How do I fight back when my jelous ex-wife won't quit?

Question

My ex wife has been calling my girlfriends job for 6 months hanging up on her, as well as walking through the mall she works in even though she has a restraining order. In addition to that she has been calling my place at 330 in the morning to wake me when she knows my girlfriend is over and calling early mornings asking questions I gave her answers to days earlier. Last Friday, my ex dropped my kid off and the timing was really bad because my GF was drivng up at the same time. My daughter told me that my ex began to weep, and ask why my girlfriend could park in the covered parking at my building. She tells everyone that she is over me, but yet she still gets emotional. To make a long story short, minutes later she hit me and called the police and said that I hit her. We both were detained. I got a restraining order against her and she countered by sending the Sherriff’s to my mothers place to take my kids away (even though a court order says they are supposed to be there) How do I stop this? She is manipulating the law and playing the victim.

PS I wanted to respond to some of the answers here. I am NOT giving mixed signals. I havent touched the or even had a conversation over 5 mins with her in over a year and a half. Second, the reason I said "Fight Back" is because she is putting the law on her side and they are jumping to help her with every lie she tells. Shes even gone as far as to say ive been beating her for the last ten years once she saw it got a rise out of some people. It's 100 percent untrue and i really hate the the authorities are reacting to what she is saying without proof! On another note there has been alot of good advise here. I am considering it all.

Answer 1

Document everything with date and times.
Your girlfriend needs to call the police the next time she sees her stroll through the mall since there is a restraining order on her. You need to contact an attorney and see about getting custody of your children - she does not sound like a stable person and should not be caring for children. You need to contact the phone company and let them know about the 3:30 phone calls (without getting into any detail about who it is or what the circumstances are) and have a wire tap placed on your phone. When she hit you, wasn't there a mark where she hit you? Did the police not note that? If she continues, you need to pull out the stops and sue her for defamation of character/slander if she continues to send the sherriff to your mother's, etc. I also think that while this is going on, it would be in the best interest of you and your girlfriend to back off for awhile - the ex-wife could be dangerous to one or both of you.

Answer 2

Turn off you phone, if you have voicemail and it is important then who ever is calling will leave a message. If she is bothering your girlfriend on her job then its possible that she get a restraining order, of course once your ex misbehaves then you will have to get her with a warrant. Restraining orders are not much of a help because once your ex has broken the restraining order you still have to get a warrant for her to be picked up. What is really sad is that the two of you are not thinking about what this is doing to your kids. You need to set up a situation where you get your kids but never come in contact with your ex. The courts can help you with this or you could get a mutual friend drop off your children..She is not over you or she would not be angry. I am curious as to why she is so angry. Maybe you should think about why she is so upset.

Answer 3

Wow... You need to record conversations that you have with her. Record conversations that you have with your child about her. It would be better to have someone else there as a witness whenever you two exchange the child. If you do not have mediation, or custody, then you need to get that done. This way, she cannot show up early, or late, and start problems because your girlfriend is there. Call the police when she is making threats and call social services when she is putting the child in the middle. Eventually, the law will do something about it. If not, call Maury or Jerry! They will take care of it.

Or, have your girlfriend smack her up and say it was the other way around, considering, your girlfriend has a restraining order!

Answer 4

You will have to figure out a relative or someone so you can have your ex drop the kids off there and then you pick them up from there. Also you need to change your phone numbers and make them unlisted. And thirdly everytime she comes near you or your girlfriend call the police even if she's walking by. What ever you do, don't have any altercations with her anymore, verbally or physically EVER. She will soon see that it is over and give up and hopefully move on. She apparently has a problem seein what it is doing to your child(ren). She has to know she can never cry to them or call you names and vice versa in front of them because it is trying to make them choose between two parents that they love in the same way. It is horrible the way some parents get so caught up in themselves during divorce that they start bringing the kids into something they should never be involved in.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

You can't prove the calls to your GF's work and she has a right to walk through a public mall, as long as she doesn't go into the store your gf works at.

Next time she calls at a rediculous hour in the night/morning - DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE! If she calls your house phone, change your number - only give her your cell number and turn it off when you go to bed.

Do not be around your ex without someone present as a witness - although that shouldn't be a problem since you have a restaining order against her - so I'm assuming someone else will be handling the pick up/drop off of your daughter.

How do you "fight back"? You don't. What has to stop, are the restraining orders & use of the police - this is sending a HORRIBLE mesage to your daughter. The two of you have seemed to have lost sight of your child and are only thinking of yourselves.

I suggest you have your attorney,or yourself, write a letter to your ex citing concern for your daughter and her mental health, and if the animosity and war doesn't stop - you are going to go to court to see to it that your daughter is placed into counseling & if she refuses counseling for the child, you will sue for custody. Personally, I feel you should write it, instead of an attorney, so that it comes more from feelings than from a cold legal standpoint.

Answer 6

my new husband and i are going through the same type of thing! I agree with what everyone is saying about document and get a lawyer, take her to court. We have had to totally cut her and his children off completely. I saddens us deeply. He has delt with her for many years before i came along. In the past when he would get a new gf she would always pull the same old tricks. I think what has stopped her the most is that we got married one day out of the blue. It was a big slap in the face that we love one another and she can't break our union. We hope to try to get the children back on a reg. visitation soon. Sometimes people just cant let go. We find that when she has a man in her life she leaves us alone..But as soon as her life is back in a shambles she is driving us crazy once again.
I know ...Hire someone to date her!! LOL
Good luck, it gets better, just have ur gf hang in there if she really loves u!

Answer 7

Definitely hire a lawyer and collect every evidence you can find. You must've had a bitter breakup with her and she is still not over with the whole thing. Talk to your lawyer about everything you typed here, and from now on, write down all the events that take place, time, place, incident. A diary will be your weapon. Your gf should file a police report too on her. Change your home number, and locks. She can be dangerous. If things get out of hand, play her game. Meet her parents and friends and let them know what she is doing. Tell them to help her get psychiatric help.

Answer 8

Change your phone number to an unlisted one, then your GF has to start calling the cops whenever your ex gets near the store she is working in (that restraining order I think says 200 feet .. read the darn thing!)
You need to get a lawyer to get all the details specified on paper and take it to the court to stop the harassment. The Sheriff cannot take your children if your mother had the right paper work. Your not doing your home work and your ex is taking advantage of that. Get your girlfriend and mother to start helping you instead of acting like they can do nothing.
They are sure acting wimpy!

Answer 9

WOW!!!

Is her name Lori. I was never married before but my husband was for 3 yrs. because she got pregnant in high school and he did love her. But she was a cheater/freak and still is and has been married 4 different times to this day and 3 kids by all different dads and lost custody with all of them. SAD & CRAZY!! But she gave us problems all the time. calling all hours of the night, knocked out our house windows & broke the front door, along with her girlfriends threats too. Keep in mind she was married to someone else for 5 yrs. while doing all of this. The best thing that happened she got so envolved with so many other guys she didn't have time for us anymore after 7 long yrs. of tourcher. It was very, very diffucult to stay married during all of this and I was young then, and were still together 20 yrs. later. Just keep your cool and don't give up. Trust me she won't keep doing it forever. Stay devoted to your girlfriend and stand behind her 100% and be very understanding towards her. It's very hard when there's an ex that is a constant problem and kids involved. Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

I can understand why she is your X.

It may come to the point you will need to move to another place and change the phone numbers.

It also may come to the point that she be arrested and taken to court.

If you and her have a child together then there is a real problem there. Either stop having anything to do with the child or have the child under only your care. Sharing children most of the time does not work for anyone.