My husband goes to work at 6:45 am. I see him about 5 mins before leaves. He gets home at 5:45 pm. He then has dinner, watches TV and/or reads a book. Then by 8:30 or 9:00 he is sawing logs on the couch. While he is reading or watching TV he is totally obsorbed in it and most times when I try to talk to him, he doesn't even know I'm talking.
Weekends he does his yard work or rides his dirt bike.
I say we don't spend enough time together. At least "quality" time together. He says that he is here every night. He considers his reading/watching TV on the couch across the room from me to be "time together".
Do you consider it time together to just be in the same room even if you aren't engaged with each other?
2007-08-21 13:38:08 · 14 answers · asked by Crunchy Sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No it's not. It's up to you to fix this tho. Just arrange something for the two of you to do on the weekend and let him know he has plans for that day and time. Just try to make it something that he'll actually enjoy doing to encourage him to want to do this more often. Inform him that this will occur with some regularity and to expect and accept it. No asking him, no please this or that. Just this is what's happening, be prepared to be there. I've generally found that my husband seems to deal with this approach much better than making some generalized plans to do something at some point. Really they would rather be told what to do and when rather than them actually having to try to figure out for themselves what to do to make you happy. Good luck.
2007-08-21 13:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least he comes home... Making a marriage work takes constant effort on both sides. You sound like you are bored and in a rut. Are you a stay at home mom? It's hard to give advice without all the facts.
My guess is he is probably tired in the evenings after work, so perhaps after a dinner together at the table, no TV, a time when you can talk, you could give him space then, some down time.
Do something of your own during that time and stop projecting clinginess. Perhaps you could read too?
In return, perhaps he can make time to engage with you in some fun activity you can both enjoy on the weekends.
Just a thought.
2007-08-21 14:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I don't consider it spending quality time together, especially if that's the only time your'e spending.
Do you try to get him to do other things besides the reading and watching TV? Maybe suggest taking a walk after dinner or doing yard work together.
2007-08-21 13:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just a thought, maybe try a new avenue of approach. Have you thought of curling up on the couch next to him? You could enjoy the closeness and make it quality time without denying him his time of relaxation.
You could also suggest doing something together every once in a while, like taking a walk or beginning a new hobby together that you could both look forward to.
2007-08-21 13:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no!!!!!! me and my boyfriend have lived together for a couple years and that has been our one fight that is reoccuring over and over. its probaly a reason we're not married yet. he sits on the couch and plays wii or watches tv and gives those one word answers that you know he doesnt know what he's saying. then he plays his drums 3 times a week for like 6-8 hours up at his practice space. and he has the nerve to call eating dinner while watching tv "quality" time. bull!! he just left a few hours ago and we just had another argument about this! he's an only child so i think that had a lot to play in why he acts this way. good luck! we need it!!!
2007-08-21 14:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by Rileysmom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not quality time at all. It is good that he is there. My husband is often traveling, leaving my alone w/ the kids. Try just being honest with him. Tell him what you'd like for the two of you to do together. I am sure you guys have things in common, and could have a lot of fun together.
2007-08-21 13:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Cathy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I purely incredibly evaluate it spending time jointly if we do some thing afterwards. whether it incredibly is purely putting out together with his buddies for a couple of minutes after the interest having a lager or some thing. whether it incredibly is purely watching the interest it does help the relationship. As you're displaying an pastime in what he likes to do. you're taking holiday of your day to tutor you care.
2016-11-13 03:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider it time together, but I certainly would not consider it quality time together. Relationships are built upon quality time together. I would sit down with your husband and explain your feelings as soon as possible. What he doesn't know will only hurt the two of you. Express your thoughts, ask for his input and see if you can find a happy medium: time to himself, time together and quality time together. Everything is worth a try.
2007-08-21 14:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are being neglected. If he is tired after work then I can understand his actions, but what's the deal on the weekends? Seek help!
2007-08-21 14:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by mab5096 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Be grateful he's not at the bar, but you deserve more. Try vacuuming in lingerie to get his attention and if that doesn't work... go get a mani/pedi and hire a hottie personal trainer to cheer yourself up!
2007-08-21 13:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋