Ok, so how about i came out of a Tumultuous marriage that really should have never happened, ok we were together for 10 yrs before we even got married ( i know, i know, if he was like that before you married him what makes you think he will change) but guess what? now we are the best of friends . I never stopped believing in love, when i was going through it, i use to pray for god to bless me with someone that believes in love the way ido. and guess what? got my life back on track, i was going about my own business, not even concerned with meeting ANYONE, and then he fell in my lap, my answer, my dream, and sometimes i still think im dreaming, my question is that, is it somewhere that in the back of my mind that i don't think he could love me like the way he tells me, shows me, and then there are the bad thoughts and the what ifs. anyone out there who is starting over, please tell me how did you over come that feeling of hesitation and just take that big leap?
2007-08-21 08:04:13 · 21 answers · asked by luvmylilmen76 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me as if you asked God for something and He's trying to show you His love by answering your prayer and you are not trusting Him.
Pray for wisdom and peace. All is well!!!
2007-08-21 08:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To be honest you should be scared, that means your really trying to do whats right for you. At the same time you have to be brave, and be willing to take a chance, so that you can feel good about being in love again.
Though I am not sure if you are talking about the same guy from your marriage, or a guy that just took your breath away. If its the same guy from your marriage odds are he is not worth it. He has a motive and its not just to make you happy. If your talking about a new guy you've meet give it a little chance and try not to move to fast, you should be able to tell if hes going to stick around after a little while.
Well if your looking for the motivation to get past you hesitation, ask your self this, What do I have to loose? if you have more to loose then you do to gain. I think you might already know your anwser.
Sonojudan
"I didn't ask to be a genius. I just woke up one day and realized that I was one."
2007-08-21 08:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by thesonojudan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, I was always told not to compare one lover to a past lover. and I can tell you, this is so far from the truth. I've been married twice, and both were heinous. about six months before I met my man, I went through a divorce. after we separated and were supposed to be working on our problems, I found out my "husband" was messing around with a stripper. and it got nasty, especially since we had a young daughter involved. I got myself on track, focused on myself and my kids. and when I met my guy, it was instant love. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't count my blessings for having him in my life. and when I compared him to my exes, that's when I realized what a true gem he is. all the things they would have done to hurt me, he wouldn't. all the things they would have neglected, he doesn't. and if I didn't have two crappy marriages under my belt, maybe I wouldn't appreciate him the way I do. the same goes for him and his failed marriage. it makes him appreciate who I am, and the fact that I'm not like his ex.
if you're having problems seeing him for him, remind youself that he's not anyone you've ever been with. sometimes, when I have my doubts, I just say to myself, "he's not them. he's not them!" and it helps to put it into perspective. if he's your answer, your dream, shows you and tells you he loves you, chances are this is it. take it, appreciate it, and hold it close. you may not get this chance again. also, if you're having issues, talk to him, ask him to be patient with you, and help you through this. if he loves you the way he says he does, he'll help you see he is who he says he is. and for the record, the love of my life fell in my lap. I didn't go out looking for him, it just happened. take it one day at a time, and if you love him, make it work. good luck!
2007-08-21 08:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, If you go though life always worried about being hurt, then you will never find the good relationship that is right in front of you.
Try reading a few books on Marrital relationships, and make sure you know what went wrong the first time.
his needs, her needs, By Willard Harley Jr.
Smart love By Dr. phil.
The 5 love languages, By Chapman.
Then you can make a decision based on your true feelings, and not your fears.
God Bless.
2007-08-21 14:13:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey babe---its okay to feel that way, it'll keep you on your toes and alert for any negative changes in your dude's attitude. Just don't stress him or yourself needlessly by voicing these worries if he's acting cool. Because, my girl, you can't judge every guy by the actions of the last one or even the one before if there was one. In other words, give him a chance to make or break himself because that's what you need to do. If he ain't actin' shady then don't hold the last dude's faults against him or yeah, he just might think you're damaged goods. Remember, actions speak louder than words and if he's SHOWING you that he loves you, then that's what counts. Hope you have a happy life and take care babe,
askaman
2007-08-21 08:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by www.askaman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm no expert. and I still ask that same question myself every know and then. I was married for 10 yrs too, I was single 4 yrs, know I have been engaged for almost a year, and I still ask myself if he really loves me the way he says. But reality is that love comes and goes, take what you have and enjoy it while you have it, it might not be there tommorrow. Stop worriying about if he really does, or doesn't, and start enjoying him and yourself....
2007-08-21 10:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jess F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I've just always believed in myself. If you yourself think you're "damaged", it will influence your relationships with others. You have to try and be confident; when relationships don't work out, it is not because YOU were wrong or bad or stupid - it takes both people to make a relationship successful or run it into the ground. You do your best, and hope that the other person is doing their best. Just believe in yourself.
2007-08-21 08:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
luvmylilmen76 ? Dear my marrige sounded like yours and that was 22 years ago. Sounds like the lord came through for you ! Pray about it then take that leap of faith if your heart says so ! I am still alone only because I am disabled from a motercycle wreck I had the morning I saw my wifes lover at my house ! Hon broken toys like us just need some tender loving care, and it sounds like you have found your toyman !
2007-08-21 08:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you have to trust that person if he is telling you that he loves you then believe it. for example. i leave to school before my husband leaves to work , and as i am getting dressed sometimes i feel that the clothes that i am wearing don't look nice on me, but when my husband opens his eyes as i kiss him goodbye he tells me that i look gorgeous and i feel much better. if i start to think that he is only saying that because he loves me or because he has nothing better to say then i am the one with the problem.
after i hear him tell me that i look good i forget the fact that i didn't like what i was wearing in the first place. i only know that is his opinion that matters. and i shouldn't care what people say to me.
i feel that you should give that new relationship a chance and if you feel that god sent you this relationship then good for you. enjoy.
hope i was able to help.
2007-08-21 08:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lovable ♥♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he truly cares for you, he will be patient while you work through this.
It will help you, not only in this relationship, but in your life - if you remove thoughts of "damaged" from your vocabulary. Be confident in who you are and in what you are seeking from life.
If he meets your needs and gives you the space and time you need to make this decision, I wish you every happiness.
2007-08-21 08:24:19 · answer #10 · answered by yoak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋