I am not the OW, I am the wife, and I have a ? for the OW out there.. If you talked to you lovers wife, and answered her questions, were you honest, did you lie, did you eggarate? Did you tell her things cuz you thought you were doing the right thing, or did you tell her things, in hopes of poisoning her mind against her husband, so she'd leave him and he could be all yours? How many OW actually ask the man if he's ever cheated on his wife before, or ask him why he is cheating? This OW in my life, told me she asked my husband both ?'s and his answers, according to her, were yes he has cheated before and he is currently doing it cuz he aint happy.
I just want to "pick the brain" of women who have been "the other woman" before.
2007-08-21 09:52:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok, i did ask my husband and he denies there being more than one, ofcourse he would deny that, he says she never asked him that question and he does admit to telling her he wasnt happy.
2007-08-21 10:00:37 · update #1
ive never been the other women..nor do i hope that i ever have to deal with this...personally i wouldnt worry about what she has to say...if she knew his was married and still decided to cheat...then what does that really say for her as a person anyways!!!
2007-08-21 10:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by MiZz SaAk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was never the other woman. I am married. I think it is disgusting on both parts. I had a friend who was the other woman. I would repeatedly ask her why? She said it was because she had no one so why not borrow someone elses man. Needless to say it didn't last. The man was a complete pig and moved on to another woman. My friend was also young and insecure. She did almost get caught and she panicked. I don't think she would've even had the guts to talk to the wife! It boils my blood to think women could be so insensitive, but you know what, what comes around goes around. I think there is actually a book that was written by a person that was the other woman. I don't remember the name but I am sure it had "other woman" in the title. Just know that these people are insecure and are scum, so they will seek any attention they can get because no one else can accept their empty souls! Pathetic!
2007-08-21 18:21:46 · answer #2 · answered by greysfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the OW once, he was not married, only dating this girl, and of course, he said she was cheating on him and things were "almost" over, whatever that means, and I was stupid enough to fall, and yes, it is something I regret and feel embarassed about. I could've said no until he was really done, not almost, and I could've double checked his status, so I won't wash my hands, I know I have my guilt in this situation; but let's not take away the blame the men deserve. After all, it's not like I offered, he was the one to push things over a period of many months, and I bet I was not the only one. He was looking, and had he not found it with me, he would've found it with someone else.
I guess what I am trying to say is, any man willing to cheat WILL cheat even if rejected, they'll move on, keep looking. Any man NOT willing to cheat will resist temptation even from Angelina Jolie. Your husband's a scumbag, and you should leave, especially if he is not happy, as he himself said.
BTW, I never crossed words with the girlfriend, she never found out. The day after he cheated on her with me, he came to my place and said he had made a mistake in judging her, and he was very happy with her and not willing to leave her. Divine justice?
2007-08-21 17:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously these people arent helping...It really depends on the OW and what kind of person she is. Your going to think she is a bad person, but she might have just been in a bad situation. I have been the OW and told his girl the truth when she came to me. I was completely honest with her because i had moved on and felt that she was the one who was hurt the most and deserved to hear the truth,if she wanted. The man i was messing with told me about their relationship and it turned from having someone to vent to, to opening a different relationship and creating closeness between us because he felt he couldnt go to her. In some ways that was her fault, but she didnt deserve the way he handeled it. However after hearing all her faults and becoming close to him i could see how it would be easy to make up things to keep her away from him and try to spoil their relationship....hope this helps...
2007-08-21 17:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by soldiersprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not the other woman, i am a wife... but i think you shouldn't even bother asking her point of view... obviously she is selfish and self centered no matter what she asked him or what she is telling you.
if she was a nice person and selfless then she wouldn't put you and your family through all the pain that she is putting you through.
lets say for the benefit of this argument, that she made a mistake and really fell in love with your husband... why would she want to hurt you? why would she want to hurt him?
if she was really a nice person, she would leave him alone and advise him to work on his marriage... or at least stay away from him until he made up his mind of what he wanted... she would not come to you with all the "answers"
2007-08-21 17:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, not all mistresses are whores, or evil scumbags. its just an unfortunate situation. I never saw his wife, nor did I ever speak to her...I don't think I'd be able to. I asked him why he was cheating on her with me; 1. several times he said he doesn't know and once he said his sex life with her was non existant for a few years....which I don't know if I believe since he had a young child.... 2. he said I was the only girl he was cheating on his wife with....(again...I have my doubts...)
when you're the one being cheated on and when you're the other women, you both have a lack of trust with the man (if not all men) some ppl are defending the other woman....but they shouldn;t... don't just blame the man...I blame both myself and him..'it takes two to tango'. of course I didn't know he was married when we started...but thats no excuse later on. every mistress out there and cheating man has their own personal reasons for 'cheating' so I don't think you should judge us before knowing that reason. And I've never actually asked if he's cheated on his wife before me...ignorance in this case, is bliss.
2007-08-21 18:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by Danu 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your problem is your lying cheating husband, not the other woman. He's obviously not going to change, so you've got a decision to make. Otherwise your going to be dealing with more other woman down the road.
2007-08-21 17:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by tigrompy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll not get an honest answer from a woman willing to sleep with a married man.
Why do women do this to other women? My ex-husband cheated and caused immense pain to me and our children and that's something he'll have to deal with for the rest of his life.
But the woman knew he was married and she pursued him. Stupid, stupid woman. I hope she doesn't sleep well at night.
2007-08-21 17:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by leysarob 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be focusing on what to do about your cheating, lying husband...instead of wondering what the other woman has to say !!!
You are married to the guy who is cheating on you....You deserve some answers- FROM HIM !!! The other woman is circumstantial now...HE is the one with the problem because HE made vows to YOU !!!
2007-08-21 16:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by Nena S 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
she is playing your mind so you will leave your husband for her. ignore her. if you still love your husband try to work it out, but he has to willing too. if not let him go where ever he likes. you don't have to talk to the other woman, she does not deserve it.
2007-08-21 17:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by Discovery 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋