How are these lyrics?

Question

http://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing/24464-no-title-yet-thanks.html

Thanks!

Answer 1

I like the structure but no lines rhyme, taking some of the artistic effect away. That makes the song more introspective and thus more personal, but harder to reach some parts of your audience.

Here's an example of something I've done. I put it on Windows document in a font in caps, and apologize for the "yell" look:

Somebody Shot John

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, NOBODY KNOWS WHO DID IT
SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, THEN HAD TO RUN AND HIDE
SOMEBODY SHOT THIS MAN; THEY MAY NOT REGRET IT
JOHN TOOK A BULLET, AND WE KNOW IT WASN’T SUICIDE

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO MADE THE MASTER PLAN
SHAME ON THE PRESS, SHAME ON THE CAMERAMAN
IT DOESN’T MATTER ABOUT COLOR, JUST LET HIM BE
SHAME ON THE SKINHEADS, AND NAACP
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – ONE YOUNG MAN IS GONE
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, PEOPLE ARE ASKING WHY
SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, ANOTHER HOMICIDE
AN INTERRUPTED JOURNEY, A GIFT THAT PASSED US BY
REASON HAS FAILED US AS THE VIOLENCE OVERCAME THE PRIDE

IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW THE MURDERER WENT BAD
SHAME ON THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, SHAME ON HIS MOM AND DAD
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO SOLD THE KILLING GUN
SHAME ON THE LOBBYISTS, SHAME ON THE BUSINESSMEN
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – JOHN'S SIX FEET UNDERGROUND
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – SOME LOSER GUNNED HIM DOWN

THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING.... THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, IT WAS A CRIME OF HATE
SOMEONE PULLED THE TRIGGER, NOW HIS WHOLE LIFE IS SPENT
SOMEBODY CHEATED HIM, TWISTING THE HANDS OF FATE
NO ONE CAN HELP HIM NOW, THE CHANGES ARE ALL PERMANENT

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT WAS HE STOOD FOR
SINCE HE CAN’T SUPPORT HIS CAUSE ANYMORE
IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING
A HEARTBEAT IS FROZEN, A LIFE WAS LOST IN VAIN
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – THE BLOOD IS HARD AND RED
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – BECAUSE THIS MAN IS DEAD

THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING.... THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING

Answer 2

Alright.

You have a typo.

Barrable.

Unless you mean you are saying goodbye to a piece of wood.

Answer 3

typical