Is is normal for an 8 month old NOT to show affection???

Question

He smiles a lot and laughs with me, but doesn't hug or like to be hugged, or kiss me? I do breastfeed him, and thought that would create a stronger bond than bottle feeding. When I do try and hug him he either puts his arms out to the side, and doesn't put them around me, or he'll swat or push at me to get me to leave him alone? He's a VERY hyper baby, always wanting to go go go. He's never content for too long, and won't even sit still with me in my lap for more than 5 minutes????? It's frustrating and kinda feels like he doesn't care whether I'm there or not!!! I also feel sad when other people carry him around or watch him for a little while and he seems not to notice that I'm there! Is this normal? I want him to cuddle and need me......Is that asking too much from an 8 month old little boy. This is my 1st baby too, so I don't know how it should be, although I know they're ALL different..... Thanks for the advice!!!!

He does EVERYTHING a baby should be doing and MORE at this age!!!!!

Answer 1

It is hard to say if your son is normal or there may be a problem. At 8 mos, babies don't typically get real clingy. Now that they can go, they do. They like anyone who pays attention to them. Closer to a year, your son will probably go through stranger anxiety. Stranger anxiety is when they are fearful of being left with anyone. If your son does not show more affection at a year, bring it up to your doctor. At this point, it doesn't sound like something to be real worried about.

Answer 2

I breastfeed my 8 (almost9) month old also. He also smiles, laughs, and interacts but does NOT kiss or hug YET. I think they are too young for this type of affection. Noah's starting to push away when being held. He wants to be on the ground crawling. He's into everything! Enjoy the breastfeeding, this is your peaceful quality time.
Their little heads are spinning because they are learning so much, he's not interested in hanging out on your lap. He wants to explore!
Do you have a bedtime routine. If not, you can bathe him, feed him, and then read to him while rocking. Lower the lights...put him to bed.
As for being hyper, check your baby food labels. Do NOT feed him any dessert or puddings as they are high in sugar. For example, they say right on the bottle..."Coconut pudding or Guava Dessert".

Answer 3

I have seen that quite a few times in children. I bet if you left him with someone for a few hours, he would notice you were gone and miss you. He is still very young and probably hasn't gone through that attachment stage and maybe he won't. But beleive me having an easy-going baby, which is what you have, is much better than having a clingy demanding baby. But I can understand why it bother's you. Show him how to hug you, put his arms around your neck, make it a game, i kiss you, you kiss me, etc. The world is new to him and exciting and you will form a stronger bond with him when things in life come that scare him or make him feel uncomfortable, you will be there and he will know that, sounds like you are doing a great job.

Answer 4

my son was similar to this when he was about this age. it worried me because my daughter was always very affectionate. i wouldn't worry too much though. he will come around. my son seemed to despise being touched/held when he was really little. when he got to be about 10 months he changed drastically. now, at 18 months, he walks up to me, his dad and his sister and hugs and kisses us all the time. it's the sweetest thing ever! he also loves to snuggle now.

i also think part of your worry is due to overwhelming hormone issues. having a baby really does a number on your body chemical balance and things seem a lot worse than they really are. i'm not saying you have the baby blues or anything, please don't get me wrong. but, i can totally understand where you're coming from. having had two now i can see how out of whack i was for a long time after having each child. i'm just now starting to get my emotions back to normal and, like i said, my son is 18 months.

keep your chin up, you're doing a great job. he will appreciate you and soon he will be your biggest fan! but then, he will turn 5 and refuse to hug and kiss again!!

Answer 5

My son is 8 months old too.I know how you feel.I miss the days he used to fall asleep on my chest.Now I can't get him to sit still for the life of me.He's crawling everywhere.He even tries to run away the second I take his diaper off.When I am in the room he acts like he doesn't care.He very rarely doesnt push me away or try to run away when I try to kiss him.But I know he loves me because no matter who I leave him with the second he notices I am gone he starts screaming.Everyone tells me its just a phase.But if you are really worried about it do what I do when I really want him to hug or kiss me.I put him in his room with a bunch of toys, shut the door, and lie on the floor.I play with his toys but not with him.Particularly his beach ball.After like 20 minutes he gets very upset because I am not paying attention to him and he comes over and starts climbing on me and trying to kiss me.It makes me feel loved.I hope this helps.And if you want to talk to another first time mother in the same position then let me know.Just send me a message or something.

Answer 6

Your baby loves you. Babies at that age are so interested in everything they see, and want to be on the move constantly. Getting hugged etc... is keeping them from that strange green thing across the room, or that purple thing in the kitchen. (just examples) It is VERY normal at that age, to not want to stop and be held and hugged. They are to busy and ready to explore and get into anything they can. He will be this way for awhile. You will get more hug time and holding time when he is closer to his 2 and 3, and 4. So if he ever falls asleep on you, hold him. Its so normal, so don't feel bad, or take it personal.

Answer 7

My son was also very hyper and on the go and hated being held and giving or receiving hugs and kisses until he turned 2. Now he's the most affectionate little boy I know!

Give him time, he'll come around!

Answer 8

He senses your need for him, and children know how to show us they are boss. They also immitate others.

My advice is let him go through this stage of adventure and try holding him during breast feeding time, and holding him more around nap or bed times. This will ensure the bond between you and give him that trust factor. He is aware your in the room as you are his ONLY meal ticket...lol...So, relax, and let him have his independence from you, enough to explore and play safely.

Also, High intellegence is later a result in young hyper children who show signs of increased independance as a toddler. I would start working with him to see if he can learn early his ABC's...and Letters. Give him one letter a day, and one number a day, see if he remembers it at bed time. I bet He does. If he shows an increase in hearing abilities or other senses, talks a lot, or is even super sober acting with deep stares, I found this to be of higher intellectual signs early on. SO do not misjudge, hyper behaviors, and a child who seems to not concentrate well. These can all be misdirected sings of boredom, coming from a highly active mind of higher intellegence. Work with your son, read to him as often as he allows it. color with him, and keep lots of activities around him. Make learning fun and get his attention that way. He will seem to grow closer to you, as he WANTS to learn new things daily, and knows who to go to!

Just some suggestions. I do hope this helps soothe your heart and mind.

Answer 9

It is normal. My son was like that until about a year or so old, and he is perfectly healthy, active, no delays, etc. Babies are not born with the ability to love. This is something that they need to be shown. And breastfeeding is not the only way to be close to your child. My son couldn't be breastfed because he was on a feeding tube and I pumped breastmilk for his first 10 weeks and we have a VERY strong bond.

Answer 10

All kids are different. My 8-month old is the opposite. I am beginning to think we are attached at the hip. She is not happy with anyone else but me. It is a mixed blessing (how can I possibly return to work in 3 months?!)

My 3-year old was happy with anyone when she was 8 months old.

So each child is different. There will be a time that you will be proud of raising an independent child.