friend help!!!!!!!! what do i do!!!!!! me and my BEST friend are separated!!!!!!?

Question

ok so me and my friend are in a rele bad situation. our parents dont want us talking cause since i just came back from a mental institute for cutting my friends family found out she did it too ( only with her she stopped but her family thinks she still does it) and now they dont want us talking or seeing eachother cause they dont want any "negitivity" around her. i think thats bull because im the one she comes to to feel happy! and i dont tell her to cut and it has nothing to do with me and trust me i cant talk to her family cause they wont listen. they think im a bad influence because i paint my nails black. and her grandma (witch is doin most of the talking) is like " marley! dont talk to her! were ganna get this fixed!" and from experience i know that that just scares ppl and gets them nervous and feeling guilty. now her dad (her mom died) is very laid back and rele feels bad for her that shes being harrassed by her grandma and just says " dont worry. we'll take care of it" and tha

n took her to the mall to make her not feel bad cause she was crying alot. isnt her dads method the way to go? and her grandma isnt the boss of her. her dad is. i dont know what to do. please help!!!

Answer 1

Relax, you wear the black goth style because it makes you hard2thecore, now act like it. Realize that your not just dealing with her individual problem but a big society problem that has you both cuttin and your gramma freckin out, it goes beyond that, thats just the visiable things I see in your situation. Cutting typically influences females more then males because there isn't much... sisterhood? female pride? Theres just not much for females as far as companionship goes within our society, bad mothers and fathers is the real problem, but I digress. Your father isn't completely right in his way ether, almost as wrong as the gramma, this needs to be tooken seriously, not the cutting thou, but what causes it. Which has less to do with your own disfunctions as it does with requinizing the dysfunctions you have to deal with, and finding a healthy way to deal with them, which you had in her. There going to tear you apart thou because people like to believe that they hold a certain truth to helping other people "make" it in our social structure. You know just like the religious game it is just a game, but your going to be expected to play the game normally, if not you pay the consequences. Now you could counter by educating yourself, doing what you can to strengthen the sisterhood you ladies share, and then countering, in as matter of fact way as possible, the ignorance others share. Other then that and you just fighting, and I'm afraid if any conversation you have goes to arguement and thats not your goal, you've failed. Espacially when dealing with those with grand in there title you have to now better were there coming from. Getting deep with the grandma and explaining more how you are the way you are well make her more comfrontable in letting you in on the problem she feels she is dealing with her granddaugher there. Also do you know why your goth? or dark, or emo, whatever you want to call it, it doesn't matter what style you pick, but in the realm of human relationships, have a strong reason why well give you respect, weather old or not. Also knowing more so that you can explain how the cutting has less to do with bad inflences and everythign to do with the neglectful, painful influeces you have to deal with in your own families. Because cutting is a sort of..... last resort, to keeping a person, well feeling something, and the only real counter (which you can explain you and your friend ARE the best possible people as long as you countinue to grow and mature together) is geniune relationships. I hate to go this far, but in this world, your bond with her is pretty unique, and lossing sisterhood is just as bad as lossing a mother, when it comes to the female perspective in this male ran world (still hasn't changed, who gets called a whore and its a bad thing?). You guys can really save each other, and them getting in the way is a horrible thing to happen, but even worse is you guys not fight right against it, because quite frankly you are, so understand more yourself, your reasons, you, well help you to educated people more into how intense, how important, and how Primount it is that you guys remain able to relate and care for each other, because its only going to get worse in this society for you with out each other....