can someone tell me why my husband doesn't notice me?

Question

i feel like my husband doesn't notice me at all. i feel more like his buddy than his wife. i can't understand why. he's more interested in hanging out w/his friends than me. he tells me i look like eva mendez all the time and he finds her attractive but and i'm always told i look like gina gershon but i feel like he doesn't find me attractive

Answer 1

sounds like most marriages

Answer 2

Finding someone pretty and being attracted to them are two different things.
He may be unaware of his actions. He may think everything is fine between the two of you and not even realize that he is making you insecure and causing you to question your relationship.
Do you feel more like his buddy because you don't do anything as a couple? because your sex life has diminished? because there is not intimacy? When the two of you do something together are his friends always included?
I would talk to him. Don't ask him if he still finds you attractive, he'll say yes regardless of the truth. Ask him about spending more time as a couple. Let him know you are feeling a little insecure about yourself, see what his response is.
Does he make an effort? Does he scale back on time with the guys? Does he initiate sex more? If nothing changes, then you may need professional counseling.

Answer 3

Try one day before he comes home putting on some make up your favorite outfit that makes your body pop and see what he says. See if he notices then. Maybe as your marriage has progressed you have fallen into a habit of just living and not trying to make yourself more attractive as you used to.

My husband used to be like this and I felt really bad, but the moment I put on make up one day he noticed and liked the change. Then 2 weeks ago I had a baby, and I feel like a huge cow even though I weighed 191 before I delivered and back down to 152 when my pre pregnancy weight was 145, so I'm almost there. But I felt pretty good when his buddy came over the other day and said for just having a baby your wife looks d*** good. He just smiled and said I know.

Sometimes it's just the little things that you change to make them notice you. :)

Answer 4

Has he been stressed lately? If so, try to do some romantic things. Or do something totally not you out of the blue. Like when he comes home, walk up front totally naked. Or right when he is watching tv perform an attention grabber" sexual in nature", only for a few moments just for him to notice then walk away. Also talk with him, later in the evening tell him how you feel.

Answer 5

I'm sorry I don't know why your husband doesn't notice you, you sound very pretty. I have to say, I look like neither of those women and don't feel very attractive (I find my husband extremely attractive) but he always notices me. Yes, he needs guy time once in a while but the majority of the time it is me and our children that my husband wants to be with. Is he in love with you? You need to talk to him about this. No one reading your question is going to fully understand and know how to answer you. Only you and your husband can figure this one out.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Does he still try to have sex with you? Then he notices you. It sounds like these are your OWN feelings and insecurities coming up, not how he is truly feeling. You may be in a rut where you feel bland, like you don't wear makeup anymore or do your hair, or dress up. Women get in those ruts when they've been married for a while or have kids and just don't have time anymore to look great! It's important for women to fix themselves up not for a man but for themselves!!! It makes YOU feel good inside and he'll notice too! For your own sake, if I were you, I'd do a weekend of beauty where you go to the hair salon, get your nails done, go shopping with a friend who will force you to buy clothes that don't look so MOTHERLY! Look for clothes that are a little sexier but still you. Believe me, it'll make you feel like a million bucks. I firmly believe the best thing you can ever do for your children is to take care of yourself and love your husband. Women tend to get so involved taking care of everyone else that they forget to take care of themselves then end up feeling like a bump on a log!

Answer 7

It's like when men cheat on their really hot girlfriends. It doesn't make sense, but to the men, they've had those girls, so it's not a big deal to them. You're married, though, and it's a shame that he pays more attention to his friends. He'll take notice when you decide you've had enough and leave his butt. Do you have your own life? I mean, do you do your own things? Like job, hobbies, other things that don't involve him? Or is it all centered around him? If it is, try doing your own things. When he realizes that your world doesn't revolve around him, he'll start noticing all the ways he took advantage of you.

Answer 8

Being attractive is not only about looks. Do you notice him? What do you do to make him want to spend time with you vs his friends? Demand his attention! Figure out some way to wake him up.

Answer 9

Because he feels secure having you..no challenge for him anymore...sad but true...It's like stop watching a baseball game because your team is winning, then next day you find out that your team lost!!!!
I would recommend you to get busy, and find some interest for yourself, and hopefully it won't be another man that pay more attention to you.
Have you ever tried telling him how do you feel?

Answer 10

Really, you need a hobby. You've got too much time on your hands when you are using celeb comparisons to evaluate your husbands affections. Instead of talking with him about it and seeing if there is an actual issue, something that can be changed or if that is just the type of person he is and whether or not you can deal with that.

Answer 11

I have the same problem and all I said to him was " If your not gonna give me attention I'll find it some where else." But even with that comment I have yet to be seen. Maybe it'll work on your man.