i was checking my husbands inbox and found an e-mail written to someone he used to date asking her to meet him in thailand and saying that he missed her. this date was supposed to be on our first anniversary and right after i found out i was pregnant . what should i do?
2007-08-21 11:46:03 · 34 answers · asked by lanoutos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
only you can answer your question ther is much you can do . dont just look for answers here search the net . im not saying you will find answers there either .it really is up to you , yes you must confront him , you will have lots of questions you may not get the answers you want , let go a little , take time for your self speak to family and friends , but dont be influnced , its your descision , stay or leave up to you is it worth saving ? if yes then you must be strong for your relationship will never be the same , if you want this to work seek all the help you can , i have given some sites that may help even if you give up they will help you through your diffcult time good luck
2007-08-21 14:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, know that it's not the end of the world even if it feels like it at the moment.
Secondly, I would confront him about this issue. Especially since you two have a baby to think about. It's time to get serious.
If you two can't work through this (and I hope you can) don't feel that you have to take any sort of treatment just because of the baby. While it's important to try to keep families intact, some situations are better left alone.
I'm sure you'll get other answers about forgiveness, or just to leave him so I won't do into that. I would just say make sure you really try to think it through.
2007-08-21 11:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, Let me start by stating Congratulation! Having a baby is so special even if the man is not perfect! Trust me when I say I been there, I had a husband who was not just a cheater but a white collar criminal. My suggestion is if you can get to speak to a therapist, I know you probably heard it before, but trust me, it can bring important insight and positive reinforcement. In my opinion talking is just talking and men are different creatures then women, Unfortunately, they do have limitations, no one is perfect and one has to ask one self can you live with out him? Will your life be better without him? Don't act in haste...you are not alone, remember you are a strong woman and soon to be a mother! Remember your are truly a special person and deserve to treated so! Don't second guess yourself! And remember if you choose to work on your marriage it is not a weakness but a sign of strength! Don't let people take your act of kindness as a sign of weakness! There don't realise it is your strength!
Take Care ! All the best!
P.S. Remember you are Special!
Angie
2007-08-23 11:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him. My husband never checks my email but I would have no problem with it if he did because *I'm not cheating* on him.
I would also gather my thoughts together about how and when I could leave him (if you don't have a lot of money).
I'm sorry this happened to you, but it's better at one year than it is at, say 20 years of marriage. Just remember you don't deserve the treatment he's giving you.
2007-08-21 11:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might want to do a little research before you confront him, as once you do, he will go underground with this affair. But, don't wait to long.
Gather your evidence and get your 'ducks in a row'. Be sure you are safe.
Confront him. Make it clear that you cannot live like this and your children need more also. If you want to try to save your marriage, then get help now. Try to find a counselor. Your husband need to stop contact with this other woman. He needs to cancel that trip.
2007-08-21 12:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys freak out when they find they are about to become fathers for the first time and try to do stupid things. Some guys are just cheaters. Only you know which kind of guy you married.
If he is/has cheated on you, are you willing to forgive him and deal with trust issues and wondering for the rest of your life?
If you want to work it out with him, you need to confront him and have a really long and HONEST talk. If he is not willing to fess up and try to work things out, then I would say talk to a lawyer and file papers.
2007-08-21 11:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can truly decide after an honest (hopefully, on his part!) discussion. But a concern I might have about continuing to sleep with him, would be for my health. What if he's cheated and didn't use protection?
2007-08-21 12:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by Heather K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience leave his ***!! I was cheated on so many times, the basT@r% always said he was sorry but continued to do it. We live in a world where you can raise a child on your own.It's hard and it's easier said then done but it's possible. I'm a single mother of a 2yr old and believe me that leaving him was the best desicion ever!!
2007-08-21 12:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by .:*eri*licious*:. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to an attorney with the email. Find out other info to be looking for. You need to build a case and not let your husband know what you know or what you are doing.... VERY IMPORTANT if you want to win!
It is very hard but you will get through this. He will continue to make you wonder and feel un-important.
Make sure you have a strong support system - friends and family. Only let the very closest of people know what is happening. They can not judge him, he still is the father of your child.
Your child needs to have him in their lives, unfortunatly I know!!!
It is not easy but well worth it... You need to move on, but be smart about it, do not let him talk you out of it or make you feel rotten for "doing this to him" HE DID THIS.
Life will be better and happier... Move on.
2007-08-21 12:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by magenta twinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
print it out and hide it somewhere ur husband wont c it.
for now, just dont mention it. since everything is going fine, i guess u wouldnt want to break ur family apart for something that happened long time ago. maybe he just wanted an adventure or something, maybe he wasnt that serious to that woman. the important thing is that today, he is with u..
but if someday u want to divorce or u find out that he is still cheating on u and u r tired of it (and want to get divorce) then, u might want to show this email to ur lawyer and i guess the lawyer would find a job for the email.
the last decision was for the worse. hope everything goes fine between u two.
wish u luck
2007-08-21 11:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by Linda1314 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋