2 virgins with questions?

Question

The straight facts:

Him:
-24yrs old
-history of depression
-limited dating experience
-never had an erection long enough to penetrate a partner for sex
-uncomfortable talking about problem with doctors

Her:
-23 yrs old
-limited dating experience
-unusually small vaginal opening due to large hymen coverage
-anxious about possible pain/discomfort during sex

Great relationship, friends for 5 years, dating for 7 months, talking about marriage, satisfying sex life (manual, oral, toys etc) but we still can't have intercourse! We might want kids someday!

Anyone with advice? Is there a good way for him to talk to his doctor about this? Is there something she can do to help him maintain his erection for sex?

Answer 1

Contact your insurance carrier and see if it covers a sex therapist, or your employer may have a EAP, employee assistance program that will allow you to go. None of the things you mentioned should keep you from enjoying sexual intercourse. There is show on television, a female doctor takes phone in questions about sex Talk Sex, look it up and she if she has a web site, this is a problem for professionals not to be taken lightly, and those of us who are on Yahoo Answers, may be professionals, but not the type you need.

Answer 2

First off, I am not a professional sex therapist. I'm someone with alot of experience. To get things started, there are creams and medication out there to sustain ones erection, xylocaine gel, viagra and sorts. There is also something known as a Chinese Erection Ring (or Cock Ring) It is placed on the flacid penis and as the blood engorges the penis the ring traps the blood maintaining the erection. Be careful with this device for if you leave it on to long it can do some serious damage to the circulation of the penis and you don't want that. Some of them even have a vibrating device in them to give a little extra 'umph' for your partner.
Prolonging an erection without the use of said products is a matter of practice and knowing ones own workings of the body. Masterbation is not only normal, but advidsed in order to read the signs of how the penis is reacting to certain stimuli. You yourself, or your partner adjust movement, technique, speed, tempo and so on to accomodate either stamina or climax. You must remember that sex is fun. It is vital to a good healthy relationship and if, from what I uunderstand, your future looks good together, I suggest that this be approached with kindness and tenderness and a sense of adventurous play. Together you can work this out and get closer trying. For him make it a game, masterbate him but at his pace. Read the signs his body, his face his breath make and adjust to prolong his erect state. Today it might be five minutes, tomorrow eight and so on. If all else fails, the reason that you feel uncomfortable talking to your doctor, is that you've probably known him too long. Get a new one and hit him with this dilema first thing. Get your answers and move back to your other doctor. The free clinic make help you as well. Do not forget the more reknown sex shops. They will hav a wide assortment of products that will be of help to you. You can browse around at your own pace and the two of you you can make an afternoon out of it in complete anonimity.
Good luck with you 'Him', hope I could help.

As for 'Her', there will be pain and discomfort upon hymen tear. It happens to alot of women, then again you may be one of the many that will feel nothing. It is not unlike pulling a tooth, once it's gone...it's gone. As far as pain during sex, again there is lots of time to practice and find out what is comfortable for you. Masterbation with toys ought to give you an idea of what works and doesn't.

As far as limited dating goes, it's overated! Enjoy each other. Be kind to each other and enjoy this 'adventure' that will bring you both the pleasure you are looking for.

Just my opinion.

Answer 3

Get a penis ring. Make sure it is the rubber kind. The ring holds the blood in the penis and his erection will last for as long as you want it to. He can't come, though. Can he maintain an erection during oral pleasure? Can he make himself ejaculate? If so, then he's paranoid about the actual penetration and that is all in his mind.... Drugs won't help with that. If you are both virgins at 24 and 25, then you have some hang-ups about sex (not a put-down, just that he was probably taught it was a sin before marriage or something). Worrying about going to hell will play havoc with any man's erection, right? It will probably work itself out. Try the ring.

Answer 4

stop thinking about it! take your time, but go by feel. if he can't keep it up very long don't try to make him. it will come back as long as the mood is maintained. if she afraid of pain, work up to penetration. use fingers, toys and whatnots to ease into something more natural. take it from a couple that has similar issues. men can have mutiple orgasms, just keep having fun with each other until he comes to attention again. by you both should be ready for the real thing. don't give up.

Answer 5

I don't agree that he needs to see a doctor. It sounds like both of you are a little nervous about having sex for the first time and that's normal. Try some other intimate things like you've been doing. Don't put any pressure on yourselves to "perform". It will happen when the time is right.

Answer 6

Bottom line: He needs to talk with a health care professional about his problem. It may be physical, mental or emotional, but there is no way to know it or fix it if he doesn't talk to someone. I stayed with someone for 4 years who had a similar problem (we were able to have lame to mediocre sex...) and it isn't worth it. He may be a fabulous guy, but he has some very deep issues that will eventually permeate every aspect of your relationship until you think of him as a brother and you aren't enjoying the relationship anymore. TRUST ME. Take care of this NOW. IF he isn't willing to work on it for himself or you, dump him. It's harsh, but there's no reason for you to suffer because he can't deal with his issues.

Answer 7

for him: you shouldn't´t have any problems talking to your doc. you would be surprised how many man have the same issue and if it makes it easier take her with you it´s always easier to deal with this kind of stuff as a couple.
for her: don´t worry just relax and enjoy it. if you are relaxed you´ll minimize any possible discomfort.

Answer 8

You can try otc things other wise you should both talk to a doctor about it because your guy could have erectile disfunction which is a serious condition that you should talk to your doctor about treatments.

Answer 9

just tell him to go to the doctor, there could be something wrong w/ his prostate that is causing this or if not, the doctor may be able to cure this w medacine

Answer 10

during sex time, ask him to focus on something else and to relax my slow and easy