The straight facts:
Him:
-24yrs old
-history of depression
-limited dating experience
-never had an erection long enough to penetrate a partner for sex
-uncomfortable talking about problem with doctors
Her:
-23 yrs old
-limited dating experience
-unusually small vaginal opening due to large hymen coverage
-anxious about possible pain/discomfort during sex
Great relationship, friends for 5 years, dating for 7 months, talking about marriage, satisfying sex life (manual, oral, toys etc) but we still can't have intercourse! We might want kids someday!
Anyone with advice? Is there a good way for him to talk to his doctor about this? Is there something she can do to help him maintain his erection for sex?
2007-08-21 11:07:03 · 7 answers · asked by ay ya 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Ok let's break this down into a section for each of you. I'll start with him since you described him first. Since you say that you have a satisfying sex life I can only guess that he is able to maintain an erection when it doesn't involve penetration. This would then suggest that he is experiencing a mental barrier to intercourse probably performance anxiety. There are several techniques that you might find helpful to over come this. One is to have him close his eyes while you allow him to penetrate you. That way he won't be able to react nervously to the idea of intercourse. If that doesn't work the best thing is to keep sexual activities as low stress as possible. If he must talk to his doctor just reassure him that doctors hear of issues like his everyday and that it is not uncommon.
As for you, the large hymen can likely be taken care of by your doctor which might prevent a great deal of your discomfort when you do have intercourse. Just check with your doctor for details. If that isn't an option, toys might help to detach the hymen somewhat so that the first time you have intercourse it will not be as painful.
It sounds like you both love each other so just be sure to be patient with each other and let nature take its course.
2007-08-21 11:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Shrink2B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"unusually small vaginal opening due to large hymen coverage"-that one got me-He needs to relax, and spend a night trying-I would! Really, Depression is the key thing with him. If you do not feel good about yourself-you can hardly feel like you deserve someone to love-I know, I suffered and lost a 27 year marriage. If you can get him hard and then quickly let him penetrate a bit-just the glands, I think he'll see what he is missing. AND he needs to talk this out with his therapist too! Good Luck!
2007-08-21 11:33:57 · answer #2 · answered by NoMeanDogs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to deal with this is for both of you to see a DR. and find out what problems each of you may have.
2007-08-21 11:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well when you said you where talking of marage that was good. already having sex....not so good.
Wait tell you get maried then Ill help more.
2007-08-22 00:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by robertt223 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you sweetheart
Good Luck
2007-08-21 12:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by Yak 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow
2007-08-21 11:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by the black hand 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs professional help.
You don't.
2007-08-21 11:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋