my boyfriend want to wait until he is 45 to marry?

Question

my boyfriend is 32 and told me he is not getting married until he is 45 ..we only been together 2yrs and have a son together but I'm ready for marriage I dont know what to do? am I doing too much?

people we dont live together he owns his own home and so I ...we are not playing house...he is great boyfriend and father ...But just is not ready for marriage...he treats me like a queen but I dont know how long I can wait

Answer 1

Why 45?
Your child will be 17-18 years old at that time, is that why he picked 45? is he trying to avoid child support or something? Something is not right.

Answer 2

Uh... so you are with him WHY?
His arbitrary number means nothing.
He is jerking you around!
After two years of living together and a baby, in most states you are already common-law married!
In other words, you would still probably have to file divorce just to get your credit records and all that stuff separated.

Now here is the thing... why do you want to sell yourself short? Common-law marriage has all of the responsibilities and liabilities as a formal marriage, but none of the benefits.
If he got into an accident and wound up on life support, in most states, you don't have the authority to pull the plug. You would also have trouble getting his life insurance to pay you.
At the same time, you could be stuck with 100% of the bills no matter what you do.
Get the marriage certificate or move on!

If you don't believe me, hit the bookstore and get the "do it yourself" divorce guide for your state.

Answer 3

Suppose you two were in two diffrent cars on the street. He is in front of you. You need to make a right, and you can, once he gets the green light. But untill he gets the green, you have to wait. That is what you are doing now. You are waiting for someone else to get out of your way.

Your boyfriend told you he wants to wait to get married when he is 45, because he doesn't want to marry you. He is happy how it is. Problem is, you aren't. you want to be married. This is going to make you very very very resentful over time.

You need to decide if you are ok with waiting for him to decide the direction of YOUR life, OR are you going to move forward and find a guy who loves and wants you, that will marry you and live life.

Answer 4

. 45 seems a bit steep to me.
Since you have a child together and you love him perhaps you are willing to wait. Do you get a engagement ring now that you can choose to wear the next 13 yrs(since he intends to marry you at 45? Or is that an issue too.
I personally' don't have enough patcience, if I were in your shoes I'd be moving on way before that expiration date.
Good luck to you whatever path you choose.

Answer 5

whats the difference from marrying him now and waiting till he is 45. hell whats the difference from now and getting married period? you are pretty much married now without taking his name. honestly you say you are ready for marriage but what does that mean? you are sleeping with him, you are cooking for him, you had his kid, you do everything for him so why in the hell would he have to marry you? think about it. to guys marriage is a big thing and they are not going to do that, you made it easy for him. it is too late to ask for that stuff now. you should have asked him to marry you or made him think you will not do that stuff until you get married. but it is too late for that. dont expect him to marry you because you rae ready. he is playing by his rules and you are loosing. he is having fun and you want ot be mae into an honest woman. not going ot happen now! so i suggst you just either wait around for him to be Mrs. so and so. or you not wait and find you a new guy that will give you what you want, when you want. goodl uck.

Answer 6

He already told you he wasn't getting married until he is 45. You should have gotten to know him better before you had sex and wound up getting pregnant. Just because YOU are ready for marriage doesn't mean he HAS to be ready as well. Hopefully you've learned your lesson about becoming sexually intimate with someone you don't really know, obviously you didn't know this guy as well as you should have before having sex with him. So now you have a decision to make.

Answer 7

well this always seems to baffle me because men want to have it all but wont get married you two have a child it sounds to me he wants his cake and wants to eat it to you have already done everything married people do so what is his problem and what is his excuse if he loves you than there is no reason not to marry it sounds like he feels if you 2 are together by that time then he will do it .does he have doubt does he think he will close his options to be with another if he ties the knot. i think he needs to s h i t or get off the pot....

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Doing too much??

Well, little late to ask that now.

Whether he's ready for marriage or not- he's already playing house.

I say, take care and look after yourself and your child-

good luck.

Answer 10

Tell him you'll marry someone else cause you can't wait that long. Sounds like a real winner!