How often do you look at your husband and think you almost hate him?

Question

but you love him really, its just that you are growing apart and the love you used to feel has faded and isnt enough anymore?

by the way im not talking about the hearts and flowers love, im more realistic than that but even in our worst fights before i always still felt love but now its getting where i dont much care and im mostly glad when he goes out the door to work.

Martinmagini, you really know what you are talking about with "You can't imagine being without that person for real, even if you can pretend to imagine it on some certain days. The reality would be bitter, empty and lonesome"

You are so right. Its just sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are feeling so low. There have been so many changes this past few months and there i smore to come. I think im just frazzled and so is he.

Hotgirl...dont you know men are like little boys, the more you do for them, the more they take it for granted and just think thats all you are there for. Im sorry that your husband has doen this to you but please find out if it was meant to bad mouth you or just what he considered to be his duty in slagging you off and be one of the boys.
I accidently found out my hubby had ridiculed one of my dinners to a guy he barely knew, but what he never told the guy was that i made the best meal i could out of the food available to me. My hubby had not given me money for shopping or taken me there. In case anyone comments, its what is required of him just now and he knows its his turn.

Answer 1

only a few times over the years. not very often. the love in a long term relationship waxes and wanes, fluctuates and flows, dims and grows. For you, it could come back full force again. Years with a person you care about have a way of cementing the relationship. You can't imagine being without that person for real, even if you can pretend to imagine it on some certain days. The reality would be bitter, empty and lonesome.
I think its just the way relationships go. You don't stay the same from year to year, and neither does a love for another.
That is my opinion.

Answer 2

I think everyone goes through that. I do, and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. All healthy marriages have ups and downs. The important thing is that even if sometimes you feel like you just don't feel anything anymore, you stop, think, and remember that you really do love him, you're just going through a boring time. Sometimes you have to make yourself have fun like the old days. Cuddle up next to him on the couch. Go out to dinner or for a drink. Do something fun that you used to do when you first got together. Sometimes both members of a couple just need a pick-me-up. It's easy for all of us to say, "I'm exactly the same person I used to be, you've changed". But take a step back, look in the mirror and you'll probably realize that you've changed too. Do you feel as happy as you used to? Are you that bitter old lady you used to hate your mom for being. I realized I was starting to be, so I lightened the heck up, and my marriage got better. I fell in love with my husband again.

Answer 3

I am soo sick of people..oh we are growing apart I don't feel the same I am bored. Why the heck do people get married. For marrying sake? Marraige is hard, you have to work at it. I learned to late. I thought I felt the same in my marraige and showed it now he left and I am dealing with the fact that I do love him and regret feeling like that. I became selfish and wasn't happy with my life or myself and blamed him and that is what you are doing. Go get some hobbies, go back to school, go meet new people. Make you life a little interesting without depending on him to do it for you 24/7. Thats too much pressure for a guy. Once you are happy with the busy life you lead you will see its not that you don't love him and that you are growing apart your just growing restless. Also get some counseling now to help figure out why your feelings are changed things can be fixed if you try. You don't just love and then don't love thats crap

Answer 4

Yes, until you split up and then you wonder what it was all about and how can you feel like that about someone you have shared so much of your life with and had kids with- its a weird emotion. I realised i hated the things he did but the man himself i really loved deeply- i thinks a case of distguishing between the two. We divorced 4 years ago but now i don't think there is any point in hate its negative- i feel sad that i am losing out on my kids lives because of him and i cannot forgive him for it- but hate is very strong and it doesn't do you any good in the long term.

Answer 5

He's not my husband, my partner, but id say its probably more than 4 times a week. Especially when he starts shouting at the kids for nothing, he works all hours and when he walks in the door he only has to look at them and he's shouting his head off about stupid things like their toys or shoes on the floor. He does nothing around the house even tho i work too, but if i ask for a hand out he'll tell me to get the kids to do it. I would say at this stage the love i had is well and truly faded

Answer 6

Love is a choice, you can't change him, but you can change what you are doing. You can become more agreeable and a lot that you are arguing over could be let go. If you become more tolerant, patient, caring, giving, understanding, selfless, unconditionally loving, quick to laugh and slow to anger with your husband, your whole marriage will turn around.

Read the definition of love in the Holy Bible, 1st Cor chapter 13. Once you know what love is, you can choose to practice it. It will be a lot easier to honor your wedding vows once you do.

Answer 7

Today I hate my husband I have not said one word to him all day, he has been telling me everyday how wonderful I am and how I look after him so well, but I found out last night that he has been laughing behind my back and telling lies about me to all his friends, I am the laughing stock of his rugby club.
I found out because he sent me a text message by accident that he meant to send to his mate,
'Im leavin the old bit ch now, f*cking nagging cow, she's at it again'
He text this after I had just made him an awesome dinner, ran him a bath and gave him a massage, and the one thing he has always told me is the best thing about me is that I have never nagged him!
He has been telling lies about me to seem hard done by at rugby and be 'one of the lads', he told me all of this after I lost it with him last night, Im so hurt I feel like I could walk out the door right now!
I pay the rent, buy the food and look after the bills while he is studying, and this is how he repays me! and you know I have never rubbed that in his face once until now.
I WANT A DIVORCE!!
We had been so blissfully happy until now, I thought he was the most amazing man I have ever met, I was so in love with him now I feel nothing but hurt, there was hardly ever a bad word between us until yesterday, I am so gutted I thought I knew this man, he seemed so honest, trustworthy and wonderful, my perfect man, but the truth is I am an idiot who saw what I wanted to see.
sorry for the rant.
He seemed so different to my previous boyfriends, he has told people I have cheated on him, verbally abused him and generally treated him like c*rap, this couldn't be further from the truth, I found out all this when I phoned one of his friends and asked him what he'd been saying.
I can't forgive him, I can't even look at him, Im glad I found out but at the same time wish I hadn't.

Answer 8

Try being open with one another and talking more about everything especially reminiscing over the good times. This will bring you closer together. Try doing new things together and have new interests together. It is quite normal to feel like this when a relationship is on the rocks. Be brave and Strong and see if it helps. Good luck!

Answer 9

As much as I dislike the feeling when I looked at my Xhusband I did hate him...I still do. I will always wish him well and hope he finds happiness somewhere, anywhere especially so long as its away from me. But when I think of him now...I get sick to my stomach, and hate the day that I met him. I've always been a person who believes in forgiveness...but I've been having a hard time finding that forgiveness...maybe its because after two years he is still financially ruining my life. The abuse was unbelievable and those horrid, hate filled words still fill my head..."I won't just hurt you, I'll f*ck you up for life" How do you forgive?

Answer 10

it sounds like you are having problems with yourself,my answer to you is to have a very honest and hearty talk with your husband,tell him exactly what you are feeling,if you still love him,you surely have to try,marriages can get to be too much of a routine,taking each other for granted,put that something back that used to be there,go away together on your own,and imagine it,s your first weekend away together,your lovers,not married,i think you,ll know if you still love him then,try to make it a surprise,just book a weekend away,it,s got to be worth a try,you say you love him,i feel you do,you really need to go back in time,buy some sexy clothes,go away together,it does,nt have to be night time when you lock the door.