TTC gals - How do you deal with the waiting/hoping/letdowns?

Question

I remember when I was in junior high and wished periods came every 2-3 months (or never! lol). How ironic! Now that my hubby and I are trying, I am wishing that we ovulated twice a month. The wait between periods feels so long, especially when I get my period at the end of the cycle and feel that let-down feeling like "darn, not pregnant yet."

I know that stress can actually screw with your hormones and fertility, so I don't want to stress myself out and prevent my own chances of pregnancy. It also takes the fun out of the actual conceiving part!

I was just curious what other people do and how they cope with the rollercoaster of trying to conceive. Any suggestions?

I just want to thank you all for sharing, for all your good wishes, and all your words of encouragement. Maybe I'll just let this one go to a vote to determine the "best" answer. It's so striking how many of us are going through the same feeling, and how many of us need this feeling of community and support. I tested recently and it was a BFN. >.< Thankfully, after I cried I came to back here and read all of your responses and they really helped.

***Baby Dust*** to all of you and best of luck!!!!!

Answer 1

I hold on to every shred of hope there is... I used to get stressed out about when to test and how long I should wait to see if I get my period... now I just go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of pregnancy tests at a time. Then I can test whenever I want.

My husband and I have been TTC our first child for over 2 years now with not one positive pregnancy test. I wouldn't say I've given up, but I've more or less taken a break on caring about it. Right now, my husband and I have been having fun together... having sex when we want to and if we don't, no big deal, hanging out together, watching stupid movies together. I still chart my BBT though (it gives me something visual to look at).

I would never tell anyone to "just stop trying and it will happen" because I know that there is no way to "just stop trying", so my suggestion is to have fun with it. I'm not sure if you chart your BBT, but it's been a great thing for me... www.fertilityfriend.com.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Ugh! I think that the two week wait is the cruelist thing ever at this point! hahaha

When I was in high, I only got my period a few times a year at the most. Little did I know, it was due to PCOS. I wasn't having sex...so I was loving the fact that it didn't come every month like my other friends. Oh how the tables have turned now!!!!!!

This passed Saturday when AF reared her ugly head, I sobbed in the bathroom, and then again in the bedroom, and then finally sitting out on my deck. I'm not a cryer, so I felt pretty pathetic crying into my wine glass out on my deck! I must've said three or four times to my husband "why the heck is it so hard to get pregnant on purpose!"

I surf the internet incessantly during my 2WW, or i guess i shoudl say more than usual. I've gotten pretty good at torturing mysefl reading about early pregnancy symptoms and evaluating every little cramp, twinge, or yawn that happen from the moment i ovulate until af shows up. I will definitely be reading other answers in search of some good ideas.

Answer 3

I try to find the positive in it and say well just means that we have to baby dance a lot next month. I know that its a real roller coaster my hubby and I have been trying since the beginning of the year - succeeded twice and lost the baby's immediately. Just found out we lost the second one yesterday and now we have to waite for at least 6 months before trying again. It really sucks but I try and find some bit of "good" after every let down. One thing that helps me is really putting my time and attention towards my son and hubby. Like cooking special meals, dining with candle light, take the little man to the zoo as a family, etc... You get the idea. And of course the day that aunt flow visits there are tears and usually some chocolate. Best of luck

Answer 4

The feeling that I feel makes me feel less than a woman, I've been ttc for 4 years now, every month I wish I don't see my period just as well as I cant wait to get it. The reason y I wish I dnt see it is because I want to be pregnant so bad, but if I test and dont get a positive I be die in for my period to come so I could start baby making again

Answer 5

I hear ya, sister. I'm going through the same thing also. I stayed home when I got AF the other night, and watched t.v and ate some chocolate and felt sorry for myself- but for one hight only. It helps to talk to friends too. I have two girlfriends who are ttc at this time as well. We complain about it to each other, and express our hopes as well. I'm scared though, that at the end of the year, my two friends will be pregnant, and I'll be the last one still ttc. It's so hard. Give yourself that one day to grieve, and then buck up, move on, and try try again! That's all we can do, I guess.!

Answer 6

I know exactly what you're going through. I lamented about how unfair it all is at the onset of my last period. I'm currently in the same boat you are. Waiting for my period NOT to come!

The best advice I can give you is just keep telling yourself you can try again. It's not usual for two healthy adults to take months to conceive. Yeah I know that doesn't matter, because we want babies ASAP, right?! I think it's okay to cry. I do. But try not to be consumed by it. Do your best to think positively to the future. And enjoy sex. Make sure you're not just having sex with your husband/partner when you're ovulating.

Best wishes!

Answer 7

I went through it for 2 years...it is funny, I just got my period after weaning my daughter, so it was like the first period in 4 years that didn't break my heart! I actually got sad until I remembered I didn't need to be.

I just made it through...I had some friends I talked to.....got a little mad....I actually broke down EVERY month when my son wasn't around...seriously didn't hold it in, cried and was really really angry for a day then I buckled down for next month...it was much easier than trying to hold it together all the time. I allowed myself the first day of every period.

Answer 8

I greet my period with a big glass of wine (guilt free) and try to look at the bright side. I say to myself...how exciting it will be to get pregnant and have a baby but if I'm not at least I'll get to drink Margerittas when I go to Mexcio in November. I try to find the postives. I also try really hard to keep the sex spicy and enjoyable so it doesn't start to feel like a chore.

I hope your baby dreams come true soon!

Answer 9

I actually like to hang with my sisters after I get a BFN. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my husband, but they just help me get back to my normal self. They know we're trying, but they don't know how long or how anxious we are to have kids.
But they are always know how to cheer me up when I'm down. They can say the silliest things to make me laugh and help pass the time until the big 'O' again.

I've learned to not test early also. Seeing negatives can bring you down so much, so not seeing anything at all helps me realize the hope that I still have.

Answer 10

Well we have only been trying for 2 months but it is nerve wracking. I cried in July when I got my period because we want a child so bad. My husband thought I was a little nuts but of course was sweet enough to not say so. :) It is always a roller coaster and I don't think that it gets any easier. Just try to stay calm and keep praying.