Why is cheating considered so wrong?

Question

If you really look at it you're doing nothing more providing a pleasure that you're able to give one another. Is that really so bad?

I think society makes too big of a deal out of it.

Answer 1

Cheating is always unacceptable but let's look into this a bit more. What is cheating?

Is it cheating when your wife is "too tired", yet she can accomplish other daily activities

Is it cheating when "she has a headache" and then refuses a tylenol, because "it's not THAT bad"

Is it cheating when she doesn't initiate sex because, "thats your job". And it's her job to either accept or turn me down. Even stating sex is a "job" is a real pisser.

Is it cheating when after an argument she says " Well if you don't like it go get it somewhere else" as though mocking your fidelity and vows is good for the marriage.

Maybe some of the ladies can answer that one.

P.S Don't preach about housework/romance/phyisical appearance..I do my share around the house, when I'm "romantic" she answers it with " I know why you're being so nice, you just want sex".

Answer 2

If you are in a committed relationship with a person, then you should honor that commitment and not cheat. Otherwise, why be in a relationship at all?

Would you care if your significant other cheated on you? How would you know what kind of STD that person might bring home to you? Condoms don't always work.

Cheating IS a big deal. If you don't think so, you have no business being in any kind of a permanent relationship.

If you're just dating around, you have a right to do whatever you want to do.

If you're just living for "pleasure" you can bestow on everyone, you should steer clear of anything other than casual dating.

Good luck

Answer 3

Why is it wrong?
Try the man raising family #1 and having another family to take care of that you're not married to and having people in town know that you have no money because both women or more are taking money out of your pocket before you can even cash your check. Or the woman raising a child of the married man's that he can't see unless he leaves his wife and first kids for her and her children, or he has to choose to continue living a double life which will one day catch up to him and he'll pay the price then.
Try looking your kids in the eyes and telling them you chose another person over them and your spouse and there's nothing wrong with it you just wanted to give a pleasure to someone, then look up the knowledge of what broken homes and this kind of damage does to children, and the damage can continue long after the child becomes an adult, who then picks out their own mates based on what they know, so it goes on into the next generations.
Try living daily with the looks of hurt in your families' eyes, especially your children who may think it's their faults that you left...If only they'd been good enough, maybe mommy or daddy would not have left. If they were not so bad, maybe mommy and daddy would stay together. And the hope in those children that mommy and daddy would get back together and the lessons or myths they learn from their own parents about marriage. The sanctity of marriage goes down the toilet. Betrayal hurts even the children envolved when they are tossed aside for your providing a pleasure to someone else other than your spouse, and the spouse's pain and bitterness which can mess with his or her ability to take care of the kids because of court cases or distracted minds debating should I stay or go and focus on the cheater and what they did wrong and the other person involved rather than the kids.
Try having to worry if you or your spouse has AIDS or other STDs that can be passed on to the children and other people (such as medical workers or dentists who are providing care for you and your family) and the financial consequences of having to get tested every so often because the cheater won't stop cheating and having to tell others. If the faithful partner does find someone else after divorce, would that someone else want to stay upon knowing the faithful one has herpes or AIDS and can pass it on to the unborn children and the next spouse up in line?
If anyone doesn't think this is bad news, then have fun pleasing others outside the marriage, but don't say we didn't warn you.
I think society does not make a big enough deal out of it because it seems to be a common event to sleep around, like it's sexy and the cool hot thing now, abandon one's children to find oneself in the arms of another, and cheating is not considered cheating anymore, it's a have fun, hedonistic society that doesn't pay attention to teenagers' models, out-of-wed-lock teens, STDs, and what will happen to the future generations.

Answer 4

I also think that society makes too much of a deal out of it. In the end, we are only HUMAN, so we are nowhere near perfect enough to have one partner for our whole lives, and since looking elsewhere for procreation is in our DNA, cheating is somewhat of an instinct to us. I dont remember where i read this statistic, but I recall it saying something like, "it is very rare to find ANY animal species who maintains only one partner throughout their lives," (Google it).
I also believe that what happens in a relationship should only be between them two, so that nosy societal standards can butt the **** out. Some women are turned on by adulterous husbands, and vice versa, and communicating about such things should be celebrated and may even bring the couple closer while practicing it safely and enjoyably, instead of hiding it from each other. Other couples may hate that, and that should be okay if they're both into that.
In the end, we should choose someone whose ideals reflect our own.

Answer 5

Well, there are different ways to see the same issue...in this case, cheating. People do it -and have done it since the beginning of time. But just because some people think it's OK, it doesn't mean it is.

I think we all should live our lives to the fullest...and that is why I don't believe people should marry so young. (They miss out on a lot of things and later on they regret not having done them.) I also believe that marriage, as an institution, is not perfect; but it gives society the order it needs in order to work out. But then again, not everyone is "marriage material", either. Some people just don't have what it takes to make a marriage work.

As for cheating, I think it is just an excuse people make so they can justify their unhappiness. Nobody FORCES someone to cheat; the cheater does it because they WANT to. It is a decision people make- whether to cheat or not.

Finally...I try to live by the golden rule: Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do to you. I have seen the damage and resentment and grief cheating causes; so I don't think it's acceptable or OK. Just my opinion.

Answer 6

It's wrong, If you're not planning on being faithful to someone don't be with them! Don't get into a relationship or marriage thinking you can still be a ladies man! It doesn't work that way! It just ends up in a lot of hurt in the end!

Answer 7

The way I see it..is this:

If you know for a fact that you aren't ready to be in ANY type of committed relationship...whether it's marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend. Then DO NOT get into one.

Because the odds of you cheating are sky high.
So if you know you can't only be with one person, then don't.

.Save yourself and the other person the dramatics of a relationship and don't get involved any further than the bedroom.

.....you can sex up all the people you want, that's not my problem...but when you know you're the type of person who can't be with one person...then continue to be SINGLE and avoid the dramatics and what not.

.....anyways I rest my case.

.

Answer 8

It is wrong because it violates trust, the most crucial component in a relationship. If you want an open marriage, in which both partners agree to be free to cheat, make a deal with your spouse to have such a marriage. Only then do you cheat.

Answer 9

Society makes a big deal of it, because it IS a big deal. You took an oath and swore in front of witnesses that you will FORSAKE ALL OTHERS - - when you choose to poo-poo your promise, you are considered a LIAR - - society does not LIKE, WANT OR NEED people who deliberately LIE - it means you are no longer trustworthy. Society has enough problems dealing with IGNORANCE, we don't want STUPID in our crowd too!!

Answer 10

Because you are HURTING someone by your actions---the one you are CHEATING on!!

Its a betrayal of trust, and a breakdown of the relationship. To most people, it's the worst possible thing to happen in a relationship.

But hey, if YOU are OK with it, go find yourself a cheating mate, and the 2 of you can just stomp all OVER each other's hearts.