Is it normal for a 14 year old to get really depressed about life just in general? Is it hormones or what? or is it just how my life has been? ummm,let me explain.. my mom is a complete alcoholic and never calls me(i live with my dad)but on the rare occasions when she does she's drunk and she blames all her life's mistakes on me which causes me to fail classes have to see a counselor,etc. she also does drugs and won't quit, when i use to live w/her things were just as bad,her bf's would slap her around,she'd end up in jail i'd get hit, i would have to run away,she would also come home with a different guy every night she didn't show up for a whole day i didn't know where she was,that day just so happened to be my 7 b-day. she has also had 3 different kids from 3 differnt guys and she barely ever talks to them either.the point is is that im always feeling like i wish i would just die some days and im always depressed and everything. please help me.. is this normal?
2007-08-21 11:36:17 · 6 answers · asked by darkness in the suburbs... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
every family has their own issues... mine is the same as urs... my b-day is in jan, hers is in march... she celebrates it (sends me a card cause she moved away) on her b-day..she gave birth me u'd think she could remember.. but all the booze n drugs... im 21 now, she moved away when i was 16 n been a lot happier ever since... i've done the bad grades, counslers, theropy etc... its very depressing; all of it... but u gotta remember, u are u, not her. it sucks how she is, but u need to live ur life. if u wanna chat more about it IM me
2007-08-21 11:50:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sick of F*ckwits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers don't always realise what a huge influence they have on their children, do they? But you evidently do, because you start by asking if it's normal to feel "really depressed about life just in general", and go on to give a powerful reason why you feel like that - your mother's appalling behaviour!
I think feeling depressed and out of sorts is probably quite usual for anyone in their teenage years, from time to time, and that is often due, as you mention, to the huge hormonal changes going on in their body. But you are contending both with those physical changes and a mother whose behaviour shows quite clearly that she is certainly incapable of being a mother to you.
The teenage years are a time when every girl needs her mother's presence and support, and yours can't give you that. However good your dad may be to you, because he is a man he can't provide what a mother can in this situation, and that's really tough on you.
Have you got any female relatives you like and are close to with whom you could spend time and talk this through? If there's nobody in the family, what about a teacher you like, or a counsellor at school? Does your dad know how you're feeling? Could he find some help for you?
I wonder if part of the depression is that because you haven't had your mother around for a while, and because you find her behaviour and lifestyle so erratic and difficult to cope with, you're frightened that you yourself might end up like her? If this is a problem for you, remember that you are not your mother. You are yourself, a unique and special person, who will make her own choices in life as she grows up, and isn't inevitably going to turn out like her mother.
But you need to find someone to off-load your anxieties and worries, fears and problems. Sharing them with someone who is understanding and sympathetic will give you the support and comfort that you really need.
I hope some of this might help you just a little, as you are going through such a difficult time, and trying to grow up and find something to look forward to and to aim for in your future.
wimsey
2007-08-21 12:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal to not like your situation, but don't let it gt you down. I know that's easier said than done, but it's only going to add more trouble in your life. Turn to God, pray and watch to see all the things He does in your life. He will help you to still be standing when the storms come. You will always have storms happening in your life, but if you let God He'll help you through them. As for your MOm, its it possible to not accept her calls when she's drunk? To explain to her that you don't want to talk to her like that and that if she calls and is drunk you won't speak to her. I still have to do this with my Dad. Try to look at the good things, that this is brining. Like for instance, my dad was the same with me and I learned what being a alcoholic does to a person and a family, that has helped me to stay away from alcohol and a lot of other problems I would've had to go through.
2007-08-21 11:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not normal and whatever your mum does you aren't the reason for her misery. Unfortunately she is using you as an excuse for doing drugs and drinking. She is an adult so she is responsible of her actions. I know its hard coming from your mum. Have you considered councilling? or maybe you can talk about it with an adult like your dad or a trusted person. A piece of advice choose the life you want to live and focus on having a positive attitude. We are who we are not what others think of us.
2007-08-21 11:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by romaica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry Ur mom is such a b***** (no offense) u do deserve better when u get older move out and start new. even i get depressed and I'm 13!
2007-08-21 11:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by non yo beezness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need some serious therapy for all of the physical, mental and emotional abuuse u went thru.
2007-08-21 11:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋