I'm hurt he didn't invite me! What would you do?

Question

Most of my fiance's family live in Maryland. We live in Ca. His father lives out here too. About 2 months ago his little sister & I got into an argument via e-mail simply because I asked her, very politely I might add! ,to remove the photo of my son & my fiance from her MySpace page. I don't care what everyone thinks of myspace. It is something my fiance & I don't feel is a proper place to have kids pics. Anyways, she handled it very immaturely and everyone told her to back off. So we never made up. Fast forward to now. My fiance tells me his sister, mom, & old family female friend are all coming to CA in Dec and he is going to his dad's house (which is a couple hours away) to spend 2 or 3 days with them. I was very hurt that I wasn't invited and I told him so. He said if I make up with his sister he'd love me to go but I don't see why he wouldn't have just automatically brought me in the first place. I never ever go anywhere without him being invited. I'm hurt & mad.

Answer 1

thats his family...dont worry about it. let him go, and have a good time. i am completely with you on the myspace thing, and you did nothing wrong to make up for...she did. she should apologize to you, but that wont happen.
my husbands family and i hate each other, but we (husband and i) dont let it get in our marriage. whats between me and them, stays between me and them. i would never ask or expect him to choose sides...

Answer 2

Your fiance should not allow this to happen and the family should not get caught up in any problems the sister has with you! The mother could have invited everyone along and who ever decided to remain out of the gathering would have been their choice. Your fiance if he goes and does not take you along is making the statement to his family that you were wrong in how you handled things. I would be very upset with my fiance to in how he is allowing things to be handled to. I guess this just shows you how this family takes care of disputes in the family and things better go their way or no way at all. They are letting you know that they hold all the power here and over your fiance to!! Good luck and stand up for what you feel is right.

Answer 3

You are right that he should have invited you. However, it is my opinion that you were a little harsh in asking his sister to remove the pics. Clearly she was proud to put them there. What could possibly happen with your son and fiances pics on the site? There is no address or phone number, nor does she live with you to cause it to be a threat in any way. I am thinking you need to choose your battles a little more carefully. But I would also have a very long talk with your fiance even if it is in front of a counselor. You do not want to be married to someone who does not stick by you.

Answer 4

I would be too!!!! For one, if he was a real man HE would've been the one to ask his sister to take the damn picture off!!! You should not have had to have a confrontation with his sister but it happened. And it sounds like he's on your side but he hasn't had the guts to just say to his sister "you've been really immature and need to smooth things over with my fiance!" Why is he putting it on YOU to make up with his sister? You did nothing wrong. She was the one acting completely immature. But it sounds like enough time has passed where if the 2 of you were in the same room, it might actually give you a chance to smooth things out yourselves!

Yes, I would be offended if he didn't automatically include me in his famly events. That only serves to alienate you FURTHER and make a bigger deal out of this little spat. If he makes a big deal by not bringing you, then everyone will think you were too pissed to come which isn't the case!! Nothing good can come of you not going to visit with his family. And let me tell you - any man that will ever choose his family over his soon-to-be wife needs to reassess his priorities. You are going to be his wife for goodness sake. It's in everyone's best interest that he try to make you as much a part of his family as possible....instead of alienating you from them!!!

Answer 5

Does the two set of father and mom have some variety of relationship with the marriage occasion's siblings and oldsters? Are the participants of the marriage occasion throughout 18? If no and confident, then why interior the might might you invite those human beings? the marriage is for persons that the couple and the prompt families understand and care approximately, not for persons the groomsmen and bridesmaids understand and care approximately. If 2 adults stay jointly as a pair, and bypass approximately jointly socially as a pair, then they could desire to be invited as a pair. If the two adults are purely room friends, then you quite invite each seperately or invite in basic terms the only which is widely used and cared approximately. person toddlers are adults; father and mom want not be risk-free. in basic terms invite "And focused visitor" in case you already know somebody who's regrettably named And focused visitor. do not hear to the marriage marketplace in this one; they are going to mislead get at your funds. hear to Emily placed up and omit Manners. Singles attend as singles. each focused visitor is invited by skill of brand call. in case you do not understand somebody's call, discover out. make valuable that "iffy" singles understand that any better half they are going to hold would be considered the better half, and which you will want to recommend a toast to them and ask them to tell truthfully everyone how they met and fell in love. So there. no one could be treating a focused visitor of their very own to a champagne supper and dancing at YOUR cost. Pay on your guy or woman dates, cheapster! once you start up reducing, bear in thoughts which you have something of your lives to occasion alongside with your youthful cousins and your guy or woman set of youthful frieds. Our elders and kinfolk who stay a techniques away won't have that many greater opportunities to confirm their kinfolk amassed jointly. cut back buddies earlier kinfolk, cut back youthful kinfolk participants earlier older kinfolk participants. i'm hoping this helped. Congrats and maximum suitable desires.

Answer 6

Been there. My mother-in-law and I had a big all out yelling fight once. My husband got in on it and at the time it seemed that he was on her side. I was so hurt! Well, after calming down I let him have. I told him how I AM supposed to be number one in his life and how he was married to me and not to his mommy. (I respect all mothers truly but I was mad). Anyway, he spoke to his mom and I guess things didn't go too well and he told her that until she apologized to me, she will receive no visits from us. He told her that I was his wife and that she had to come to our house. Needless to say, she did and it's been ok since.

In your situation, I would ask his family why I wasn't invited. And then see what happens. They will place the blame on him and he will blame the sister and round and round it's going to go. Good luck.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, she is wrong for plastering your child's picture all over the net w/o your permission. She should be apologizing. Your child is your responsibility to care for, you never know who may take up some obsession with your sons pic and inadvertently gain information to your where abouts and come take him. Its a stretch yes, but YOU JUST NEVER KNOW! That isn't something I would be willing to take a chance on. Your child your rules, she should respect that. And as I've always said blood is thicker than water, and your spouse will eventually choose their family over you. But your husband taking his sister's side over the well being of his son's, wrong-wrong-wrong.

Answer 8

When you married him you married his family too. It is sooo important to get along with them. I think that the sister should have respected your thoughts on removing the pic but you need to make up with her, it strains the relationship when family doesn't get along. He probably didn't invite you because he didn't want any fighting or drama to occur. Just be the bigger person and swallow your pride and make up with the girl. I guarantee that your husband will not only be inpressed with your actions but he will really just love you that much more. Good luck and hope things work out for you...

Answer 9

Quite frankly, that was a huge over reaction on your part about the myspace page. Your fiance is her family, and she has every right to share photos that you have sent to her in any manner she chooses - since the picture is basically her property.

I don't care how "polite" you were about it - you pretty much accused her of being a child pornography solicitor simply because she has the photo on myspace.

More than likely, YOU are the only one who finds putting a family photo on myspace offensive, and your husband only went along with it just to get you from harping on him about it.

I can understand him not bringing you...You haven't just upset the sister, you have pissed off the entire family, and none of them want to see you until they know you feel bad for making a huge deal over something they consider trivial.

Answer 10

I can understand your being hurt but since you are going to be part of this family, you might as well kiss and make up.

There are going to be family gatherings for the rest of your married life.

I'm sure that no one will ever be comfortable in the middle of this feud.

It was something that needed to be corrected but now it is time to correct bad feelings.

Life is to short to cause family feuds.

Forgive her. She is probably too young to know better but I bet you are old enough to know it is up to you to make amends.

You will be glad you did in the end.

Hope this helps you to do the right thing.