Why is it so wrong?

Question

I am 17 years old and 17 weeks pregnant and I get criticized for saying 13 is to young to have sex and that I dont know what a real relationship is? There are so many changes you go through between 13 and 17, I dont even see how someone can compare that. I am not stupid and a little kid, I dropped outta high school last year and went and got my GED.

So make me understand how I am even close to a 13 year old kid?

and for the people who are going to say i should be married, I am and have been for about a year now. my boyfriend is 21 years old and a great job.

oh yeah and in missouri its not illegal for a 17 year old and a 21 year old.17 in missouri and you can screw anyone you want

i still basically call him my boyfriend, cause husband sounds so old to me

Answer 1

I Agree with you, there is such a HUGE difference between a 13 year old & a 17!! you are not even developed at 13 yet.. it's gross they are having sex.. i dont even think they have any hair or anything.. i mean.. CHILDREN.. at 17 i was having sex, most of us were.. so don't take the BS of those girls.. i am 21 & 15 wks pregnant.. and many people will say there is such a difference between 17 & 21... well i dont think so, just that i am legally an adult & you are not, but that has nothing to do with maturity & emotional stability.. i think you talk like an adult not a kid..

Of course there are 17 year olds who are just a mess, i admit i was one of those (lol) but there are also 30 year olds who are an even bigger mess..

You sound all grown up, i wish the best for you & your family!!
God Bless!!!

Answer 2

It is very good that you are married...that gives you some kind of experience...and, yes you are more mature than the average 13 year old. However, everything looks different on paper meaning that, although you may be comfortable with how things are in your life, when you put the situation into words and describe them to those who have no idea who you are, you are going to get criticized. That's why it is better to just live your life for what it is and not depend so much on the opinion of others...people will drive you crazy with all their different opinions and views on what life should be!

At the same time, I am only 22 and I realize that at 17, I thought I had the world figured out because I was almost 18. At 19 I thought I was where I needed to be in life just because I had a good job...and decided to have a baby....then when I turned 21 I realized that I did not experience anything because everytime I wanted to do anything with my friends who were young, fly and free...I had to find a babysitter first. My point is that you should never think you have it all figured out...you will be learning about life until the day you die.

But (yes, there's a but) if the family life is the life you have chosen, then don't let anything make you have regrets. I have chosen to raise a family since I had already started one, but just don't have any regrets....whatever you do.

You should be proud to have a husband. If you would like to be viewed as the adult that, technically. you are, then you need to carry yourself as one. I am not coming down on you, just giving a little friendly advice. It is not very wise to refer to your husband as your boyfriend...you are a wife and a mother and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish you the best of luck with everything and don't let these ignorant morons who call you names based off of the biased opions they have.

Answer 3

You are young, but capable of being a great mother to your baby. THere are just some things that you need to take to heart and ponder on. Are you ready to grow up so fast? Most 17 year olds are dating and having fun, going to parties, getting ready for college and generally focused on being really social and having fun. As a mother, you need to put your baby first at all times and that can be a great sacrifice for a 17 year old. You can't go out and party with friends very often, you will be home taking care of your baby.
If this baby wasn't intended and you don't feel 100% ready to take on such a huge responsibility, adoption is a great option. There are many couples who can't have children and are praying for the opportunity to be parents.
Good luck with all of the preparations. You can be a great mother if you want to be and don't let others be discouraging to you.

Answer 4

I agree that there is a HUGE difference in 13 and 17. I was 15 when I had my first baby and I was a horrible mother, I had no idea what to do and what not to do. My mom basically had to take care of him because I was too immature to know how and when I did have him with me I drug him around to my friends houses and did exactly what I would be doing if he wasn't around cause I wasn't responsible enough to change what I wanted to do..... Then I had my second child when I was almost 18 and I was the complete opposite. I was the best mom in the world and I still am. Those couple of years make a world of difference when it comes to maturity. But we're still very young so no matter what we say or do we will always be looked down on by older mothers, its human nature.

Answer 5

There is a negative and a positive way anybody on the outside could look at your situation....... but, in the end what strangers think has no relevance on your life. They will never pass you on the streets and if they do they dont know you, So dont be upset by what someone tells you is right or wrong. You have already made your choices, and you have to stick to them. As we grow up we make a series of mistakes no mater what age we are....... the important thing is that we learn and grow from the mistakes we make and decisions we made. You have obviously done this........ by getting your ged, your with the father and seem happy to be pregnant. So my advice to you is......... Stop being worried about what others think.... the damage is done. So live with your choices and make the best of the life you have. Focus the next couple of months on figuring out what you believe in..... and how you can better yourself...... dont focus on what other people feel you have done wrong.

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. Being 17 is nothing at all like being 13!!!!! 13 year olds are interested in the latest Disney Star, kiddie-pop star, and the like. They have no idea of what high school is like, and no real concept on the real world. That is how I feel.

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first, he's 17 months old now and is just hilarious. I got criticized a lot, too. I got hate mail from my family, friends stopped talking to me. I got pregnant the summer before senior year. I talked to my guidance counselor and she made it so that I could graduate in January instead of May. I couldn't stop the criticism, it came from all angles. Strangers, friends, family, teachers, and peers. Sometimes it was all I could take to not want to rip their heads off. I just had to ignore it. When you have your baby and people start seeing how great of a mom you are, they'll start to loosen up. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my second. I was 18 when I had my oldest son, 19 with my second, who is 8 weeks old. I was not married when I had my first child. He was 4 months old when his father and I got married. People might tell you that having a child changes everything, and it didn't for me. I did come out with a totally different outlook on life, but it was more of a "my child comes before myself and anyone else" kind of view. Having two children changed my relationship with my husband, among other things. But we are still happily married and probably always will be. Congratulations to you on your baby, and good luck! I wish you the best and hope you have a happy, healthy baby.

Also, I just was reading some of the answers up here, and (a) you are not a moron! For Heaven's sake! And let's see about this age thing... My husband was 24 when we hooked up, I was actually 15 days short of being 17, so shoot me. He was 25 when our first was born, and he's 26 now. So we have a 7 year age difference, what gives!!??

Answer 7

there is a world of difference between 17 and 13. but to most of the people who view this forum there is a world of difference between 17 and their ages, hun. i'm 26 and 40 weeks pregnant and i can't even imagine being pregnant at 17. but each person is different, all i can say is to keep your head up, love yourself and your child. your already pregnant, your married, its not like some other situations. i've been criticized for not being married though i dislike the institution and i'm not even christian so getting married just for tax write-offs is just insane. realistically though, you can understand why its not ideal to most people's ideas and worlds for a 17 year old to get pregnant? I believe we'd rather you be out at sleep-overs, being a kid still, enjoying a senior year in high school, looking forward to college. its not really the fifties anymore when girls are highly encouraged to go from high school to marriage haha. but keep your head up and try to understand their perspective.

Answer 8

13 IS too young to have sex. you're probably not getting criticized for having that view--but maybe people think you should have practiced what you preached. Married or not, 17 is too young to have a baby. Just like the 13 year old in his/her own mind thinks he/she's ready to have sex...you in your own mind, think you're ready for this baby.
You still have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sure you'll be upset when you read this, but it's true. there's also a big difference between a 21 year old man and a 17 year old girl.
you can't "un-do" mistakes, so make the best of this. take care of your body--and be the best mom that you can be at 17. Don't have too much pride to ask for help. you will need it. good luck to you.

Answer 9

Don't let it bother you. Don't even waste your time asking people on here, most people on here are judgmental, sterotype, religious nut cases, who criticize people who do not agree with them. My husband got his GED and went to college and now owns his own business. An education is an education and good for you for getting one. Also who cares if you're married or not. All that matters is that your baby has two loving parents. I don't care what anyone says, getting a divorce is as easy and just as common as break ups. If you are happy with your life then why let people bug you. People keep telling you that you're not an adult until your 27? Well screw those people. I have met plenty of people in their late 20's who are very immature and I have also met plenty of people who are 17-early 20's and they can be so much more mature then someone older. In certain cases age is not always a factor. So basically what I am saying, who cares what other people think, in the end you end up having the last laugh. Good for you for finishing your education (any education is better then no education), for staying with the babies father, and for taking care of yourself. Goodluck and congrats on your baby.

Answer 10

Some people are more mature than other people are. I am 25 and I know some girls that are 17 and pregnant and they act like they are 13. It just depends on how mature you are. That could be why people are saying that. Good for you getting your GED, that shows that you are taking control of things. Good Luck…..