I was completely worn down from every day demands of life and my two (under two) children yesterday. So by the time evening comes, and my fiance shows up from work, I'm in no mood for lovely dovey.. and just want a shower and a good night of sleep. He took me for a ***** and now is getting even by being an ***. Any ideas of how to make him understand..., or just get our home in the good vibe before he gets here? Please ... no suggestions about apologizing... I already tried this route.
2007-08-21 06:39:34 · 14 answers · asked by reincarnated/beauty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well u can show him what a day in ur life is, by leaving him with ur 2 children and a list of things that need to be done and go out and have some "me" time the next day that he's off and come home and ask him for sex and see if he's in the mood.. or u can let him know that ur not a sex machine and that ur a human being with feelings and if u dont feel up for sex one night then he should be grown up enough to either handle it himself in the bathroom lol.. or just wait till the following night, ur not his beck and call girl when he wants sex.. now if u have been constantly turning him down, then thats one thing, cause well u cant expect a guy to go with out to long before they get fed up but if this is an every once in a blue moon occurance that ur not up to it, then he needs to get over it..
2007-08-21 06:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a woman, all I would have to do is look at your face and demeanor and add one and one together. That's our nature, men on the other hand, don't necessarily have this little sixth sense so in their minds, they think they're in trouble and get defensive.
It's time for a talk, when both of you aren't so tired and explain your situation in the most calming matter. Start out by saying that your mood isn't his fault, you're just tired at the end of the day with all the demands on you from work and kids, you need time to destress. He'll understand that one.
2007-08-21 14:02:13 · answer #2 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I learned when you're not in the mindset, you're not going to be in the mood. However, it's human nature to withdraw or retaliate when rejected - even if the reasons weren't on a personal level.
To skirt the issue, my husband (even he gets that way sometimes) we devised a phrase: "Can I take a raincheck?". That tells him - I want to, but I'm too tired - but I still desire you and look forward to making love when I feel better. That way it's saying "no" without making it personal. Sometimes when we say "not right now or no" they hear "I don't want to sleep with you." Not what we said, but what they heard.
You can also use "Would you settle for an ice cream and big kiss?" There are ways of saying it without saying it. The reason he's retaliating is because his feelings are hurt. THAT is not your fault. To "make up", suprise him early in the morning or middle of the night. It's easy to take advantage of them, they're body won't let thier mind say no!
Best of Luck!
2007-08-21 13:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by jamierella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try maybe just fixing dinner, don't apologize but just say hey listen, I had a really long and stressful day yesterday. Let's leave that behind us please and have a nice evening today. If he doesn't understand that, maybe you should think of what you are marrying. There will be more days like yesterday, and he can be a little more understanding instead of acting like a big baby. You already have two.
2007-08-21 13:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the kids with him for the weekend all by himself and then come home at the end and try to hit him up for nooky, I bet it is then he will finally understand what you do. Don't apologize being a mom is the hardest job in the world, Give him a small dose of it, maybe then he will appriciate you more. Good luck.
2007-08-21 13:47:50 · answer #5 · answered by Christy RN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just let it ride out - both of you are big on holding grudges...it will pass - trying to get him to understand is just going to cause another fight.
What you might want to do, is call him at some point in the day if you are stressed out and just vent a bit - let him know before he walks in the door that the kids are driving you batty.
2007-08-21 13:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll get over it...if he doesn't, remind him, that he too has bad days sometimes. And as a couple you must be sensitive to each others needs. Placing demands on one another isn't what a relationship is all about.
2007-08-21 13:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to apologise for. Tell him what you told us. Tell him that helping with the housework will get you in the mood faster than hand holding.
2007-08-21 13:45:08 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it BS when we ladies have a bad day, but are suppose to be their for our man! They can have a bad day and be buttholes for weeks!
Did you just simply say, I'm sorry, I'm beat? If you did and he's unforgiving.........it's time he grew up!
Stick to your guns. Let him be an ***...........we have bad days too!
2007-08-21 13:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give in some time...fake it if you have to.
It boost there ego to think they won something, when you know that they were actually just handed the prize.
2007-08-21 13:46:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋