i am his first,,, can i stay his only?

Question

I am 25 I have a five year old daughter and have been in a few serious relationships. I know the difference between lust and love and have sewn my wild oats so to speak. my finance is 21. he was virgin until me. not because he is ugly or he couldn't get any girls. he says it was because he is picky. now that he has had sex he love's it, you could say he's an addict,, but then again what man isn't. we are saposed to be getting married some time in the next year or so but im scared. can a man really go through his life and only be with one girl? I know he is very much in love with me and would never do anything to hurt me but will curiosity get the best of him? he's still young and there's allot of women out there. i guess the fact that he held out for the "right one" should reassure me but i have found it hard to trust men from some of my past experiences.

Answer 1

It is not important to be his only; it is important to be his last so don't be selfish. You have had yours; encourage him sow his wild oats. If sex is the only reason he is marrying you, that is not a good basis for marriage. Now you are new and exciting but sooner or later he is going to be extremely curious to know what it is like to have sex with other women. Better now than when he is 35.

After the new with you wears off, he is going to realize that you and every guy he knows has gone to wild sex parties and will want to experience what he missed out on. He needs to get it out of his system. Maybe you should arrange to have 4 to 6 threesomes with other girls or foursomes with other couples. That or just look the other way during the next dozen years when he finds and samples a few other girls.

He knows you have had sex with other men. Don't you think he is going to feel that he deserves the same? If there was this mysterious and wonderful place with wild and exotic pleasures that everyone was talking about, you would want to go there and experience it for yourself.

Answer 2

Don't worry yourself thinking about it. Most women are in denial that their man is only with them. Men do have the curiousity to be with others and most likely they will have more than one. You ever heard the phrase "sewing their wild oats". There is many faithful men out there but you would be surprised of those that the wife has no idea. It doesn't matter if the wife is ugly or beautiful. There are many beautiful women that can't keep their man-look at hollywood. Looks is not everything...just remember some men as well as women, go out to get what they are not getting at home. Try new things and keep his interest. Alot of guys get bored or start running around when the wife at home won't put out. Their wife will never know. Also, sex isn't everything some guys just want someone to communicate with.

Worrying about it won't help anything - trust him. He's home with you......just be yourself and enjoy your time together.

Answer 3

I think if he is very much in love with you that you should get married now instead of waiting until next year or later.

I know many men who have been faithful to one woman only. They go to my congregation, and because they honor G-d and Messiah Yeshua (Jesus), they stay away from sexual immorality. They help hold each other accountable. They hate the damage that infidelity causes.

All men are not two-timers. Some are good, some are bad, and some get stuck in situations they never intended because they didn't draw good enough boundaries when the situation started.

Sex belongs in committed marriage. That is the safest and best place for intimacy and trust to grow... and without trust, there is no real intimacy.

Answer 4

I think that if he was able to wait this long now-a-days then he is willing to keep to just one women. It is a rare man that can keep his virginity that long. If he really wanted to have sex with different women he would have been doing it already. Yes he's young and later in life might be curious what it would be like to be with another person but honestly i think that happens to all married people at some point no matter how many partners they had before they got married. If he loves you he won't act on that thought though. Good luck and Congrats!

Answer 5

Unfortunatly because hes a man, young, first time having sex and addicted you can not totally trust him thats reality. Especially if he does not have the fear of the Lord. Men get tired of the same person . They want someone new, even the ones so much in love. Not all men but most men! Dont put nothing pass him.

Answer 6

I too was in the same situation you are. Only I couldnt trust any man.. but then I meet this man who was a virgin (I was 21) and I found it odd that at his age he was a virgin so I asked him why? He said he wanted to wait for that special person...it was me! well let me just tell you. aside of me feeling guilty that i had other partners and sometimes I wondered if he resented that.(early on i think he sometimes did) I think he thought i should have also been a virgin.
That was 22 years ago our life has been great. We sometimes hit slumps but who doest? We have only been with each other for 22 years. I have questions him about if he ever wondered what it was like to be with someone else, he says why would he, he is perfectly happy with me..... so dont worry girl,,, go with it.

Answer 7

First of all. Either he wasn't a virgin or he couldn't get a girl in the sack. I hate to sound mean but no boy under 21 is soo picky that they go 21 years without sex by choice. Sorry. I know you won't like my answer, but that's the truth with men. Maybe he did want to and had chances but got too nervous tofollow through, but I HIGHLY doubt someone is that picky.

Answer 8

Yes it is possible, but because you are his first I wouldn't jump into marriage, whats the rush, why not wait a little and just see. After the newness of sex wares off sit back and see if he changes. Make sure that it's you he wants and not just the fact that you were his first. I know someone in my family who has been together since they were young teenagers, and I'd be that neither one of them has every been with another person. Today a lot of couple are different, divorce is so easy, people don't try to work out their problems they just divorce them. So move with caution, don't rush into things especially because you've dealt with this before!!!! Good luck !

Answer 9

I don't see any reason he wouldn't remain yours as long as you have a good sex life with open and honest communication.

My dad was a virgin when he met my mother. She was seven years older and had me, he was just 21 and had never been in a serious relationship. They were together for 18 years, until her death. After mom died, he only dated one person and they got married a few years ago. Some men are just cut out for monogamy, same as some women are.

Answer 10

I would trust a guy who can be described as a sex addict... But that's just me.

My husband had had very little experience before me, and it bothered me a little in the beginning - like you, I was wondering if he would regret it later - but I soon realized that it was because he had zero interest in these kinds of "experiences". I figured, if he hasn't developed interest in these things by the time he was in his 30s, he probably never will... But it sounds like your guy is different.

At the end, the decision is yours to make. I may be completely off the mark here. In any case, I wouldn't judge someone solely on the basis of the number of sex partners. But, IMO, experience helps.