always being there for her. Don't be the one that cuts ties be the one who loves her even when she is doing herself harm...
2007-08-21 17:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is appropriate for you to do that. If you were inviting anyone to your wedding, the invite would be to "Ms. Jones and Guest". You don't have the right to choose who your sister's "guest" would be. Your sister is aware of how you feel about him. After that, it's her life and her decision. You will be so happy about your wedding that you won't even notice he is there. As for the rest of the family, they can suck it up and deal with him for a day. Ideally, it would be nice to include and exclude anyone you wanted, but in the real world, most people have divorced family members and feuding family members to deal with at their weddings. Best to look the other way and try to rise above any differences you have with him. Banning him from your wedding will not solve anyone's problems. It could permanently ruin your relationship with your sister.
2007-08-22 00:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would address her invitation including a guest. It is up to her who she brings. As she is in a relationship that has progressed to the live together stage you can'e exclude him without excluding her too.
My family tried to do this to me and it just made me dig in my heels and hang on much longer than I would have if they had just tried to accept my choice at the time- good or bad.
Congratulations on your new marriage!
2007-08-22 00:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell you sis in a nice way.
2007-08-22 02:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect your sister enough to let her bring him if she wants. are you telling anyone else their significant other is not welcome? he means something to her.
2007-08-22 00:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋