My grandson and his girlfriend have been taking drugs and she is 5 months pregnant,she has been told the unborn baby has a gap in it,s spine right at the bottom.They have told her she can have a termination but they have to make that decision.
My heart is broken over this and i am only it,s great grandmother.Will this child survive in this world,does anyone on here have the same,what do we all do,it will surly be loved if it comes int this world..
2007-08-21 06:42:25 · 32 answers · asked by wendy e 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am in NO WAY a pro-lifer, however, I AM a woman who was born 57 YEARS AGO with severe physical handicaps and deformities of my spine, neck and face..... My parents too were given an "option" but back in the 50's there were only 2 options..... give the child UP to the State to be raised in an institution with MINIMAL constructive measures, or take the baby home and do the best you can.... Well, I went home---I've had 37 surgeries in my lifetime, but I graduated from college, got a job with the government that lasted 35 YEARS (promotions along the way), got married, had a PERFECTLY NORMAL BABY and am now retired.... My life was NOT perfect, there was a LOT of pain... both physical AND mental, but through sheer grit and determination I was NOT and DID NOT let my deformities and handicaps deter me from living life to the fullest... Regardless as to how your great grandchild comes into this world, it will STILL be a gift...he or she will still be capable of learning, thinking, feeling, and depending on the severity of the spina bifida, he or she MAY even be able to walk and lead a pretty normal life JUST AS I DID!!!!! Two things have to happen here in order for this child to HAVE a good life REGARDLESS of his or her condition at birth.... 1. That he or she gets all the medical attention he or she has a RIGHT to.. (surgeris, therapy, whatever... NOT to be neglected)...and 2. that NO ONE treats this child as "special" or "different"....
BEING different is going to be a HUGE challenge for this child just as it was for ME, but learning how to deal with it is KEY----I KID people about mine all the time and that is how I cope.. they laugh WITH me that way rather then AT me... I have a FULL life, TONS of friends and family and have had friends that I've kept for over 40 YEARS... my "problem " hasn't stopped me, nor will it stop your great-grandchild... as long as YOU and your family DON'T LET IT...!!!! Once this child is born and you hold it in YOUR arms for the very first time, all your doubts as to whether the child should BE here--will be calmed....
2007-08-21 06:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this.This is a decision only they can make, as devestating as it is. There are plenty of babies with spina bifida that surivive and can live a normal life. If they decide to keep the baby then you will have to hope and prey everything goes well, which im sure it will! Although, i dont want to sound like a moan but they really do need help to give up the drugs. its not fair on their child, its not a good start in life and drugs are dangerous, it is common sense something bad could well happen to the child because of it. You sound like a great caring woman, and im sure with your help everything will be ok.
2007-08-21 08:35:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.k. My cousin has spina bifida. Of course he has a lot of problems but he is 23 years old and attends a University, plays guitar and is a great person! I am not sure if it could help now, but it couldn't hurt to take folic acid supplements. As far as her terminating the pregnancy, it is up to her. I am sure that your heart is breaking because it is very sad that they have continued to use throughout her pregnancy, unfortunately this happens every day. Take care and you and the baby are in my prayers!
2007-08-21 07:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by Brooke S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they will have to make the decision together. if they decide to keep the baby, it will have medical problems. but that doesn't mean the baby won't grow to have a meaningful life. i am prochoice and i actually work in a hospital that will do medical terminations for things like spina bifida. it is never an easy decision for the parents and although with time they will probably start to heal, it will be with them for the rest of their lives. i'm sure they will put a lot of thought (and tears) into their decision. try and support them even if the outcome isn't what you want.
2007-08-21 06:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by calypso_cal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My nephew is 48 in October and has spina bifida He has had many health problems over the years including a kidney transplant but I dont know if these have been related to spina bifida. I couldnt imagine my life without him. I couldnt make that decision but I wish you luck and love in whatever you decide to do
2007-08-21 06:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My little brother has spina bifida and besides wearing braces and using crutches he is as smart and as normal as the rest of us. There are all different cases of spina bifida. This baby needs it's parents and the parents NEED to grow up and stop using drugs. It's going to be alot of work but it will be well worth it..
2007-08-21 06:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by kraz 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know much about it, but here are a few websites you might find helpful, and you could share with them. As far as the situation, can they even handle a child, let alone one with a disability? Are they going to stop taking drugs? Have they thought about adoption? What do their parents say? Anyway, I know it's heartbreaking and a tough decision, but all things happen for a reason. I wish you and them the best of luck.
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/bone/spina_bifida.html
http://www.nichcy.org/pubs/factshe/fs12txt.htm
http://www.sbaa.org/site/c.liKWL7PLLrF/b.2642297/k.5F7C/Spina_Bifida_Association.htm
2007-08-21 06:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
support them all you can, try not to pressure them into a decision, as others have said no child is ever 'perfect' and will be loved regardless, why dont you suggest they talk to their doctor, or find a support group for things like this. also encourage them to stop the drugs and start thinking about their family, this one and their future one, everyone messes up at some point so try not to be too judgemental and this might be the making of your grandson and his girlfriend, good luck to you all
2007-08-21 07:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by katysnape2005 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My Best friend has spine abifita and she is an amazing person she's not in a wheelchair but shes having her back straightend when she's fifteen. I think they should keep it but if they don't get help with their drug problem then I think it should be put into the care of someone else possibly family. Anyway gd luck! x
2007-08-21 06:58:09 · answer #9 · answered by raspberry.dream 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She could have a lot of happiness in her life, or achieve something in the world. I used to work with students with spina bifida.
2007-08-21 06:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Dan H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋