Domestic assault?

Question

While going down the road (I was driving), my fiance threw a cheeseburger in my face. I was pissed off, so I pulled off the road to calm down, and he backhanded me. I had a good mind to flag down the first cop I saw, but I was afraid that we would BOTH go to jail, and my daughter would be left alone. I would leave but I have no money to find a place to live (I have been a stay at home mom for the last 7 years), and I am scared that if I do leave, he won't let me see my kids. I wonder if I start documenting all the mental, verbal and physical things he does to me, can I use that in court?

I don't have any friends at all, or any family nearby that can help.

The abuse hasn't been going on for the whole 7 years, it's a fairly recent thing.

Answer 1

yes, you can use documentation in court. but if he is abusive, you shouldn't wait. there are women's shelters everywhere for women who are being abused. just go. and no, you wouldn't have both gone to jail. you can have him arrested on a domestic assault charge and he would go to jail if you pressed charges (which you should) and that would be better documentation than you writing everything down. do something. don't let your daughter see you sit around and take it....don't teach her that.

Answer 2

You should seek out marriage counseling and if he won't go, you should leave him. Unless you take drugs or have serious mental issues, the courts will give you custody of your children as long as you can provide a home for them. The courts almost always side with the mother.

You can go on social services and he'll have to pay you alimony and child support if you're a stay at home mom. Since you don't have anything tying you to this community in the form of a job, you might be able to pick up and move somewhere close to a family member or friend.

Throwing things at you and hitting you is completely unacceptable. You shouldnt' have to live with it and your daughter shouldn't have to witness it. You shoudl start documenting abuse, and call the police every time he lays a hand on you so there's a record. They won't put you in jail if you didn't do anything wrong and don't let him tell you otherwise.

Answer 3

that is a crappy day - for sure.

if he has done this before, you must leave. you can find a shelter situation - you may have to be on a waiting list, but the sooner you start trying to get assistance, the better off you will be.

next time, call the police right away. make sure you have someone - your parents, best friend - to come and get your daughter at a moments notice if things start heating up. get her somewhere else and out of the situation.

yes, document. and take pictures. the next time he does this, nail his sorry asss. you will be afraid, but, in the long-run, you and your kids will be better off.

call legal aid, too.

Answer 4

He threw a cheeseburger at you and hit you?
Hell.

Yes, document the mental, verbal and physical things he does. If you want to press charges or get a divorce, that's valuable information in court.

Answer 5

this is what you do. get out quietly acting normal. pack up with what yuou need and the kids stuff. call a hotline for abused women. you'll need to get legal aid and file for divorce. you must keep this quiet from him. lose all traces of yourself to your friends but you may need to get money from the bank to move or borrow some from friends- what i mean is don't tell anyone where you are or leave a trace. you can use it in court and i would take pictures and use a tape recorder too. remember on Oprah..the woman who taped 45 minutes of abuse. do not be a victim. you can do this. i believe in you. i went through something similar and it cost me the life of my child- unborn but don't be like me who waited and got scared..do this now.

Answer 6

Yes write down everything he does to you including the date and everything. If you go to court he wont get the kids just because you were a stay at home mom. Good luck hun.

Answer 7

how lots money did you spend on college? And now you will no longer spend yet another $2000 (if that) to get a criminal expert to guard that investment? think of on that lower back.... relatives violence costs, by way of unusual way human beings act after submitting them, have had some unusual additions positioned on them in some areas. In some places, the guy complaining can not drop the expenditures. you're able to desire to attempt to cajole the prosecutor that it is multiple mess over no longer something--even though it does not sound like no longer something to me. you're able to desire to have faith that the courts and police will unravel issues and justice will merely take place, yet i don't have that form of religion. determine the thank you to pay a criminal expert and get one.

Answer 8

Move to the nearest battered women's shelter and they can help you with getting on aide, restraining orders, counseling.......you have no reason to keep being abused, your daughter is being abused by his abuse of you.

It can turn lethal, I had friends, he was an abuser, he ended up shooting her in the face with a 357 and then shooting himself, that was in 1978 they are still dead and their children had to grow up with out them.

Don't tell him where you are, not for anything. Move today or as soon as he is gone and can't stop you or find out where you are going.

Answer 9

Luckily you learned this about him before you went through a marriage ceremony and had to find out later, the hard way.

It won't change. Document everything and talk to an attorney.

Answer 10

You have been tolerating this for 7 years? That's a hard one for me to buy if I was a juror. Get a job, degree, etc.... make your own money and leave his sorry ****.