I just looked at 2 answers and want to add the following. I do take it very slowly, lots of 4play gentle massage, all that stuff. I really do it all correctly, I try new stuff, old stuff, at differnet times and places. I leave it alone for days on end hoping she gets in the mood. I think she may have an hormonal inbalance, she is 50+.
2007-08-21 15:22:12 · 18 answers · asked by roadcracks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have never said anything about her weight as one of you is suggesting. Thats because she is 5ft 7 and only 135 lbs. She is physically active. I tell her she looks great and that she turns me on. I also try it a bit rougher at times but that don't work. I ask her what I can do and she says she doesn't know and she just feels numb. I know for certainty she isn't doing anyone else.
2007-08-21 15:41:21 · update #1
Roadcrack ,
I am a 34 year old woman . Attractive , married to a 31 year old attractive male . Sexy man at that . For us we simply have too many children ! LOL We have 5 girls and are always busy with them . And by the time that "our time" comes . We are just too tired to even look at each other . My husband is the best in the world ! Attractive , smart , funny , loving and romantic . He's the kind that will take the clip out of my hair , hold my neck from behind and kiss me romantically . I like that . It's just ... well I don't seem to want to have sex . I honestly do not know why . I do feel as though a woman's hormones play a major part in this .
Maybe she could go and get her hormones tested .
Also with me , I feel sexier and more opt to have sex when I'm freshly showered . It's an OCD thing with me I'm guessing ... LOL That way I know that I can let loose with my husband .
Like I said I am 34 ... husband is 31 . And we are having the same issues .
Are you guys having any financial issues , child issues . Maybe grandchildren issues . That could have her mind on something else ?
My husband is a gentle man , with his love making . But at times . I do wish he were more manly and agressive .... LOL .
But then again .... I'm rarely in the mood and I DON'T KNOW WHY ! LOL
Just maybe you could sit down with her and ask her again . What can you do to help her out .
I had a simlilar conversation with my older sister who just turned 52 . She said she would think about sex purposely during the day . Have a day dream or something . And then put herself in the mood over the hours of the day . And then by the time she got home she was feeling " in the mood " .
Sometimes I have dreams that arouse me ( not very often) . But when I do . I will remember that dream over and over again . And that seems to help with me .
Good luck to you . You seem to be a caring man , to ask for help with this subject . Your wife is very lucky to have a man interested in her well being ......................
There is one thing that my husband and I do try . Since I am hard to get aroused . I sometimes go in private and have a friend waiting for me ( you know what I mean ? ) That helps me at times to get aroused and in the mood . But often times I feel as though my husband feels that maybe it's his fault that he can't get me aroused .
Here have a laugh at our expense . Seriously , my husband is in bed here in our room . Just last night I said wow you smell really good . He said " does that turn you on " ? I said "yes it certainly does help" . he showers from a long day at work . And has his cologne on and is ready for me to hit the bed ! LOL ... NO JOKE ! I just showered and am feeling sexy . So he may just get lucky tonight . Hee-Hee ..........
2007-08-21 16:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Teenam1111 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, she's 50+. Which means anything you are trying, have tried or are going to try, she's already seen or read about in some magazine. If it's not a hormone thing (which it could very well be), then just go after what you want honey. Yup, take control over the situation and be the man honey. You'll take her by surprise, and that my dear, should wow her into a good time! I'm thinking all this other stuff just isn't the manly approach she might be looking for. Sure romance is nice, massages are wonderful, but don't do those things expecting a little something something...it turns women off.
2007-08-21 15:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How about some REAL help...
Get on the web... get a couple of pounds of MACA.
It is a rainforest herb... really a FOOD... that boosts and supports the entire endocrine system... including the sex drive.
Start working a tablespoon or two of this powder into a smoothie once or twice a day... that makes it palatable. It does have a woody taste. As she gets stuff in alignment, she will feel the old urges kick in again. Doorknobs start looking sexy.
Another thing... something called DHEA... it is a youth hormone booster that also helps one to build bone mass. Great stuff. Start small... like 25 mg with meals. You get it at the health food store.
Other than that... do the ol' candlelight dinner thing. Maybe introduce some lotions and potions from the local lingerie store.
2007-08-21 15:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people here are so friggin stupid...
I think you should get her to see her doctor about this. If she is saying she feels numb, that is more of a problem than not being aroused sexually. You can get her to talk to her doctor, and then you two can see a sex therapist. Hormones DO play a part in this too... too much estrogyn can KILL ur sex drive, that is why women who are on the pill are at risk of their sex drive lowering...
There are books out there too, that you can read to better understand... its not always that you arent doing something wrong, especially if it is hormonal on her side. She cannot help it, but she can work to change that, with the help of her doctor. Get her to make an apointment with you and you both go see ur doctors, you yours her hers. I hope you figure this all out, and I will be sure when I begin to encounter these problems, I'm 21 now the worst I deal with is my pill, to go to my doctor and not have my husband feeling all put off or anything.
Good luck, I'm so glad I scroll through the older questions. I would've missed this one otherwise and you would've been stuck with a bunch of dummies who want to collect points not offer help.
2007-08-21 16:39:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at that age women tend to be into romance more than anything so plan a romantic day or night, go sight seeing, have a picnic or go to the beach things like that or plan a vacation if possible. No matter what it is do something spontaneous. I dont think toys and different positions will do the trick. The freaky days should be over by now so that means no porn either.
2007-08-21 15:37:37 · answer #5 · answered by a.braynen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say a woman reaches her sexual peak in her forties and fifties, but I'm only 26 so I can only speak for myself. Maybe she has a fetish? You're being so loving, gentle and all that, which is good, but for some it's the rougher stuff that gets them roaring. Talk to her, she's knows better than anyone what turns her on. Has she always been like this? If not than you may be looking at a hormone imbalance.
2007-08-21 15:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by lippy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried talking to her about what makes her happy, what will get her in the mood and what you can do for her. Maybe what you are doing is not something especially that she likes. Maybe you are trying too many things and she is having a hard time keeping up??
Talk to her - or maybe find an in home "adult - toy party" that she can go to - they have lots of products that can help lots of situations and it is usually women only, so maybe she can get some ideas from that if you could talk her into going.???
2007-08-21 15:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by KD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have her check into natural hormone replacement therapy. I am 51 and just started it myself. It is great! After 50 a woman's vaginal walls get dry and intercourse hurts. That could be her problem. It was mine and I was too embarrassed to talk to my husband about it. I talked to several doctors who gave me medicines that worked but then robbed me of my sex drive. I finally found a doctor who specializes in the natural replacement. I have been using it for 6 weeks and my husband says I act like the young woman he fell in love with. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-08-21 15:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a better guess for you:
I think you have reminded her that she has gained some weight. Have you wondered if she would like to work out at a gym? Have you said that you noticed she is getting fat? Have you made comments like: You aren't going to eat all of that, are you? If you have made her feel less than desirable, that is your main problem. If a woman is made to feel fat then she will probably not be interested in having sex with you either. And don't blame it on a hormone imbalance because I think you have done something to turn her off to you. Right?
2007-08-21 15:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by Julie H 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow! I'm 22 and my husband doesn't care about pleasing me like that at all. Back to your question I don't understand I've never heard of that before maybe its hormones. How long has it been going on? It could possibly be menopause. Good luck
2007-08-21 15:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by alex-mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋