I need your thoughts on the following situation. My 7 year old had two other kids he used to play with that were 9 yrs. It went well for a while and then they started to avoid him, pick on him and say/do things to make him cry. He is not allowed to play with them anymore because of this. These 2 boys live in the neighbourhood and at time, all the kids play together. I have told my 12 year old son that if either of these two boys come to hang around with him, that he is not permitted to play with them simply out of loyalty to his brother (and he is too old for them anyway). I have always believed that one should be loyal to those they love or are close to. I have also clearly stated to my son not to be mean to these boys.
My husband stated that I may be too protective. What do you think?
2007-08-21 06:34:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Your 12 year old could be in the perfect position to mediate.
I would retract your "order", let the 12 year old hang with the kids, and see what happens. Should the subject of his little brother come up, he should (of course) defend him and not tolerate or engage in any dissing.
9 year olds look up to older boys -- it might all work out, the way it usually does with kids.
2007-08-21 06:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of not allowing these boys to play together why not have your 12 son - be the big brother... instead have them all play together and if the other boys get ugly he can step in... It teaches the oldest boy responsibility and the younger brother the meaning of loyalty... The thing is you don't want the oldest to feel like he is being punished because of his little brother. And with a little bit of talking...maybe the oldest brother can find out why the little idiots are being so mean... :)
2007-08-21 06:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by prettylilredbonegal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a similar issue with my son and boys like those in your neighborhood. I would side with you on the loyalty issue. As you stated, your 12 year old is too old to be playing with 9 year olds anyway. And he should show loyalty to his younger brother. It's a very delicate issue and I hope that things work out for you. Family comes first.
2007-08-21 06:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by astroeyes2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not being overprotective. Every child goes through this, but not enough parents care enough to do anything about it. You set down a limit when you told your other son to not be mean to the other boys. This was the right thing to do. Ignoring kids like this is always the best route to take. Eventually it will stop, but it may take a while as kids can be cruel. You are only trying to set rules for your kids that reasonable enough to me. Good job.... in my opinion.
2007-08-21 06:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with your husband
I dont think it was a good move to tell him he is not allowed to play with those guys, he should decide that, if they are picking on him, he should stand for himself.
I would have tell him, first to defend him self, and say to them he does not like that kind of treatment, and also I would have tell him that if they do not understand that that he could always stay away from them, but that would have to be his decition.
For the older one, I guess he did not hang out with them on the first place, so he should be aware of what they did to his brother (that to be sincere, it wasn´t that bad- I know Im a father and my daughters are the most precious- but you have to be objective) and it would also have to be his decition if they ever wanna play with him.
Because now they are "the boys that momy wont let play with mean boys"
2007-08-21 06:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by Roger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have the 12 year old tell the 9 years olds to stop picking on his brother. You also need to teach your kids to stand up for themselves, you are not always gonna be there.
2007-08-21 06:40:02 · answer #6 · answered by shorte716 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in total agreement with you! I also have to give you kudos for that. Most people dont think that way! But, it is good for someone who loves you to stick by your side. I mean how would it feel for someone you love to be best friends with someone who hurt you constantly...not cool. Teaching loyalty at a young age cant hurt anyone..only turn out to be good in the end :) Good job Mom!
2007-08-21 06:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by BooBell=) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you're right. It seems unfair for one of your sons being able to play with the other boys and not the other son. And your son shouldn't pick on the other boys either.
2007-08-21 06:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by Natta Catta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friendships come and flow, if those have been superb associates....i ought to comprehend ...yet on the comparable time teenagers are teenagers, they say and do advise issues to one yet another for all time...boys and ladies.....it truly is barely the way issues are from now on.....i think of in particular circumstances we predict of issues didnt ensue like this while we've been youthful...yet i'm particular they did , and that we only assume like the countless summers we theory we had, that undesirable / advise teenagers didnt exist. while in certainty they did , do and continuously will.
2016-12-12 08:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by bartelt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family first! It would be loving support for his little brother.
2007-08-21 06:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋