meeting someone i know from the internet?

Question

i was just wondering, from a guys perspective, how do i know if a guy i meet on the internet only wants a "relationship" for sex? this guy i've been talking to for a while wants me to meet him and said he'd pay for half the plane ticket, but i'm not sure if he just wants sex. how do i know? please don't give me any warnings about how this can be dangerous, i already know that, and we are both adults.

Answer 1

I'm a guy, and I'd say you don't know . usually people on the internet looking for a girl are 1) really desperate 2) really introverted and maybe even weird 3) cheating on his wife.

i'm not warning you, it's just common sense.

Answer 2

No warnings, you are an adult and know this is dangerous? The red flags are at full mast. He wants to pay half of your fare? You don't know what he wants? A guy's perspective?

Please give the men of this forum enough credit to know what the woman will say " don't go there!".

If someone were to truly want to meet you and see how things turned out they would fly in. stay at a hotel/motel meet you for coffee then meet your family and friends, and then and only then talk about a future. You, as a woman should never do the same, and if the guy doesn't get that then he is no good. Not to burst your bubble but the most heinous crimes are committed by adults. Please be careful!

Answer 3

You would have to define how long "a while" is. The question you need to ask yourself also is are you gonna allow the both of you to get into that situation of having sex. I would not do that, especially on a first meet. People can be anybody on the internet so you seriously need to be careful. I don't care if you already know it or not. I have heard, read and seen stories about sadistic freaks out there. Just don't let him get you in a place where you are alone with him. I would even stay at a hotel and not his place.

Answer 4

The only way you'll know is if you make him come to you the first time, do not fly all the way out there. If you find that when you get there he wants sex and you're not ready you don't want to be left stranded in a strange state where you don't know anyone (it happened to me I had him change the flight to an earlier one so I could get the hell out) it was really depressing. This way if he comes down to you, have him stay in a hotel and see how it goes. If you want to get away from him all you have to do is go home.

If he really wants to meet you he'll have no problems doing this and staying in a hotel. If he can't afford to pay for the ticket then you shouldn't offer to split the costs, don't get into that habit, or he'll expect it all the time.

Be safe.

Answer 5

Hmm well considering what you have said he seems like he may want a relationship, if he is willing to pay for half your plane ticket then he is willing to consent and be in a relationship with you. As everyone knows yes it could be dangerous and because i feel i have to i'm going to say it, but if you do decide to go out and meet him, please be careful, make sure somebody knows that you are going and for how long, if anything happens contact someone and if you do end up there for longer than you are supposed to be makes sure somebody is ready to come and get you.

Answer 6

If you still have some of the emails that he sent you.You might want to go back and re read them again. How does he write what does he write about. Has he asked you any personal questions about your sex life. If hes got the money to buy you a ticket to visit him. Then I would tell him to come visit you Let him stay at a hotel make plans for the weekend with him. If things don't work out he'll be the one who has to broad the plane

Answer 7

Well, is he paying for a hotel room? What did he say when you asked him why he wanted to meet. I'll share good and bad - I met the love of my life online - but in the same city. So that has been great! But a friend went to meet her online friend, they had a great time, one night during the stay they ordered pizza to their hotel room, he was in the shower told her to get the money from his wallet - there she found a picture of his wife and kids. She took the money, left the wallet and left him. He was embarrassed when she told him on the phone why she would never see him again. So good luck - some people online are wonderful, some are not. Just like real life - amazing huh? ;-)

Answer 8

Being an adult does not make you immune to the crazies out there. You need to have this guy checked out, and do not go to meet him in a strange city by yourself. If he wants to meet you and is sincere then let him come to you, and only meet him in a public place with a trusted friend along.
Be smart so that some day you will be able to meet your special someone.

Answer 9

I know you're hoping to hear from guys, but I just wanted to give you a quick tip. I met my boyfriend (we've been together for 5 years now) on match.com, and we met in a public place and I brought my cousin along with me. I was also an adult at the time, but was afraid of the creepy guys that could be out there. Hope your date goes well!

PS. I've also dated lots of jerks who wanted to use me. Watch out for a guy who is overly-nice and almost sucking up to you. Those are the fake ones. If all he talks about is your looks and keeps talking about how beautiful you are, I would beware. Pay close attention to what he wants to talk about.

Answer 10

I wouldn't go see him if you just met him. You don't know who is out there. If it's serious you guys will hold off from meeting each other for another good while. I met my bf online who I am living with at the moment. We didn't see each other until a year after we first started talking. Make sure if you meet him its somewhere public and if you go visit him that you have someone with you close by.

When I came down to see my bf, I had an aunt that had just moved to his area. I spend the nights with her, and hung out with my bf during the day. Just in case if anything I had my aunt and her famiy near by.

Becareful

cc:

Answer 11

I'm not a guy but I think I can help. It depends on the content of your conversations. I suppose you both may talk about sex a lot, which has caused you to worry about his intentions. If it were me I would definitely try to ask him what he wants to do when we meet and hang out. If you feel uneasy about things then don't go, and yeah you never really know who anyone is or their intentions which is kinda scary.