alright. I have just starting working full time again, I work 12 hour mid shifts and am picking OT as much as possible. my check this friday will be for 107 hours!
MY husband will not cook food, will not go to the grocery store, will not help with house work. I do it ALL.
I get so angry! On my days off I have to clean the house, do the grocery shopping, plan a weeks worth of meals and prepare them BEFORE I go to work. I do the laundry.. and if I throw the dry clothes on the bed and ask him to fold them... he "forgets" and piles the now heavily wrinkled unfolded clothes on the dresser.
We have only had sex 5 times since September 05! (and that was a chore too)
I get tired of pulling as much work or MORE outside of the house, and being expected to do it all at home too.
Does any other women put up with this?
We dont do anything together anymore, we dont even go see the same movies.
I know hes not cheating, hes always at home.
I am lonely in my marriage
2007-08-21 14:12:09 · 22 answers · asked by grapelady911 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am considering divorce. because he wont go to counseling.. heck I cant even get his butt off the couch to take a walk with me.
2007-08-21 14:14:32 · update #1
HA, we live in a condo so he doesnt even have yard work to do!
and trust me. I wouldnt have time to do it either iI had to... and up till 2 yrs ago.. I did that too.!
2007-08-21 14:30:38 · update #2
Sounds like someone is only thinking of himself. He is doing everything that he wants, and doesn't think he has to help you at all. He needs to relalize that a marriage is a partnership and to make it work, that you BOTH have to work at it. And his selfishness is affecting your relationship.
Do you think while your at work that he may be looking at porn? He may be on-line talking with people or other women while your working. And being that your working, he thinks that he doesn't have to do anything.
I think that you both need to go to marriage counceling. It could really help. But he needs to get his head out of his butt and get off his butt and realize that it takes 2 to make the marriage work, not 1, and that you can't do it all. I used to be the same way, thinking only about myself, and I didn't help out much at all around the house. And my wife and I almost divorced because of it. Marriage counceling really helped us alot. But I had to have a change of attitude, and had to change from being selfish, to self less.
I can understand why you havn't made love much either, because if he's not going to show you that he loves you, your thinking, why should I have sex if he's not going to show much interest.
Hope that this helps.
Take care and God Bless
2007-08-21 15:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you need to leave. If you are working 107 hrs a paycheck, you should not be cleaning house. You have a few options
1. Stop doing everything, when there is nothing to eat and no clean clothes he may take notice.
2. Use some of that OT and get a cleaning service and while you are at it, order your groceries from Peapod. Start giving yourself a break, he will realize that is money you could have used for something else if he would have just helped a little.
3. Take your kids and leave, collect child support and try and find happiness again.
2007-08-21 14:19:56 · answer #2 · answered by Donna J 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Divorcing him will not make you less tired, improve your sex life or get your house clean. Tell him that he can either take some of the responsiblity off of your hands or you will 1) spend money to pay someone else to do it or 2) you will cut back your hours so that you will have more time. Be willing to follow through with it. I had the same problem and now he even buys groceries.
2007-08-21 14:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by TAT 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are really living this life, I have to say you need to make some changes and that's putting it mildly. I'm not sure I know of anyone who would put up with what you are. I didn't see anything about kids in your schedules so move out and move on. Your guy can pay someone else to do the work you're doing. He is a true sloth.
2007-08-21 14:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your TODAYS modern wife, minus the sex, that is the only thing I see different from any other woman I knows life. Hey they figure they work, take out the trash and mow grass in the summer, why should they do any more. You are not a maid you are a wife with a husband who either does not like sex, or is having problems with MR. THINGY. Leaving won't help, you'll just meet another Jerk, who is the same way in 2 years. GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-21 14:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a boyfriend like that once. He worked when he felt like it, and played tennis the rest of the time.
One day when he was showering prior to going to work, I slipped his house key off his key ring. He didn't notice and left for work. While he was gone, I packed up every single belonging that he had and put them in the garage. Then I locked all the doors.
He tried to talk himself back in but I had already made my decision. That's what you have to do. Make a decision and stick to it. You can't change him, you can only change the way you respond to him. The ball is in your court. You deserve better than him.
After he's gone, hire a maid to help you with the household duties and then go have some fun! Anyone who works as hard as you do, deserves to be pampered, not abused & taken advantage of.
2007-08-21 14:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Will you marry me!! A hard working woman, who likes sex!! Wow! I'll help with the house work. cook some meals and watch any movies you want! As long as the sex is good I'm happy!!
But really just tell him how you feel, either he shapes up or your shipping him out! Try to work it out, but if he won't or will not help 50/50 then he is giving you no choice!!
Good luck ;)
2007-08-21 14:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you've only had sex 5 times since '05, your obviously lousy in the sack! Give me a call - first 2 lessons will be free (your husband won't even notice anyway.
2007-08-21 14:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by dazza1422000 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi, sounds like me. Well, he might be change in the future. How old is he? Men are mature in their 40th. My husband is doing house chores now. One of my friend told me that it took her husband 30 years talking trash out the house. Try to talk to him. Good Luck!
2007-08-21 14:49:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couples often go into relationships with different agendae, and they never come to terms with the differences.
Nobody ever sits down before marriage with a paper explaining what they're agreeing to, expecting to recieve, expecting to give.
You can still do it, ex post facto.
2007-08-21 14:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jack P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋